Recent reviews by Kernel

This "release" is yet another in a growing set of case examples of big developers and publishers releasing games as a "beta" to waive all technical and design criticisms. This game does not deserve that leeway, given that Activision has had multiple years to get their ♥♥♥♥ straight with this new engine and the overall design philosophy of Call of Duty. DMZ is fun for the most part, but over 4 years later Activision has yet to solve some of their most basic technical issues in the new wave of CoD titles. I'm still kept up at night from the horror show that was Cold War, never again activision, never again.

You can read my full review here[rentry.co], as steam doesn't allow for the length in which I wrote mine originally.
Bonelab is a difficult game to recommend, at least for right now, and is yet another contender in the pool of "I wish steam had a neutral review option". It's also not the simplest to review given it's similar name to Boneworks, as such I'll be labeling the two different games as BL for Bonelab and BW for Boneworks to make it easier to write and differentiate.

BL is a game marketed as a sequel to BW, with updated visuals, content and a whole new campaign to boot. The game delivers on some of these and falls back on MANY others, primarily in the campaign and the content. I'm not so bothered by the visual downgrades in some areas, on the contrary I'm wildly impressed at just how good the game can look on the Quest 2, it's an achievement in that regard.

I played the game on PC with a Quest 1 and a GTX 1070. I suffered none of the crashes or slowdowns that many with far beefier computers than I have, so you're not going to find performance complaints in this review. Neither will you find complaints on the input, as the game was tailored for the Oculus/Meta inputs. However, It is difficult to ignore just how many people are suffering on the PC version of BL, it's astounding that even Index players are struggling to even pick items up with their hands without things falling apart.

Another odd issue with the game is housed in the gameplay itself, the guns. I was a bit of a crack shot in BW, able to pull of some cool shots in and out of slow-mo. In BL something is going on with the guns and I can't really tell what it is, I could be dead on with my aim on an enemy and the bullet will miss entirely, or at the least not hit where I was aiming. This, the physics and the issues above are all things I hope get fixed in a short timeframe, as you can frustrate players with this for only so long.

This brings me back to Oculus/Meta, SLZ, the developers, have stated that their partnership with Oculus/Meta would not have any effect on the PC version or it's development. After the release of BL, I simply don't believe them on that, as it seems most, if not the entire PC playerbase was an afterthought until BL's actual release. Vive is now considered a completely unsupported way of playing BL (though they have been transparent about that for months now, still sucks) which I suppose is understandable to SOME extent, though the fact that Index, WMR and PIMAX players are all suffering unique issues that make the game entirely unplayable is near unforgivable considering how long this game has been in development.

Speaking of the game's development, let's talk about the fruits of that labor, the contents of the game itself. BL is intended as a more sandboxy follow-up to BW, a game in which I love very much. BW had a pretty lengthy campaign, resting around at least ~10-15 hours on a casual playthrough. The game boasted full body physics and a reasonable amount of side content that could keep you entertained for a while. BL's approach was almost entirely on the side content, instead of the campaign.

BL's campaign is roughly 4.5 hours in length, 7 if you REALLY take your time. Most of the campaign is locked behind the other modes and a tedious puzzle, compared to BW's straight-shot campaign. It's so bizarre it borders on insanity on SLZ's part, I have no idea why they went this route. What campaign IS there is... decent? Most of the levels are pretty fun (go ♥♥♥♥ yourself, pillar) but pale in comparison to some of BW's tamest levels. I enjoyed the ending sequence of the game more than most, I thought it was a nice way to end things off and a good lore dump. The campaign is good for 2 playthroughs, if you care about collectibles and trying the new avatars.

Okay fine, so the campaign itself isn't much to look at, what about the rest of the contnet? Well, the game boasts a handful of new guns, 2~ new pistols, SMGs, Rifles and a new type of weapon, shotguns, something that was actually going to be in BW back in the day (just look at their old pre-release videos for BW on the Node channel). The new side modes are mostly fun, Arena got some new maps as well as some revamped old ones, you have Tac Trials, Sandbox makes a return with one or two new maps. Then there's the final 2, Parkour and the ever useless Experimental, It's existence outside of modding is questionable Parkour is fun if a bit frustrating at times with newfound physics bugs and my hands seemingly trying to clip into every surface imaginable, an issue not often present back in BW.

