Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "T H I S B I G," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

[Explosion sounds] That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!