Right you are.

Confucius say: Man's wife, his better half. His mistress, his better whole.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Megasoreass

I could say some better, raunchier stuff than OP, but then I'd get banned....

A shame, huh?

I know the other dinosaur but am scared to say it.

Originally posted by Breathe:

I heard one the other day about the sun, white people and immigrants but i don't think this forum could take it.

Pssst, you could tell me on the comments section.

I have plenty but i will get banned.

This is one my dad told me and it's really old like 50 to 60 years old.

Why don't they let dogs and cats in the white house.

Cause they will pee on the bush and chase the quail.

Originally posted by ghost:

This is one my dad told me and it's really old like 50 to 60 years old.

Why don't they let dogs and cats in the white house.

Cause they will pee on the bush and chase the quail.

Bush and Quayle weren't president that long ago. =P

Why don't the Chinese gamble?
Because they hate Tibet.

https://youtu.be/OvAAmA_QVE4?si=XoAYO-xCp4p653yd

Originally posted by Holding These Alligators Down:

Why don't the Chinese gamble?
Because they hate Tibet.

Nice Black Rain pfp.

Originally posted by Falco:

Originally posted by Holding These Alligators Down:

Why don't the Chinese gamble?
Because they hate Tibet.

Nice Black Rain pfp.

Cheers

Great jokes yall! Feel free to share whatever dings that funny bone.

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his her in a remote mountainous pasture in California. In the distance, he noticed a cloud of dust advancing toward him and soon the culprit appeared too, a brand new BMW. The driver stopped the vehicle and got out.

Wearing a brand new suit, Gucci shoes, Rayband shades, and YSL tie, he asked the cowboy, "If I tell you how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd, and casually replies, "Sure, why not?"

The driver proceeds to pull out his Dell notebook, connects it to his iPhone 16 cellular hotspot service, and surfs to a NASA page on the net, where he, logs in and calls a GPS satellite to get an exact fix to his location, which he then feeds to another satellite, that scans the area with an ultra high resolution camera lens. The young man then downloads that data and opens it with Adobe Photoshop and exports it and attaches it to an email and sends it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds he receives a email on his iPhone, that the image has been processed and the data stored. he then accesses an msql database through and odbc connected Excel spreadsheet and after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full color 150 page report on his high tech mobile laser jet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,186 cows and calves."

"That's right." say Bud, "Well, I guess you can take one of my calves."

He watches with amusement, as the young man selects one of the animals and proceeds to stuff it in the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "If i can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and says, "Ok, why not?"

"You're a congressman for the US government," says Bud.

"Wow, that is correct!" says the you man, "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You showed up here, even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter you are than i am. You don't know a thing about how working people make a living, or about cows for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

edit: here's the vid version
https://youtu.be/bKzDze24Vp8?si=SM4O02SM3PWMKB6a

My son asked me what it's like to be married.

So I told him, "Leave me alone.
And when he did, I said, "Why are you ignoring me?


An invisible man married an invisible woman...
The kids were nothing to look at either