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Well, it depends on seller's rules. In most cases, they prefer to get payment as a gift.
What is "the job" of a middleman? Do I transfer the money to the middleman (and he gives it to the person in question)?
No, a middleman will never take any money from you. You can use a middleman when someone wants you to go first with the payment and you are not sure if you get items that you will pay for.
Can I add a middleman whenever I want or does we have to make "an appointment"?
You can add a middleman every time you want, but some people can say that they do not want to use a middleman. Then it is up to you if you want to proceed the trade or not.
Can I buy items for money when I don't have any references ? I suppose that rep on my steampage doesn't count.
Every reputation posted on Steam profiles is useless - Do not care about any reputation comments posted on Steam profiles. You need to find a seller who is happy selling items to people without reputation.
Got another issue : when the deal went well, the seller can always chargeback the money from Paypall ?
Do you really mean the seller?
The buyer can:
a) open a dispute when he/she did not receive anything at all or it was significantly different than described - within 45 days
b) report an unauthorized transaction - within 60 days