Recent reviews by K2

After *needing* a pirate game for a very long time, I've missed the feeling of being a pirate since the days of Assassins Creed Black Flag. Even though I tried to re-live that experience on PC, that game is even less optimized than Star Citizen right now. I finally decided to buy this game because of the sale, and...

It's fantastic.
If you've played Mount and Blade: Warband before, you'll find that combat is very similar to this game.
I came into this game not knowing the difference between starboard and portside, and within 2 hours I finally got the hang of reloading cannons, picking the right loadout, and making quick repairs, but with less than 5 hours played I still have a lot to go.

First for beginners, choose an english server. Next, choose a ship that has a high level captain. If you choose a ship that has a low level captain, I can't say the learning experience will be nearly the same. I had a bunch of fun just being a crewman. Next, if you have a good captain you'll learn to listen to him. You can always talk to your shipmates for anything but really your captain is the leader of the crew. If not, you can always use voice comms to ask other faction captains for help.

Give it a try or at least watch some gameplay for it. It's not a very competitve game so if you're into being a pirate every once in a while, I'd totally recommend it.

I've never been so angry until I have played this game. This game has made my rage turn into a whole new level, and made me experience all different kinds of anger towards this game. Never have I had to turn off a game simply because I knew if I kept playing, you might see me on the news in a short bit wanted for mass murder.

Let's list the number of things that, little by little, made me one step closer to getting a hernia:

These stupid bosses have the same amount of health as God himself, nonetheless make you spam RT to dodge 99% of the time. On top of that, you're hoping that maybe your puny, insignificant nerf super soakers for hands actually do something in long range, so you might as well just lay the controller down and let the boss give you the good ol' Mandingo repeatedly until Jesus Christ himself starts playing the game for you, and the AI becomes all-forgiving to decide not to attack you.

This is the number one thing you're supposed to be using for range, because literally any of the other elements can't do crap beyond 5 meters in front of you. So Korra with her spit-sized water bullets that's doing so much as just annoy the boss rather than damage him, is so baffling that I actually had no other words to describe my hatred for this instead of blatantly swearing my head off in this review.

This man's shop literally cannot help you mid-mission. Unless you so happened to level up your damn element to gain another scroll or book that will usually set you back 12-80k in points, that's all you're getting from his shop. Not the very useful health potions or the instant revives for consumables, or charms that will help your combat, nothing. Not to mention every time you actually do want to spend the extra couple of seconds to go all the way to the chapter menu just so you can equip the stuff you just bought, usually it will set you back all the way to the beginning of combat where you had full equipment in the first place, and the fight you're about to go into is the sole reason why you lost that stuff in the first place.

I don't know what they want me to do here. Every place you fight an enemy is in an enclosed area, and more often than you think, you'll find yourself at the mercy of the walls playing keyboard like Stevie Wonder. So I'm technically encouraged to play this game with the "claw" technique moving the damn camera around while I'm spamming X, Y and RT all at the same time, occasionally changing diectiosn with the left stick because why not.

There's some, absolutely brain dead, extra chromosome moves in this game that make you lose your lock on. One of them, is the highly expensive move we all know and love from the show called Air Scooters. That piece of garbage actually caused me physical pain, as I watched Korra decide "loop-de-doo, I'm going to use this move now after I dodge twice and it makes everything worse because you can get hit while doing it". Then, I have to micromanage almost all of the damn buttons on my controller because if you hit something at the wrong damn time, ho-ho-ho you better prepare yourself to choke on a ♥♥♥♥♥, which brings me to the next point:

We've all made mistakes before, especially when playing games. You know that a-hole friend you have who's good at fighting games, challenges you once after you saying numerous times "I'm decent at best", proceeds to body you harder than Drake to Meek Mill, and then consoles you by forcing you to continue playing. This is that game. This would be like a kid-friendly Dark Souls, except I know full well that I'm too incompetent to play that game. This is a nickelodeon TV show, not Dark Souls. This isn't "The Legend of Korra: Prepare to Die". Every boss or minion, or any of those stupid triads seems to have the guillotine ready in stock for you when you miss countering, or miss a quicktime event, or miss a dodge, whatever the hell the case.

This game thinks you're the actual avatar or something. Not even like this show's kind of avatar, we're talking about James Cameron blue people avatar. What the hell do you want me to do, stick my ponytail dong to bond with my computer so I can enbody the Holy Spirit into me while I play this game? All I can do is shoot my bargain-bin water gun I got from a hand me down last Christmas, hit people with small pebbles as slow as I possibly can, threaten people with a makeshift flamethrower that's almost as good as a lighter with any aerosol can, and a portable electric fan that can go up to a whopping 3 speeds to give a nice gentle breeze as you feel the demon of rage consume your soul.

This boss is a bigger asshat than playing against Bowser for the first time as a puny mortal child on Super Mario 64. First, he has 3 full bars, telling you to go right ahead and suck on those. Next, he'll attack you with some bullcrap small cutscene that will literally wipe half your health bar to show how much of an cockroach you are compared to his giant bottle of Raid. Then when you think you have a chance by going into avatar state, he'll slap you back to your place with multiple rounds of lightning, boulders, and flying snakes.

See, I tried to make this review as kid-friendly as possible, but I'm nothing but a heaping ball of rage right now and could really finish the 6-pack I have in my fridge.

TL;DR - If you're a masochist that occasionally likes to cuckold while being beaten to horrendous amount of pain, go ahead and play this game.

EDIT:
After having my jimmies rustled, I'm writing this days after getting every achievement in the game.
That includes completing Pro Bending on Ace difficulty, and Extreme story mode.
First thing first, firmly grasp your member. I mean firmly. I went in there penetrating full force, no holds barred, decided to complete the game with unrelenting fury. I have some things to say for the aftermath.
-The final boss Moon Moon the dog was actually a piece of Nonna's homemade ciambella. I say that even though I'm not even Italian. All you have to do is make sure to ram it back inside him when he tries to pull some next-level Zoidberg whooping on you. Get the biggest lighter and aerosol can you can get, and the heaviest duty fan you can get, preferably the industrial grade fans Firemen use to clear smoke out of buildings (By this I mean, MAX the crap out of all the elements). Show Moon Moon who wears the pants in the house by giving him the hardest thrusts you can give him.
-I used to be treated like a gimp around the maps of nickelodeon's poorly funded game. But all that changed when I learned to use the "ENTER" key. Ayy lmao.
-The only thing that didn't become easy is playing against the three teletubbies pro bending. Second final level. I haven't been that stressed; that induced to scream at the screen since the final boss of Ikaruga. I hate this game so much.

Final verdict: Go ahead and try it, but be prepared to get severely ravaged before you can pull up your diapers and dry your tears.
I give it a 4/7. Never again.