titties

Arby's: we beat our meat!

every night when my family is asleep, i grab my teddy bear covered in cumstains and grab my phone, i open xvideos and search up "big man has big pp touch" I watch and watch and then i blow my little cummies. And after i blow em, i put in a cup and spalsh it on my dog, i open my butthole and my doggy woggy sticks his pp in me, it hurts so good. and after that i beat my grabndma to a fucking pulp, when shes lying on the ground in immense pain she screams "HEALAP HAELAP ME" so i beat her the fuck up agai n and then blow more cummies on her fucking corpse, and then i make a homemade bomb out of a hamster and a whale penis, then i blow up my local bank and then fucking shoot myself.

Wait, michelle or barrack?

>be me
>1st grade, september 11th 2001
>bein a tard like usual it's 7:30
>eatin my snack early, beatin meat, life's good
>teacher barges in
>she yells "PUT ON THE NEWS!"
>she puts on news
>north tower is burning
>think "OH COOL FIRE!"
>teacher screams
>b1tch what
>we all go home cuz idk why
>mom is crying
>ask why
>"your dad died"
>i hated that asshole anyway
>fake cry

ty terrorists for makin school end early and killing my dad 18 years ago

ad victoriam

>be me
>le 3 days ago
>fappidy dappidy to some S W E E T hentai
>my brain demands sweeter
>find a 15 min long %100
>click it
>orgasmatron
>gf walks in
>this will go one of two ways
>make it go zero out of either thanks to autism
>yell "BEGONE THOT"
>she stares in a daze at me
is time travel real bots?
lost my gf to autism
7/10 would not try autism again

>be me
>on youtube
>watch some MxR, Daily Dose of Internet, etc.
>go to recommended feed
>see a poorly animated johnny johnny video
>ICan'tHelpIt.avi
>click on it
>beginning is normal
>later a second one
>Little johnny boi walkin through the hall
>moaning ambience starts faintly playing
>dis shit gonn be gud
>the sorry excuse for a child opens the door
>parents are attempting at making clones of themselves
>"Johnny, Johnny"
>"yes, papa"
>"watching us?"
>"yes, papa"
>shit turns for the worse
>nigga gets murdered
>Jesus christ
>who watches these things
>it has over 13 mil views
>mfw

I sold them seperately

Originally posted by IDKBacon(ILY Dad):

Originally posted by TheRamenLegion:

yes

Expelled for one card... Oof

not one card... multiple