The Industrialist
Class: Scout
Slot: Primary
Basis: Scattergun
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=636601370&searchtext=Industrialist
(+) Collect (up to 4) "Parts" on kill. Each part increases bullet damage resistance by +5% and explosive damage resistance by +8%.
(-) 15% Slower movement speed on wearer
(-) 25% Less healing from medics on wearer
(-) 34% Smaller clip size

The Spontaneous Combustion
Class: Pyro
Slot: Primary
Basis: Flame Thrower
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=741236065&searchtext=
(+) On kill with ignite, enemy explodes dealing normal explosive damage and igniting enemies.
(+/-) Reflected projectiles no longer mini-crit but ignite.
(+/-) Ignite: 50% Shorter afterburn duration but 33% increased afterburn damage.
(-) 20% Direct damage penalty

The Tesla Shocker 5000
Class: Scout
Slot: Primary
Basis: Scattergun
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=654676119&searchtext=
(+) Does not require ammo
(+) Close ranged hits create an electrical surge from your body. (Being somewhat similar to the Huo-Long Heater, it will instead) Deal 30 damage and reduce enemy movement speed by 20%.
(-) Hidden: 33% Smaller clip size
(-) Deals only 20% damage to buildings
(-) 10% Slower movement speed while this weapon is active

The Rising Tide
Class: Sniper
Slot: Melee
Basis: Kukri
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=264302953&searchtext=
When this weapon is active:
(+) Based on (long) distance covered, your next attack(s) will deal up to +20% more damage. (If used with the SMG, it will damage boost the whole clip.) Once holstered, the current damage buff cannot be increased until it's used.
(-) -4 health per second on wearer when this weapon isn't active for 3 seconds
(-) Marked for death. Having damage or no damage stored will still make the mark duration as long as it takes to use your next attack(s).

The Bouncing Betty
Class: Demoman
Slot: Primary
Basis: Grenade Launcher
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1096115995&searchtext=
(+) On hit, knock-up the enemy into the air
(+) Mini-crits targets launched airborne by explosions, grapple hooks or enemy attacks
(+) 30% Faster projectile speed
(-) 20% Slower firing speed
(-) 25% Smaller clip size

The Trench Torcherer
Class: Pyro
Slot: Primary
Basis: Flamethrower
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=93438747&searchtext=
(+/-) Afterburn reduces healing from all sources by 90% for x seconds. (Every direct hit = +0.5 seconds)
(+/-) Afterburn duration is determined by x seconds (Every direct hit = +0.5 seconds)
(-) 15% Direct damage penalty
(-) Cannot airblast

"the Frontier Justice's "Revenge" critical hits will not deal any additional damage if the Engineer is ÜberCharged by a Kritzkrieg, nor will a player marked for death and coated in Jarate suffer more than standard mini-crits. This means that team co-ordination is required if multiple players have ways to increase their critical hit output, or extra damage will be wasted. The base critical hit chance for standard weapons is 2%. This is modified by a bonus percentage based on how much damage the player has done in the last 20 seconds, which scales from 0% at 0 damage to 10% at 800 damage."

Why is it a problem (you ask)?:

•If you die to a real random crit, sucks to be you. You cried about a 2% chance to Possibly instally die which probably won't happen again in a long time.

•If you died to a random crit, it probably wasn't the 2% that got you but rather the damage that one person did a whopping 800 damage to most of your team within 20 seconds or less.

•When has someone complained about a crit? You must be a real child to get randomly crit in one game once or twice or maybe even not at all to then complain again 10 or more games later.

•Random crits are a sign of weakness. Almost all 2% random crits come in situations that barely even happen like spamming at an entrance. The highest real percentage of getting randomly crit in a 1v1 scenario is 7.625% and that's against a fully overhealed heavy....

•There are weapons that counteract random crits or crits in general if you really do hate them such as: The Vaccinator, Battalion's Backup, any sort of invulnerability or good damage reduction buff like The Fists of Steel, and etc.

•Who thought of the petition or voting anyway? If they really are nor balanced or fun then they wouldn't mess with the darn thing. Turning this effect off will cause many TF2 Valve weapons to be practically buffed and debuffed. Examples show: Any Demoman Sword, The Cowmangler 5000, Market Gardener, Backburner, Phlogistonator, Mannmelter, Axetinguisher, Neon Annihilator.... Do I need to go on?! Every other weapon that doesn't have "no random critical hits" is debuffed.

