Maybe you hate crowds. Possibly you dislike air travel. Maybe you've got a thing about people dropping the "r" sound at the ends of their syllables. Whatever your reasons, you might not have made it out to Boston this past weekend for PAX East, and so didn't get a chance to drop by the Portal 2 booth and check out all the exclusive new game footage and announcements.

"Announcements?" you ask, your eyebrow arching slightly. That's right. This past Friday, we announced the addition of the incredibly talented J.K. Simmons (who you might know better as J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man, or as Juno's dad in Juno) to the cast, as Aperture Science founder and CEO Cave Johnson.

Want more details? The gaming press can help.

http://www.joystiq.com/2011/03/11/j-k-simmons-to-voice-aperture-science-founder-cave-johnson-in-p/

http://kotaku.com/#!5781796/portal-2s-newest-character-is-hilarious-and-possibly-malevolent

http://www.g4tv.com/games/xbox-360/63787/portal-2/articles/73845/Portal-2-Preview-Meet-Cave-Johnson/

http://www.shacknews.com/article/67800/portal-2-preview

http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/115/1155076p1.html

http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2011/03/13/j.k.-simmons-to-lend-vocal-talents-to-portal-2.aspx

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/pax-east-portal-2/711820

Last Friday, we guaranteed you a Valentine with our Aperture-brand "Classy Romance" cards. We solved that problem for you--but now you've got an even bigger one. It's Valentine's Day, and you owe your newly-special someone a truly special gift.

Don't worry, we've got you covered. We don't want to give it away, so we'll just say that you'd better hand-sanitize your lips, because they're in for a lot of smooching, and FACT: mouths are filthy.

Watch the video!

In just seventy-two short hours it'll be Valentine's Day, and that means pressure: finding a girlfriend or boyfriend, for one, then figuring out the perfect romantic gift to give them.

We're going to help you with the "perfect romantic gift" part Monday, but first things first: let's bag you a Valentine!

Download your DIY Valentines cards, here.