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Not Friends.
That's your problem right there. Steam Families is intended solely for real families living in same household. Not friends, strangers, cousins, uncles or any other relative not living in your household. Sharing with anyone other than your direct family living with you in same household is abusing the system. No if's and no but's.
If you used the system as intended, you could simply walk to next room and ask your family member to get off your game so you can play.
Just walk over to next room to your your family member who's playing and ask them politely stop playing your game and let you play instead. If politeness does not work, simply shut down they computer or pull the plug then go private the game from your computer. Problem solved.