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=442433534
The Little Choppy
"How much blood can a maniac spill spill spill?"
Class: Pyro
Slot: Melee
Basis: Fire Axe
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=692177293
(+) 25% Faster swing speed
(+) Critical hits land easier (+33% Increased random crit chance) when struck from the front side.
(-) 20% Damage penalty

Melf's Magic Potion
"Who knows what the contents of a potion are.... Wanna find out?"
Class: Sniper
Slot: Secondary
Basis: Jarate w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=480957345
(+/-) Drench your enemies or yourself in a mysterious liquid. Teammates hit will have their base damage increased by 15%. Enemies hit will have their overall damage reduced by 15%. (Can stack)
(-) Cannot extinguish teammates.
(-) 25% Shorter duration

The Stylish Stiletto
"If you ever get caught, you might as well fight to the death!"
Class: Spy
Slot: Melee
Basis: Knife
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=177766018
(+) 15% Damage bonus
(+) +20% Melee damage resistance on wearer
(+/-) This weapon has a longer melee range but deploys and holsters slower.
(-) 40% Slower cloak rate
(-) 20% Slower decloak rate

The Bierkrieg
"Guten tag my friiiennnds!"
Class: Medic
Slot: Melee
Basis: Bonesaw
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=692174720
(+) Alt-Fire: Buff up your teammates with a good ol' cheers! All teammates within the radius of the effect will gain +30 max health for 10 seconds and heal back their missing health. (1st effect can't stack and Must 450 damage to use)
(-) 25% Damage penalty
(-) No random critical hits

The Bierkrieg (V.2)
"Guten tag my friiiennnds!"
Class: Medic
Slot: Melee
Basis: Bonesaw
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=692174720
(+) Alt-Fire: With enough damage stored, buff a random ally nearby within 150 units. The buffed player will gain 100% crits for 4 seconds. (Must deal 450 damage to use)
(-) 20% Damage penalty

The Morning Star
"Wake up! It's time go get clobberin'!"
Class: Multi-Class
Slot: Melee
Basis: Multi-Class Melee
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=692176535
(+) Creates knockback on hit. Knockback may increase by x% equal to x% of any damage bonus
(+) Upon respawn, gain a speed boost for several seconds
(-) No random critical hits
(-) 25% Slower swing speed

The Blacksmith (Optional)
"With every kingdom, there is a blacksmith. With every blacksmith, there is a hammer...."
Class: Engineer
Slot: Melee
Basis: Wrench
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=692175476
(+) On kill, store an "Upgrade". When ready, press alt-fire to drop a Strength powerup for pickup. If the holder dies with the it, it will reset. Can only have up to 2 Upgrades at a time and active. (Means if 2 players still have this powerup, you may not generate a third or even have one stored.)
(-) Disables buildings
(-) 25% Damage penalty
(-) No random critical hits

The King Slayer
"Only the worthy have the honor of killing a king...."
Class: Soldier
Slot: Melee
Basis: Shovel
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=500454514
(+) +20% Longer buff durations while this weapon is active
(+) 40% Faster buff charging speed while this weapon is active
(+) On kill, mark as your target. Your target will be dealt bonus damage as mini-crits by you.
(-) -25 Max health on wearer

The Morality Booster
"Only may a strong king lead to a strong army...."
Class: Soldier
Slot: Secondary
Basis: Any Banner w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=500451338
(+/-) Boost the morale in your troops. For every teammate within the radius will increase your max health by +15. 1/3 of max health gained will also go to your teammates within the radius.

The Field Runner
"Keep moving even when losing and the battle will rage on...."
Class: Soldier
Slot: Secondary
Basis: Manntreads w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=500456318
(+/-) Nearby teammates within 450 units will gain +10% increased movement speed and immunity to random critical hits. (Effect does not apply to you and cannot stack)

The Frisk Dirk
"What takes times will end up finished."
Class: Spy
Slot: Melee
Basis: Knife
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=500459144
When this weapon is active:
(+) Gain a speed boost
(+) 30% Faster decloak rate
(-) 60% Shorter cloak duration
(-) On kill, gain a 25% slower movement speed debuff

The Paladin's Platebreaker
"Armor looks good on you but will be nasty for them...."
Class: Demoman
Slot: Melee
Basis: Scotsman's Skullcutter w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=339007708
(+) Ignores melee damage resistance
(+) Any damage resistance on an enemy will be disabled for 10 seconds on hit.
(+/-) This weapon has a larger melee range but holsters and deploys slower.
(-) No random critical hits
(-) 25% Slower swing speed

The Brawler's Bulwark
"How can you block with a shield that's not even the size of me own goat?!"
Class: Demoman
Slot: Secondary
Basis: Any Shield w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=136450272
(+/-) Alt-Fire: Fortify your defenses, providing a battalion's backup boost to all teammates within 450 units (Does not apply to you) and stops you from moving. Press alt-fire again to disable this effect. (3 Second Cooldown)

