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Sometimes manipulation can happen unconsciously, but if the person is highly intelligent, they may do it subtly and skillfully - almost without being noticed. This is more commonly seen in narcissists and individuals with dark triad traits, such as psychopathy and Machiavellianism. The most common tactics include playing the victim, shifting blame, emotional manipulation, double standards, gaslighting, and devaluation.
People need lies and manipulation to go about their miserable lives daily. They don't want to be stirred or upset or god forbid, shaken out of their established routine and the strict confines of the 5 senses.
Read the ancient philosophers' wisdom or what has been preserved of it thereof and simply forget the ugly, the bad, the false and the fake!
Well In any case, you need to have some degree of influence to begin with - and you have none if you can be easily replaced by someone else.
The best leader is someone people willingly follow and collaborate with - not because they have to, but because they want to
there is a difference between well presented and taking care of yourself
and being real to who you are
as apposed to
present something you are not... and applying for jobs or
getting into relationships and situations you are not suited for
but ya know... the world is full of shifty shonky and shady
There is a difference between being
- manipulative
- adaptive
- dishonest
- polite
- (insert your own ideas here)
- and all the things your education, instincts and stomach feelings make you do
Nothing is as simple as your question suggests.
Nothing EVER is.
But once you get past the baby stages of life, you ideally develop a sense of morality, a sense of values that exist beyond mere wants and needs of the individual. You start thinking beyond your own shadow and rightfully-so; this isn't your world, it never was.