So here is my review and impressions from the game :

Why does people feel the game is punishing at all?
The most obvious answers are :
- They want everything to be perfect (which by design isn't possible)
- They want to be self-sufficient (which by design isn't possible until the game is won)
- They crumble because of the mass of information leading them to think : I could have done better (directly linked to previous point)

Why I don't think the game is punishing, or even remotly losable :
- Ressources are plenty (except on one very exception where I was on a 6 hex peninsula blocked by another kingdom).
- As long as you have wood, and a river, the game is won (traders are really powerfull)
- Food is irrelevant (ty caravan for providing me with 50 turn of food every 18 turns on average)
- NOBODY CAN WIN BEFORE YOU DO !!! :
that's the major issue I have toward the game, it being assymetric is a good thing, but those kingdoms can't stop you from winning... they can crush you if you are greedy (attacking you) but you also can relocate anytime if you spot such kingdom (often marked as being agressive, lunatic etc...), and what's more, they have no way to win the game. Romans can't win the game either... What's left? abandonning due to the feeling things could have been done better (and they always can).

On the plus side, the game is complex, and gives you a feel of urgency, the winter feels harsh and so on... but not if you take into account the caravan, which I advise player should upgrade anytime they can, just to get cut stone ASAP to start production chain of cut stones (wood to coal into 2 brick makers). Indeed the caravan gives one kingdom more food that it can ever NEED (without food prod, I had 200 turns of excess food by the third winter, and didn't even bought all that was available). The game simply wants you to teach you patience, since whenever the game is launched, it is won. And patience is a good thing.

But since impatience, and critic, is a thing, here are questions/ suggestions:
- Why in a kingdom of 20+ clans, can't I train more than one clan at a time?
- Why is there no jobs to provide a second or third training slot?
- Why is the Roman empire, on the verge of crumble, always giving me gifts even though I'm a tribe, or small kingdom, of barbarians?
- Why doesn't Romans asks ME for tributes, unleashing wrath then Legions, should I refuse ? and reinforcing themselves should I comply.
- Why is there no way to trade maps with "neutral" kingdoms?... because there is no diplomacy, I can't even bully weaker kingdoms into submission by the late game. (and believe me, 16+ families of a knight clan fully upgraded is a power house (around 400 power with some equipment upgrades))
- Why is this game not an Early Access game with a price tag of 15-20€ until it's completed, where it will value his 30?

Don't get me wrong, the basics of the game are good, and I can feel a really good potential from it, as it stands though, I can barely recommend buying it so high. Because if I want to launch a game with no risk involved, I might as well go play a light visual novel. If I want a complex and full "grow your settlement" experience, I'll go play Thea : the awakening (or even the second one, in EA for 25€ with background inside it) and if I want a true 4X competitive experience I'll go play some civ or Endless legend.