Bastard » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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74 of 89 (83%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2016 @ 10:34am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:03am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 16 Jan, 2016 @ 1:41pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 15 Jan, 2016 @ 12:06pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:31am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2024 @ 6:42am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 9:50am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 16 Jan, 2016 @ 1:37pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 22 Jan, 2016 @ 11:34am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 8 Feb, 2016 @ 1:41am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 9:29am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 10:50am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 1:05pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 11 Dec, 2016 @ 8:23am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 12:46pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 14 Feb, 2016 @ 10:31am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2024 @ 4:57am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 7 Feb, 2016 @ 10:15am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 10:05am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2024 @ 4:55am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 22 Jan, 2016 @ 11:33am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked 2 Feb, 2016 @ 1:10am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 15 Jan, 2016 @ 12:09pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2016 @ 10:18am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 8 Feb, 2016 @ 2:11am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2024 @ 3:16am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 15 Nov, 2021 @ 11:36am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 17 Jan, 2016 @ 8:46am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 10:52am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked 2 Mar, 2016 @ 10:16am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 15 Jan, 2016 @ 1:23pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 7 Feb, 2016 @ 10:06am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 2 Apr, 2017 @ 12:18pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 1:06pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2024 @ 3:14am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 16 Mar, 2019 @ 8:45am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 8:51am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 8 Feb, 2016 @ 1:37am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 15 Jan, 2016 @ 11:18am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2016 @ 10:17am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:27am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 11:20pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 9:23am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 9:54am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked 1 Apr, 2019 @ 8:27am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 11:05am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 16 Jan, 2016 @ 1:36pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2016 @ 1:20pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 10:02am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 17 Jan, 2016 @ 12:27pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 1 Apr, 2019 @ 8:23am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 4 Feb, 2016 @ 1:02am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 11 Dec, 2016 @ 8:07am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2016 @ 9:59am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 12:08pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked 11 Feb, 2016 @ 2:43am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2016 @ 1:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 8 Feb, 2016 @ 1:45am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2024 @ 5:59am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 15 Jan, 2016 @ 11:38am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 1:06pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2016 @ 1:31pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 11:25am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 4 Mar, 2016 @ 5:54am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 2 Jun, 2016 @ 11:17pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 2 Apr, 2017 @ 12:31pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2024 @ 3:48am

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 11:05am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 2 Mar, 2016 @ 12:13pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 1:40pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2024 @ 4:00am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked 15 Apr, 2024 @ 11:02am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 5 Apr, 2016 @ 4:43am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 1 Apr, 2019 @ 8:41am



Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
9 / 20

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
20 / 30
+5

5 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked