snarlin’, eyes all bloodshot, crab claw clickin’ like it’s mad at the world
you ever just sit there and think, man, everybody’s laughin’ at me? yeah? well they is. always been like that. them smooth-skin freaks struttin’ round like they own the whole damn place, lookin’ at me like i’m some kinda freak show, like the crab claw happened ‘cause i done messed up—hell no, man, i was born broke and busted. born into a busted family and a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ old house with a saggy roof out in the boonies of New York. my mom? don’t get me started—always naggin’, always whinin’, never once showed me a lick of love. stepdad was a stand-up guy, really, but i hated him for no good reason. hated responsibility more than anything, and he was just tryin’ to help me be a better person—but i don’t wanna admit that. before all this, i was livin’ in that house with my sexy brother Joey. yeah, Joey, the only good thing in that dump. tried to get laid by my grandpa when i was a kid, showin’ him my pee pee, but he just smacked me in the shoulder in retaliation—never got nothin’ from that. but i left all that behind ‘cause i was obsessed—stalked krissy across the county on some filthy train, sittin’ there watchin’ her like a damn creep. now she’s hidin’ from me, but methhog lizzy’s around—well, she’s leavin’ me now, but i don’t care none. what i really care about is never finding a damn job, ‘cause i deserve to be at home jerkin’ it all day to furry stuff and YouTube slop. now they wanna kick us out. just like that. 72-hour notice slapped on the door like it’s a death sentence. and the landlord? cheatin’, hackin’ ♥♥♥♥. i wanna dimension shift outta here, but nah, stuck in this dumbass reality like some glitch nobody can fix. got these headaches too—not really headaches, more like feelin’ all sad with monkeys in Africa or somethin’—i’m an empath or some crap, so my brain just hurts but don’t really hurt at the same time. crab claw won’t let me keep a job, so all i do is yell into a webcam for 43 angry people who wanna hear me rage about dota. i hate this world. i hate them slick, lotion-faced people. i hate the stink of eviction and my unwashed ass, and if one more smooth-skin tells me to “calm down,” i’m gonna smash this claw so hard it tears the whole damn universe apart.