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EDIT : My router supports NAT loopback. (I can access to local hosts using my external IP address inside my network)
It allowing you to connect to the lobby leader also seems weird, logically it should give you your external address to connect to, and not work. It might do some black magic to bridge NATted hosts, the same way that using a local server lets the rest of the players connect to the leader without having to forward ports.
You also might need to have "+ip 192.168.0.1" on the server command line for everything to work correctly.
I changed this option:
NAT Filtering
X Secured
Open
to
NAT Filtering
Secured
X Open
And problem solved. I can now be the first to join. Weird though why this option prevents me from joining only as first player but works if I'm not...
What the manual says:
Thanks for your warning about NAT!
That setting looks like it's made to replace explicit port forwarding by guessing which computer the traffic is for, if it's advanced enough maybe it can route your traffic to the server after it has seen connections to it. It could let incoming attacks through as well, so make sure the firewalls on your computers are working.