Recent reviews by Xeno

literally named a game after a minecraft sword enchantment lol get real n00b.

WOW. what. a. game. I just love the manly dwarves being manly and manhandling those bug..... Gosh i wish i was those bugs.

how do u jump?

Only get this if you have a beefy computer and a willingness to abandon your social life for those cigarette cards

|||Papers Please|||

Me: Here

|||Type of review?|||

Me: Positive, o-of course.

|||Length of Review?|||

Me: No less than two paragraphs.

|||Due to recent acts of $%&#posting, a certificate confirming your playtime to be over ten {10} hours is now required.|||

Me: Oh yeah, it's right here.

|||Here it says your playtime is only seven {7} hours, not the required ten {10}|||

Me: Well, yeah, I played a lot offline.

|||Wait here, I will examine your profile.|||

|||Here it says you have played 'Warframe' for over 850 hours. This classifies you as a Person With No Life.|||

Me: What?! Well, whatever, there are plenty of great games to review, maybe I'll do House of the Dyin-

|||You have also spent considerable amounts of time in the games 'Kingdom Come Deliverance' and 'Crusader Kings II. This not only makes you someone with no life, but a complete nerd as well.|||

Me: Ya gotta be kidding me!

|||Guards!|||

Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....................

"My job is to hunt down heretics." -Monsignor

"I am also staying at the house of a priest who owns a concubine, is openly protestant, and it is extremely obvious that he is a bandit as well."

10/10 for accuracy


REAL REVIEW:

Graphics: You forget what reality is.
Audio: Decent, could be better
Story: Beautiful
Historical Accuracy: Has some inaccuracies, but they are so small you won't notice them unless you are a huge nerd.
Audience: Teens and Adults.
Replayability: This is the kind of game you are going to sink thousands of hours into

8/10

Mom and david wont let me haev their credit card so i have to play this insted of overwatch.

immodest women

The Scarab has the best hitbox in game.

The game never loaded.