The Barbarian Basher
"Can you tell me when a push becomes a shove...? When in the heat of battle!"
Class: Pyro
Slot: Melee
Basis: Fire Axe
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=229493406
(+) 100% Mini-crits vs. Burning Players
(+) Generate "Rage" by taking 70 damage. When your Rage meter is full, press Alt-Fire to knockback the enemies in front of you while igniting them for 4 seconds with your shield.
(-) -25 Max health on wearer

The Musketeer's Fencer
"A duelist's greatest remark is it to not be fair, but make sure it is indeed a duel."
Class: Demoman
Slot: Melee
Basis: Bottle
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=102008281
(+) 25% Faster movement speed while this weapon is active
(+/-) This weapon has a longer melee range but holsters and deploys slower.
(+/-) On hit, mark your target for challenged. (This mark doesn't expire and is interchangeable by hitting a different enemy.) Successfully killing the marked will fully restore and overheal your health. While the mark is active, other enemies will deal 15% increased damage to you.
(-) 20% Damage penalty

The Dullahan Sword
"There tells a curse of a beheaded knight and with the curse of being undead...."
Class: Demoman
Slot: Melee
Basis: Any Sword w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=31
(+) 25% Faster movement speed on wearer while this weapon is active
(+/-) This weapon has a longer melee range but holsters and deploys slower.
(+/-) More kills empowers your curse, making your head slightly less more visible and increasing your damage by +10% up to a maximum of 60%.
(-) -25 Max health on wearer
(-) 25% Slower swing speed

The Sorcerer's Scepter
"Magic was never real. It was just an hallucination created by a mastermind...."
Class: Medic
Slot: Melee
Basis: Bonesaw
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=397599145
When this weapon is active:
(+) All nearby allies within 450 units gain +3 consistent health regen and +15 Max health.
(-) 25% Damage penalty
(-) No self health regen

Merlin's Malady
"Merlin's alchemy was bloody beautiful! It's shame he'll miss em'...."
Class: Sniper
Slot: Secondary
Basis: Jarate w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=388
(+/-) Can be used to extinguish teammates
(+/-) Coat enemies in a mysterious liquid, causing enemies to be polymorphed as a small object and rendering them disabled, 50% less max health and movement speed for several seconds.
(-) 30% Smaller splash radius

The Hewer's Hatchet
"What Mann would possibly use a hatchet to fight? It's to secure the kill...."
Class: Sniper
Slot: Melee
Basis: Kukri
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=387
(+) On hit, slow down the enemy by 25%.
(+/-) On miss, hit yourself. Idiot.
(-) 25% Slower swing speed
(-) No random critical hits

The Gardener's Fourden
"Tools were never meant for war. They were a sign of peace...."
Class: Pyro
Slot: Melee
Basis: Fire Axe
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=270884183
(+) Nearby teammates that also have this weapon active within 300 units will increase your movement speed and damage resistance by +5% up to a maximum of 25%.
(-) 20% Damage penalty
(-) 15% Slower swing speed

The Doombringer
"When people die, they turn into souls in which the reapers reap...."
Class: Pyro
Slot: Melee
Basis: Fire Axe
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=91364519
(+) On kill, collect their soul. Press Alt-Fire to reap the stored souls, marking x enemies (= x souls) for death within 600 units. Dying with stored souls still marks them for death but only uses 50% of the souls reaped (rounded up).
(-) -15 Max health on wearer
(-) No random critical hits

The Mighty Steed
"Usually you'd stick a flag but this one had a dark past...."
Class: Pyro
Slot: Melee
Basis: Fire Axe
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=708125710
When this weapon is active:
(+) +10% Faster movement speed on wearer
(+) +60% Increased jump height on wearer
(+) Alt-Fire: Charge at your enemy for a second, dealing 35 damage and a 50% larger than normal knockback.
(-) Become marked for death. (You're still marked for death several seconds after holstering.)
(-) 30% Damage penalty

The Double Beheader
"A classic... If you're just plain bored...."
Class: Scout
Slot: Secondary
Basis: The Flying Guillotine w/ No Stats
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=295194846
(+) Long distance hits cause mini-crits
(+) Can headshot
(+) Throw at your enemies to restore health! Heals for 60% of the damage dealt.
(-) No random critical hits
(-) 40% Slower recharge rate

Originally posted by Ducky Quackington:

Originally posted by kevin.berwick:

snip

Okay, for a joke, that is too big.

Oh ye?

The Grim Charger
Class: Soldier
Slot: Melee
Basis: Shovel
Model:
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=771675367&searchtext=
(+) Each weapon out of ammo in its clip will increase your movement speed by 33% while this weapon is active.
(+) 90% Decreased knockback push force while this weapon is active
(-) 40% Smaller primary max ammo capacity on wearer
(-) 66% Smaller secondary max ammo capacity on wearer
(-) Become marked for death while this weapon is active (Mark lasts for several seconds after unequipping)