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And also they did increase the player scaling on NG+ yeah, but as for your friend tanking the combo from Romeo on NG they would have been just as likely to do that pre-patch.
I do think a big chunk of the variance in first impressions are attributable to muscle memory, playstyle, level (base defense adds up!), etc...
Yea for sure, some people went into this game with a lot of parrying/perfect block experience from some other game in this genre while others (like myself) went into this game with close to zero parry experience. I was a dodge only kind of guy until this game and sekiro got me into parry mechanics and yea it definitely kicked my butt at first lol, but it felt so good once it all clicked.
Like you said, there really is a lot of variables when it comes to how hard an individual will find any particular boss in these games even outside mechanical skill like stat attribution and gear. What one person may get stuck on for several hours another may get through in an hour, thats kind of the beauty of these games everyones experience is different right?