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There are actually no lawfully-binding regulations regarding game censorship or purchase restrictions because games are art. It falls entirely upon children's legal guardians to police the artistic content they consume. For example, it's actually legal to take your child(ren) to a museum that has nude artwork. I started going to art museums in my early teens and saw stuff like that, and no one said a word because I was with my parents. There was no cop at the door preventing anyone under 18 from getting in.
Purchase... it is legally binding for purchase (At least in the US). Anything beyond that does not require verification. Such as an adult purchasing an R rated movie, it is the adults responsibility to keep it out of the hands of their children. Same thing with Games via Steam. So absolutely children are bound by the ESRB when it comes to purchasing.
No, the age gates are not verification.
Credit Card... Bank Account... Paypal
They do require id verification at some point... which equals verification for Steam.
As a kid, I had no problem getting games with ratings outside of my age rating just by showing up to Gamestop with a parent. The clerk knew perfectly well that my mom wouldn't be playing that copy of Max Payne 2.
Edit: speaking strictly about the US here.
Valve/Steam does not know who is purchasing the game since there is no age verification on Steam.
It is an adults responsibility to guard their account just like having alcohol, guns, movies and games on disc, ect.
Perhaps it is by State then, because it is in South Dakota. Having a parent with you and paying for it also... is not the same as showing up alone and paying for it. Stores - Movie theaters ect have always been strict on it. Although I will say there were not any Police Stings like they do for alcohol/cigarette purchases, but it's been pretty hardline for ID for explicit lyrics when I went to buy a cd or R Rated movie or Mature rated game.
You like to go in circles... perhaps chasing your tail?
Which goes back to... Payment account is verified ID
Stores could sell M games to you as a kid and not get in trouble, they just choose not to.