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Doose -
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⢇⡹⣿⣿⣛⣓⣿⡿⠞⠑⣱⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⡄⣿⣪⡻⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣀⣀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣓⡽⡆⡄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠄⢨⡻⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣭⡶⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⡇⡿⠟⠉
⠄⠸⣷⡅⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣚⡀
⠄⠄⢉⣾⡟⠙❤️⠈⢻⣿⣷⣅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡆⠄⡀
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇❤️⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶
⠄⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣫⣾⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢮⣭⣍⡭⣭⡵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣌⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿
⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣶⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠃
⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿⣳⡄"
⢸
⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣶⣄
⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣄
⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⣠⣴⣾⣷⣿⣷⠾⢷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡷
⠀⠀⠈⢿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣾⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⠿⡿⢆⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠹⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⢀⣀⣈⣉⣉⣉⣙⣁⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⠈⠉⠙⠛⢻⣭⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⡏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡿⠇⠻⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿
......................./:.:.:.:.:.| +Rep
......................|;.;.;.;.;./ +Rep
......................|.;.;.;.;.| +Rep
............._,,,,,_.).;.;.;.;.| +Rep
.........,,-":.:.:.:."~-,;.;.;.| +Rep
........(_,,,,---,,_:.:.);.;.;..",, +Rep
......,-":.:.:.:.:.""-,,/;.;.;.;.;.", +Rep
.....(:.__,,,,,,,,,___);.;.;.;.;.;| +Rep
...../"":.:.:.:.:.:.:¯""\;.;.;.;.;.," +Rep
....\",__,,,,,,,,,,,__/;;;;;;;;;/\ +Rep
.....\.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.;.);;;;;;;;;/:\ +Rep
.......\,,,,,---~~~~;;;;;;;;,"::::\ +Rep
.........."""~~--,,,,,,,,,,-"::::::::::\ +Rep
...................\:::::::::::::::::::::::\+Rep
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░+Rep
░█▀▀ ░█▀█ ░█ ░█▀▀ ░░░░+Rep
░█▀▀ ░█▀▀ ░█ ░█ ░░░░░░░+Rep
░▀▀▀ ░▀ ░░░▀ ░▀▀▀ ░░░░░░+Rep
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ +Rep
⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⠀⣼⣏⣸⣷⠀⠘⣿⣴⡿⠀⢸⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣇⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠿⠇⠀⣿⣿⠰⠿⠋⠉⠿⠆⠀⠹⠿⠃⠀⠸⠿⠿⠗⠀⠀⠸⠿⠉⠙⠿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣷⡀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡇⢀⣶⡿⠿⠆⢸⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠿⣷⣦⠀⠀⣾⣿⣆⠀⠸⣿⣄⣾⠇
⣿⡟⢿⣾⣿⠀⣿⡇⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⣸⣿⣸⣿⡀⠀⢻⣿⠏⠀
⠿⠇⠈⠻⠿⠀⠿⠇⠈⠻⠿⠿⠇⠸⠿⠶⠆⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠿⠋⠀⠿⠏⠉⠿⠇⠀⠸⠿
═▂▄▄▓▄▄▂
◢◤ █▀▀████▄▄▄▄◢◤
█▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀╬
◥█████◤
══╩══╩══
╬═╬ Come on I'll carry you
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬☻/
╬═╬/▌
╬═╬/ \
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⢇⡹⣿⣿⣛⣓⣿⡿⠞⠑⣱⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⡄⣿⣪⡻⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣀⣀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣓⡽⡆⡄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠄⢨⡻⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣭⡶⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⡇⡿⠟⠉
⠄⠸⣷⡅⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣚⡀
⠄⠄⢉⣾⡟⠙❤️⠈⢻⣿⣷⣅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡆⠄⡀
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇❤️⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶
⠄⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣫⣾⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢮⣭⣍⡭⣭⡵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣌⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿
⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣶⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠃
⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿⣳⡄"
Z
E
R
O
o
o
o
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⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝
⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏
⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂
⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝
⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟
⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so I was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, I felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy
1. His bullets do more damage than mine
2. I didn't know he was there and he shot me when I wasn't paying attention
3. he always seems to not die when I am shooting at him I NEVER MISS because I am the greatest CS:GO player of all time
4. he knifed me once
5. I lost the match and he caused me to derank
6. I did better than him during warm-up, so he clearly toggled on mid-match
7. His USP-S killed me in 1 shot despite me unloading my Glock in his general direction
Together, as a community, we need to band together against this type of behavior. It isn't right for a person like this to be able to win a competitive game that I deserved to win. Rest assured, my dad works at Valve and will have his account banned.
Also, you might want to start asking for other people's iq's before sharing this joke with them due to the fact that some people might not get it and get r/woooshed. You know what, I'm going to save this on every device I have to show your kids in the future why I'm not their father anymore.
Anyway, enough of me rambling. I'm going to sign the divorce papers so you can f uck my wife asap and share your superior genes with my bloodline so i can also be somewhat a part of your great legacy.
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