Recent reviews by Purple Monkey Dishwasher

10/10 would be driven insane by alien geometry again

This game is a minmaxer’s heaven/worst nightmare. 10/10, would spend 30 at the trinket screen pondering exactly what trickets to equip on my team.

I have one word for you. Piss. Lots of it. This game will make piss shoot of opening you never knew you had. To quote Zero Puncutation, "Amnesia isn't a perfect game, but it's almost unmatched as a constipation aid."

If you like exploring, murdering, and just being a plain d***, well then f*** off back to DayZ! (not really). Unturned is like a mish-mash of Minecraft (w/out the %100 destructable terrain), DayZ, and GTA (Although if you try to steal some randomly spawned car, good luck going more than 5 miles without running out of gas). But in all seriousness, Unturned is a superb game for those who just like to mess out with what the game has to offer. With it still in Early Access, and updates more common than necroposters on the Unturned wikia, it is a great game to check up on every day to see what whacky new items/vehicles/weapons/mechanics were added in every patch. Plus, by playing the game in a explorer kind of way, you will, no big suprise, will encounter, you guessed it, bugs! And guess what? If you take the 5 mins required to submit a bug report, the devs will actually fix it. All in all, Unturned is a very fun game, with frequent updates and patches to make the game ever so more perfect.


- Some random Hobo

If you like a good challenge for both you will, mind and self-esteem, this game is perfect for you. With great music, random runs and tense fights every room, it will scare you more than any next-gen game out there. I have played this game for over 50 hours, and I have not even scratched the surface of this game's full glory. With random seeds spicing up runs so you never get bored, plus the game having unique items that can ether ruin or totally carry or run, will really have you begging to mlgesus for that one extra soul heart for good measure, or good items in your shop/item rooms, or you praying that Bob's Rotten Brain does not spawn in your azazel run. But, in all and all, this game is a great game, perfect for when you are bored or on a long ride/flight. But , heed this word of advice; A. If you have low range, NEVER pick up Bob's Rotten Brain, or you will suffer exploding pain. B. Try not to pick up Soy milk, it is really tricky to use. C. If you hate a run a lot, holding R will restart your run with the same character, but with a different seed. D. Unless you are sure DO NOT PICK UP DEAD CAT It takes away all but one red heart container, and gives you 9 lives E. Satan and Isaac are really hard to defeat, so get into a grove before you fight them.

By the way, this game plays like Super Meat Boy, so if you don't like that game, this probably is not the game for you.