Jambo, my name is Chad Jomo-Gbomo.
I'm a 27 year old American Bruddah (African enthusiast). I draw poverty and disease on my tablet, and spend my days not eating and experiencing health defects (diarrhea, starvation, AIDS).
I train with my sharpened twig every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through a wet tissue because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my twig license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak Swahili fluently, both the Hibbity and the Bibbity accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about African history and their complete disregard for civilized life, which I follow 100%

When I get my African visa, I am moving to the Republic of the Congo to not attend a prestigious High School and learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a dirty water collector, or a diseased ridden youth!
I own several loin cloths, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Africa, so I can fit in easier. I have unprotected intercourse with my elders and seniors and speak Swahili as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in Africa!

I own a Gladius for home defense since that’s what Jupiter intended.
Four barbarians break in to my house.
“Quid Diabolus?!”
I grab my gladius and pilum.
With a mighty throw, I skewer the first man, he’s dead on the spot.
Chuck my pugio at the second and miss because it’s not built to be thrown and nails neighbor Gaius’ goat.
I have to resort to the onager mounted on top of the stairs. ”Roma in aeternum!”
The loud smack of the throwing arm disturbs the slumber of Gaius’ mother, who’s incessant nagging reverts the third barbarian to a child-like state.
Draw my gladius and charge the last terrified savage.
He bleeds out waiting for his crucifixion because the broad blade leaves terrible lacerations to his internal organs.
Just as Jupiter intended.

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gay

I am the ♥♥♥♥♥ of my hood
Stealing is ma hobby, assaultin is my job
I have ♥♥♥♥♥ over a thousand hoes
Unknown to da Cops, Nor known to da Law
Have withstood pain to rob many homes
Yet, deez hands will never hold anytin
So as I rap, unlimited water melons

I think that if I had to characterize my RPG morality. It'd probably be "evil crazy guy" or "chaotic neutral" to put it on a scale, and that I wouldn't deliberately kill people, but I also definitely wouldn't care if the building I knocked over or the forest I burned down ended up killing innocent passersby because he'd be too busy trying to conquer a country that doesn't exist.

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▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ This is a tank.
Il███████████████████].
◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤

-Horatio,your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ son took the virginity of my daughter!

-Don't worry...

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

-He won't do it again.

YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I don't. What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. It's like attending someone else's trial, then outing yourself as a sexual predator by masturbating onto the jury.

Gar - A term used towards male characters and individuals who are so overwhelmingly manly that your own masculinity is absolutely *buried*, leaving you naught but a whimpering, swooning girl-child before them.

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Superman dat hoe means to ejaculate on a girl's back and use the semen to stick a sheet to her back like a cape.

What the ♥♥♥♥ did you think it meant?

New definition: "It's a team game man" - A saying that to most (People with Intelligence) would imply that teamwork is required to complete an objective. This however, somehow translates to people of lesser intelligence (Idiots - not just regular idiots, I mean ♥♥♥♥-for-brains retarded people who cant tell the difference between mud and a steak) that their dying is somehow beneficial not only to their own team, but also somehow negatively impacts the opposing team. When one of these "idiots" is questioned, they simply reply "It's a team game man!", followed shortly by "Man, he's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OP!", and concluded with "It's your fault so STFU!"

♥♥♥♥ For Brains Retarded - SFBR
Person With Intelligence - PWI

Example 1: SFBR - "Man this guy keeps killing me! He's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OP! Now he only kills me in one ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hit!"

PWI - "Well have you considered not feeding him and just standing by the turret?"

SFBR - "It's a team game man, why don't you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ do something! You're useless!"

Halo -
1. Without this game most guys would spend most of their time masturbating
2. Code word: group, all male, masturbating.
3. Electronic circle jerk, multiguy mission.
1. Pedro, come over we're gonna play Halo.
--Okay I'll bring the tissues.

World of Warcraft - The world's most effective form of birth control. Sex, career, friends, money and power. All of these things are just distractions trying to pull you away from World of Warcraft. In severe cases, Warcrafturbation may occur. World of Warcrafturbation - The act of masturbating while playing World of War Craft. Usually done by the majority of the players.

The Justin Bieber - The act of having tremendously undersized genetalia.

Thats what BP Said! - A variant of "that's what she said." Instead of referring to sexual connotations, it is used to refer to spending a lot of money, making a mess, or ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ up very badly. Arose after the 2010 BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.
X: Oh man, I really screwed the pooch on that one.
Y: That's what BP said!

X: It's going to take me all day to clean this mess up.
Y: That's what BP said!

