Banned for operating a drug ring at your grandma's funeral

Jonathan Fucker: Hello I am Jonathan Fucker here with Cunt Nut News at the head of the Presidential Poop Debate between Michael Reddit and Dick Assfuck.

Michael Reddit: How are we doing today, Jon?

Dick Assfuck: Oh god I am so fucking hard right now

Jonathan Fucker: Your first question is "To give a shit or to give a crap?"

Michael Reddit: Holy cr*ud! Those are no-no words! You can't say that!

Dick Assfuck: Your honor, my client is a minor

Michael Reddit: Nuh-uh

Dick Assfuck: Yuh-uh

Dick Assfuck Jr.: Dad, what's a minor?

Dick Assfuck: It's a person, unlike yourself.

Michael Reddit: I stand neutral between the two sides because both sides are cruel and evil and go to h#&k!

Dick Assfuck: Holy shit um I don't give any shits so no crap for me.

Jonathan Fucker: "Do you consider yourself to be a dog person or a cat person?"

Michael Reddit: Dog.

Dick Assfuck: Respectfully, I am a human, I don't do furries

Jonathan Fucker: Your pronouns are rub/adub

Dick Assfuck: Dub

Michael Reddit: I go by he/he because that made me chuckle. NOT!

Jonathan Fucker: Next question, "What does the Big Mac qualify as?"

Dick Assfuck: Not expensive enough

Michael Reddit: A cake

Jonathan Fucker: "Should you be allowed to have gay sex?"

Michael Reddit: No amount of sex should be fun, even if homosexuals are involved

Dr. Eggman: Mwahahahahaha, Sondic is circumcised now!

Dick Assfuck: All twinks and fags belong to me, everyone else can deal with gross straight sex

Jonathan Fucker: Holy shit, that's like Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name!

Dr. Eggman: There's not enough gay porn of me, you know what to do chat

Jonathan Fucker: "Scat, yay or nay?"

Michael Reddit: Michael Reddit

Dick Assfuck: Give me thirty seconds of shit on me and mmmmmmmmmm let's just say horses won't have four legs anymore

Jonathan Fucker: "What is the most fuckable fruit?"

Michael Reddit: Apples

Dick Assfuck: Apples

Jonathan Fucker: Okay, explain why?

Michael Reddit: Sandy cock vore

Dick Assfuck: Because he's mysterious

Jonathan Fucker: Sir, they went woke, they're a pronoun now

Dick Assfuck: This is why the left aren't on the right side of history

Jonathan Fucker: "Why should you be president of shit?"

Jonathan Fucker: I am the worst candidate, find me on Soundcloud @ shi77yd1ck

Michael Reddit: The economy is inflated like my favorite hecking chonker Garfeld

Dick Assfuck: Inflation, you say?

Michael Reddit: No, I said, "Your mom so stupid, she"

Dick Assfuck: I am dedicated to being the number one pisser in a world full of shit

Jonathan Fucker: Once again, I am Jonathan Fucker with Cunt Nut News, and thank you for watching



Author's Note: I am off my antidepressants

Originally posted by Phreya™:

Wait, you're in my friendslist, but who are you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLiCHIrXTjA

Yes.

I did bring plague upon y'all :D

Originally posted by Chewy 🐀:

Holy shit hi babe I missed you

I missed you too

Checking in, I am currently alive April 3st Two Thousand Twenty Three

Of course the boyfriend announcement devolves into this

I have a boyfriend now