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Also often people play online in open games but kick you for no apparent reason and without letting you know why.
For certain is that players who use Synergies mod can not be joined by players who do not use it.
I didnt use mods lately because there where so few games left that I didnt want to reduce the servers even more by using mods.
we all have the same mod loading order, but 2 friends can join me and 1 can't join me, why is that just stupid .. it's just such a good game!
You could try radmin. Thats a free vpn software that will make the game believe you are in a network and connection is easy because you just connect via the network option and radmin does the rest. One has to be the host, the rest can just join via network. It can be named and pw protected. Connection to the host and loading times are much faster than via the game server.
Gotta ask the mod creator If it could cause lag.
You are using many mods and the more you are using the bigger the chance for problems because they are most likely not tested for compatibility among each other but just with the game.