Recent reviews by Cantor of Stelt

I seem to be the only man in existence who actually enjoyed the one mandatory podrace.

It may run like ♥♥♥♥ on my PC, but it has soda and dungeons, so it's alright.

Well, I'm not insane yet, but I suppose that's a good thing.

As of right now, I have absolutely nothing to say about this game. On my main PC (its hard drive recently died. R.I.P.) it wouldn't run, and I'm installing it on my laptop now. I'll get back to you guys on it. For now, the review will be negative and it will remain that way unless it finally works.

As someone who's used to MTG and Pokemon, this makes a nice change. The gameplay seems to be a hybrid of MTG and Hearthstone, and the graphics, although my computer lags like hell, are amazing for a TCG.

I'm not one to get emotional, but this game just about made me cry. Now, to figure out how to do the other two endings...

I have no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clue how games like this work, but sixteen minutes was enough to tell me that this is fun.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is an impressive game. The graphics, while not photo-realistic, are effing beautiful, the story is unique, and the intro is basically this: "Hey you, yeah you, in the cell beyond me. ♥♥♥♥ YOU. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE HERE. Now back the ♥♥♥♥ up, someone's coming." *Uriel Septim and his entourage enter* "Back the ♥♥♥♥ up, prisoner, the ruler of Tamriel is coming through." *Uriel looks at you* "Dude, I've been dreaming about you. Come with us." Not ten minutes later, EVERYTHING goes to hell. 10 pissed off Daedric Princes out of 17 (Haha, references).

As one of the few survivors ofthe destruction of Ciran all those years ago, Joseph has led a hard life. Now, the Emperor of the continent Orenia has invaded Masad village, his new home, looking for a young man with a strange mark on his hand - Identical to young Joseph's. Now, he must find out why the Emperor wants him so badly...

I first played Summoner in 2013, when I got it at a garage sale for my PS2. The title was enough to draw my attention, so I bought it and tried it out ASAP. The background of the protagonist, Joseph, is a sad one. The opening cinematic, after giving a bit of backstory, transitions into gameplay, and starts you off with a tutorial, which involves killing some of the afore-mentioned Orenians, referenced in-game as "Rennies." The controls are hard to get used to, as movement is controlled by mouse, but entirely possible to get used to. The lore of the world is a bit patchy in places, but there's enough there to give you a sense of the world's history. And then, there are the characters. Each of the four main characters has their own unique backstory (and I got deep into theorizing about one of them), meaning they all have their own specialized skill sets. Finally, for a game of its era, it's actually MASSIVE. Not quite Elder Scrolls massive, but still ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HUGE. The navigation is a bit disappointing, however, as whenever you leave certain areas, such as Masad village or the Lenele Outskirts, it places you in the World Map. Traveling around the map, you have a chance to be placed in an Encounter, where you are pitted against rather powerful enemies, depending on your skills and inventory.The navigation is also disappointing because of how huge the continent you start on (Medeva) actually is. If Summoner had been made by Bethesda, Medeva and Orenia would each be the size of the Daggerfall map (approximately the size of Great Britain).

All in all, Summoner is a great game and, in my opinion, a worthwhile purchase. I give it 10 p.i.s.s.e.d off Fire Imps out of 10.

First off, I have a fear of the paranormal, so this kind of game is effectively my worst enemy. That's why I decided to start off with Spooky's House of Jump Scares. It's a seemingly cute and cuddly parody of modern horror games, where you travel around a massive mansion full of terrifying monsters. For the first few minutes you wonder why you though of getting it. For the next few hours, you're running for your life from the freakiest things ever. Think cardboard cutouts aren't scary? Just wait.