The final, potentially biggest original piece of content to this game the avatar swap, IIRC it's called holo-mod in the game. This system isn't available to you until roughly 60% into the campaign, and you spend most of the remainder of it collecting the rest of the avatars, and are then thrust into the game's finale. Each avatar has a unique look, height, weight, speed and strength. I guess the intent with the avatars is for all the side content and modding, because the moment you've collected them all, the game is basically over. One of the selling points of BL the ability to port over your own models through unity, directly into the game with it's own tailored stats. It's not exactly easy to do this (for most), you'll have to download Git, a specific unity version, multiple SDKs, follow a relatively lengthy guide and to top that all off, a PC. Why not an SDK for the game? Steam has a tools page. Most will have to wait for content to be made by players, as well as wait for SLZ to even put the mod browser online, as right now no one can upload their models directly into the game yet.

I'm not alone in believing that it wasn't in good faith to charge the community $40 a piece (compared to $30 for BW) for a game that isn't even half as long, and doesn't have enough side content to keep you hooked for long, especially if you've already played BW quite a lot. All the while leaving a majority of that price tag up to the community. Unpaid, passionate players are going to be the only ones bringing this game even close to being worth $40 in the future. The mods that can be made are impressive, though, whether it be a code mod, simple avatars, weapons, maps or modes. Despite this, BL can do it all. Despite that I still can't defend charging this much for a game so bare in it's current state and leaving most of the future development to those who paid for it. BW came out near the end of 2019, coming off of a 2-3 year devcycle. BL is a game built on the base of BW with at least 2 years of added development time, so it's not entirely unreasonable to be somewhat confused that no true innovation or even a substantial amount of content has come from this release. Was most of development spent on creating a functional version for the Quest 2? These are questions only SLZ themselves have answers to.

I'm going to continue playing BL, as I do find the game itself pretty fun, and I wish to exhaust all the pre-made content before some real mods start to hit the scene. Another thing that makes this release troublesome however is that because of this shaky release, people are either dropping the game or refunding it, which makes it all the more likely players are not going to return to this game once it is actually worth playing and spending money on. I foresee the game having a small but dedicated modding community on PC, with a pretty Quest reliant playerbase, as things are NOT going well on PC by comparison.

TL;DR: Bonelab is a game that is, while fun, pretty bare in its current state. Barring the lacking physics compared to the previous and major game breaking bugs for PC players, it's a hard sell. Wait at least a few months for further fixes and for the community to provide content worth playing. For now, buy Boneworks instead and experience that bit of majesty.

I admit it's kinda funny

Likely one of the best DLC ever made for a game.

My dopamine levels have not lowered in the past 3 days

I think this review is more accurately placed, and subsequently intended for those who have already played the original The Stanley Parable. If you've never played the game or have watched any content, this is well worth the full price. You can add this review into the well established camp of steam review that pledge for the implementation of a "neutral" review, as I absolutely love the original The Stanley Parable, but have multiple reservations when it comes to this re-release. Bare in mind that I am not in any way writing this review to be contrarian or to hate on this specific release, rather raise come concerns that I have with it. Also bare in mind that with time, I am likely to iterate on this review, change aspects of my points and further add to its totality.

Let me start with saying that I completely understand how arduous it is to port an entire game to the Unity engine, and in that regard a portion of the asking price is completely understood. This move clearly generated from the idea that the Source engine is just a pain in the ass to develop for in terms of consoles, that, and with passing time, the developers wanted to enhance the games visuals (though there are problems in that department with this release). Not to mention adding content on top of the original, further validating a price increase for this specific title, though my many tribulations with this end will soon become clear with this review. I have, and intend to express, the plethora of issues with this release including; the aforementioned new content itself, the presentation of the marketing and the final asking price in regards to those who've already played the original release.

First point, The new content itself. If you've not played the original The Stanley Parable I'm going to issue my recommendation now to stop reading and play either the original or this release, as I will not be holding back on whatever spoilers I cast out. I can say with certainty that i'm not alone when it comes to feeling underwhelmed by the new content offered. If you want opinions on both ends of the spectrum on this topic, I'll link a reasonably active discussion thread that I started on the discussion board at the bottom of this review. The broad scope of actual, new content within this release are as follows; 3-4 "Full" endings which are contained in new areas in or out of the facility, a whole host of new dialogue that is present in the variations of the original endings. Beyond that, there's not much more content present within, I'm not considering the Bucket endings original content, regardless of how occasionally clever it can be, it's nearly the same exact endings with a bucket thrown into the dialogue. The new area based content is actually some of the best I've seen, even comparing to the original, it's absolutely fantastic and simultaneously upsetting when it ends so early. The "endless" hole and fast forwards endings are some of my favorites presented in the game. This new content dries up shockingly fast, assuming that you're aware of what to do to achieve old endings and how to avoid them in order to reach the new content, especially if you pressed "Yes" on whether or not you've played the original upon starting the game for the first time. Putting aside the engine change and the few new areas presented. It makes you wonder where the bulk of the effort the past few years of delay went to, surely it didn't just go to bucket dialogue, right?

