I miss when reviews were about games.

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Hestia 14 hours ago

I miss when reviews were about games.

I didn’t expect this game to hurt me emotionally. But I also didn’t expect Steam reviews to become a circus.

Let me guess the top review you’ll see here:
"haha monkey button go brrr 🤪💥" – 47 awards.
Nice. That really tells me whether the gameplay is good.

I played this game for 90+ hours. I learned the systems. I actually cared about what was happening. Then I checked the reviews, hoping someone else had thoughts deeper than a soup spoon.

Nope. Just memes. Wall-to-wall memes.
Steam used to be a place where reviews gave insight. Now it’s a competition to see who can say the dumbest sentence and still get a ‘Wholesome’ award.

And yet… here I am. Writing this. Hoping mine floats to the top.
Because I’m just as empty. Just as reward-starved. Just as doomed to scream into the void.

So here’s my “review”:

Game is fun if you're emotionally available.

Music hits like a childhood memory you forgot you missed.

9/10. I took one point off because I can’t take a point off my life.

Please give me an award. I’ll use it to buy a sticker that says “I tried.” (made by ai lol(my ai so depressed))

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Showing 1-13 of 13 comments

Midori 13 hours ago

Feels like most things have been boiled down to a "say the most relatable funny witty one liner"

Off topic reviews used to get banned and removed but now they're pretty much rewarded

Talby 13 hours ago

Agree the level of activism is annoyingly at "11" now, more difficult to tune out but not impossible.

St✩rlight 13 hours ago

Yeah. "I'll eat a spoon of mayo for every upvote".

Raz 13 hours ago

Most reviews these days are just stupid youtube level political crusades. "We must honor artistic integrity by review bombing and telling the devs we don't like their game because it's woke or something."

Nülliflower 13 hours ago

what game are you talking about? i want my forgotten childhood memories to hit me like a high speed cannonball too.

Jazz 13 hours ago

steam reviews have always been ♥♥♥♥.
although the addition of the awards system has certainly made it even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, i'll give you that

Last edited by Jazz; 13 hours ago

Hestia 12 hours ago

Originally posted by Nülliflower:
what game are you talking about? i want my forgotten childhood memories to hit me like a high speed cannonball too.

Honestly, it’s less about one specific game and more about that feeling you get from any childhood favorite like a sudden rush of memories you didn’t even know you missed but honestly doom games

Xero_Daxter 12 hours ago

Originally posted by Jazz:
steam reviews have always been ♥♥♥♥.
although the addition of the awards system has certainly made it even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, i'll give you that

The award system shouldn’t have been a thing. We should still have steam points but it shouldn’t be given out. It makes other people troll to get points. Steam is basically “enabling” people.

Ruckman_Void 11 hours ago

Reviews filled with peoples' personal memories
They call it, "Nostalgia"
Why not stop at that
I don't want your full memories in a GAME REVIEW

I want a review of the game.

I downvote those ones, hoping it will bump them down or something

I also downvote "Reviews" that say, "Good game" "Mad fun" "meh" "It's sh!t", That also, is not a Review

I also downvote "Reviews" that rant on a political topic or some gripe with the dev or publisher. Mention it, sure, but then REVIEW THE GAME

I know my downvoting is futile
But futility never stopped anybody from throwing rocks at a tank when that's all they had left

OP has touched a raw nerve here, heheh

↑↑↓↓←→←→BASelect 11 hours ago

I don't even read steam reviews anymore.

#10

smokerob79 10 hours ago

Originally posted by Hestia:
I didn’t expect this game to hurt me emotionally. But I also didn’t expect Steam reviews to become a circus.

Let me guess the top review you’ll see here:
"haha monkey button go brrr 🤪💥" – 47 awards.
Nice. That really tells me whether the gameplay is good.

I played this game for 90+ hours. I learned the systems. I actually cared about what was happening. Then I checked the reviews, hoping someone else had thoughts deeper than a soup spoon.

Nope. Just memes. Wall-to-wall memes.
Steam used to be a place where reviews gave insight. Now it’s a competition to see who can say the dumbest sentence and still get a ‘Wholesome’ award.

And yet… here I am. Writing this. Hoping mine floats to the top.
Because I’m just as empty. Just as reward-starved. Just as doomed to scream into the void.

So here’s my “review”:

Game is fun if you're emotionally available.

Music hits like a childhood memory you forgot you missed.

9/10. I took one point off because I can’t take a point off my life.

Please give me an award. I’ll use it to buy a sticker that says “I tried.” (made by ai lol(my ai so depressed))

been here since half life 2 dropped.....what you speak of is pure delusions and drivel.....steaming pile has never been a place for real thought

#11

Abaddon the Despoiler 10 hours ago

Originally posted by Raz:
Most reviews these days are just stupid youtube level political crusades. "We must honor artistic integrity by review bombing and telling the devs we don't like their game because it's woke or something."

I don't see why the hate for review bombing. If a game gets crappy reviews, it's because most people think it's a crappy game. If it gets review bombed because it is woke, it just shows that the majority of people don't want woke games. If the majority of people like the game, it will get good reviews. Game Devs need to learn that if they want to sell their game to the majority, it has to be something the majority wants.

Last edited by Abaddon the Despoiler; 10 hours ago

#12

Doctor Go-Go 9 hours ago

I haven't read one of these game reviews for over a decade. Probably skimmed a few within the past two decades. BUT yes, have the reviews been reduced to bare minimum contribution for some credit and reward rather than in depth expression of how much the reviewer likes the game and why? Have the reviews been cleverly rigged to collect more reviews as well as more positive? I'm SHOCKED!

#13

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Date Posted: 10 Jul @ 6:02am

Posts: 13

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