X: I'm paying tonight. The sky is the limit.
Y: That's what BP said!

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.
An unhandled WMDNotFoundException was thrown by Baghdad. Would you like to impeach this president?

Windows

Windows 95/98/Xp/Vista/7/Infinity, (n): 32 bit extension and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprossessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

Microsoft

A large terrorist organisation, hell bent on producing software that crashes and works slowly. Some of their more evil tactics over the years include waiting until just before you click the save button to make the screen go all blue for no reason, but more subtle tactics include waiting until you start to work, then annoying you with a sodding paper clip.

Josh: "I'll just get on with some work..."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type*
Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?"
Josh: "No."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?"
Josh: "NO! NO! NO I DONT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WANT SOME HELP! PISS OFF!!"
*clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...*

... 2 minutes pass ...

Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"

Xbox Customer Support

Microsoft's Attempt at customer service for their highly acclaimed Xbox and Xbox 360 consoles. It mainly consists of Mexicans, Indians (Like Dirka-Dirka Indians, not Buffalo and Casino Indians), and occasionally the very helpful white guy. But that's if you're lucky. Don't be surprised if
you get pissed with your "supporter" and he forwards you to The Head Supervisor. Which in the end is another ♥♥♥♥♥♥-Speaking Mexican or an Indian who's name is Baka-Bakalaka Dirka Mohammed Jihad, or Jose. In the end, ♥♥♥♥ is either resolved due to a simple fix, or turns into a cluster-♥♥♥♥ of annoyance and frustration with one of the biggest electronic producing companies in the world. Also Known as Microshit. And don't expect them to actually do anything when big problems occur. They'll call you back in a couple of days and say "I am sorry Sir/Ma'am, there is nothing we can do Dirka Dirka Dirka."

Xbox Customer Support Representative- (Cheap Indian Accent) Ello my name is Baka-Bakalaka Dirka Mohammed Jihad, May I get your first and last name?

Xbox Gamer in Distress- Yeah, It's, Get Me Another ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Representative or I'll rip that red dot off your forehead.

Xbox Customer Support Representative- Ok sir one moment. I'll forward you to my supervisor, Jose Pablo.

Xbox Gamer in Distress-... Dial Tone ...

(Found this on internet)
Is beating off 8 times a day unhealthy for a 14 year old boy?


Answer: Oh my God kid. You need a hobby unless punching the clown is your hobby. Does it look like ham salad? Holy cow man. I can't get over this. What would your mom say? Trying to set a land speed record? Does it start to smoke? What does the smoke smell like? I got four suggestions:
a. switch arms or you'll look like Popeye
b. perfectly normal, until your Mom catches you.
c. cut down to 4 times a day and you'll get better grades cuz the pages won't be stuck together.
d. I'd hate to shake your hand...please wash

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a ♥♥♥♥♥. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock.

5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!
When she sees how sensitive and emo I have become, she'll definately go out with me!

Obama - A guy that is a favorite among young people, blacks, those in Mid-level management as well as executives. The number one thing these people say is we need change. The next thing they say in a cult tone and glazed over look "It's time for a black President." It's not time for ♥♥♥♥. Nothing is given to anyone. Either you are the best choice with the greater balance of experience and understanding or you are not. These people seem to think this is American Idol. With this stupid logic maybe it's time for a Chinese quarterback for the New York Giants. If he cannot play and has never even seen a football, who gives a ♥♥♥♥, It makes me feel better.

right-of-stay

when two cars disregard the right-of-way guidelines they were supposed learn from a driver's manual when they were 16, resulting in both cars to remain motionless at an intersection assuming the other car will make the first move. Usually after about 1o seconds both cars will go at the same time which leads to a firestorm of profanity and/or an accident.
At a four-way stop sign intersection:
Northbound Car: Is this person gonna go or what
Westbound Car: Is this person gonna go or what
Northbound Car: ♥♥♥♥♥♥' go dude
Westbound Car: ♥♥♥♥♥♥' go dude
Northbound Car: ♥♥♥♥ this guy I'm going
Westbound Car: ♥♥♥♥ this guy I'm going
Northbound Car: What the ♥♥♥♥ is wrong with you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Westbound Car: ♥♥♥♥ you and your gay ass PT Cruiser ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Halo 3 Nerd love it hate it

One who plays Halo 3 on Xbox Live so much they feel the need to have sex with their Xbox 360 console. Though the majority of the group are cocky, horny 12 year olds, another great majority are people you interact with every day.
Man that kid's got 25 kills... What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' Halo 3 Nerd!