This brings me to the second point, the presentation of the marketing (there has got to be a better term for this). Here, on the very steam page you're browsing on, the store page gives you some insight as to what to expect from this release. Setting aside the appetizers for those who've never played the game, "Everything that was in the original Stanley Parable is here, preserved just like it was back in 2013. But The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe also dramatically expands the world of the original game with new content, new choices, and new secrets to uncover. The labyrinth has just gotten bigger.". The first sentence is, for the most part, true (some endings had to have been cut or replaced, like the serious room), while the other sentences can leave much up for debate. What do you consider a dramatic expansion, how much bigger is the labyrinth really supposed to be? Is it meant to be interpreted as quite literally, just a little bit bigger? If so, then perfect, nothing really is wrong here. Though, that's not what many of us thought in the multiple years it took for this to release.

This grievance is further iterated in the presentation and satirical take on the player's expectations within the game itself. Granted, these endings are well written and, in their own context, extremely funny, however when a majority of your new content critiquing the industry for re-releases, sequels and remasters while all that your re-release is really offering is content intended to critique just that, in turn ends up rubbing me the wrong way. This joke is pushed further with the plethora of "bucket" endings, once you reach the end of the new content tucked away behind the "new content" door, each play-through will feature a bucket in which you can pick up. Picking this bucket up will alter just about any original ending you encounter from that point on, which can sometimes result in relatively clever and humorous narration. The cases in which this will actually garner a positive reaction from a player of the original, will quickly fade and, likely like me, start asking "is this it?". On YouTube you can find reactions on the contrary from those who've never experienced the game, and quite like the repetitive nature of these jokes and additional, satire filled endings, as it goes well with all of the content from the original.

This ultimately leads me to the primary reason behind the harshness of this review, is the asking price for long time payers, and how I feel it may mislead those payers. Currently, as of writing this review, Crow Crows Crows is asking for $16.66 for those who own the original, this discount will only last for less than a week more, and originally was going to end days prior. Considering the full-scale, original content that this release offers, it has me questioning whether or not the price tag is reasonable (especially once the price jumps back up to $25 for long time payers). I think the most reasonable course of action is to ask $10-12 of long time payers, or at the least, make the -33% discount permanent for those who own the original. A majority of the asking price content doesn't consider that those payers have already experienced a majority of what the game has to offer. The bucket endings seems like a cheap way to cover the price in an attempt to satisfy those who're likely to be playing the same old endings they experienced years prior (or even played through in preparation for this re-release, and to those, I'm sorry.).

TLDR: A question, have you played the original? No? Buy this release with a sound mind and enjoy one of my favorite mind-bending narrative experiences. If you've played the original, maybe wait for a bigger sale or at the least, consider if you're fine with paying this much for what little additional real content there is. I personally could not.

The discussion thread in question: https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/app/1703340/discussions/0/3275815819067829043/?ctp=6

its good

A fantastic platform for All-in-one emulation, now put onto steam.

EDIT: 5/20/21 - After testing today, the game successfully loaded and now works, however the online-only achievement is still unachievable. Regardless of this fact I've since changed my review to a positive one, the prior review is still below.

A fantastic game ruined by the neglect of their developers and publishers, the game is virtually unplayable as of recent.
Any attempt to launch the game tells you their servers are unreachable, therefore the game wont be launched, this is a result of the online servers being shut down.
This itself wouldn't be much of a problem, right? Just remove the DRM and the deal is done, it's not as simple as it lets on. Removing the DRM will only make the game playable at a base, the online services also hosted various races and modes required to gain every achievement in the game, so unless you plan to use software to cheat those specific achievements in, your out of luck for good.
The fact that this game is still being sold on the steam store even though it's unplayable is the most confusing thing of all.

what else could you want.