Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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Guide to the Life of an Engiturtle
By The Impractical Engineer
You see em on the streets. You see em in your backyard. You see em on the badlands. They're everywhere. The Engiturtle is a interesting, yet complex specie of turtle. Here in this guide, with assistance of Sir David Attenborough, we will explore into a realm which has never been explored before. For the first time in all of human history, we will investigate the life of the Engiturtle...
   
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Classification:
Classification:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Metallica
Class: Sphee
Order: Construction
Family: Engineer
Subfamily: Turtle
Genus: Gibus
Scientific Name: Fectum Turtur


The Engiturtle is from the same family as the wild Gibus Engineer, however, the subfamily of the Engiturtle is the endangered turtle. The main difference between the two is their appearance and their behaviour; the Engiturtle is a far more passive creature.

Left is an image of a captured wild gibus engineer.
Habitat:
The Engiturtles exist everywhere on every corner of the planet. In fact, they are so abundant that the Environmental Protection Agency has classed the Engiturtle as least concern. Their habitat, however, is far more exciting.

The Engiturtle can typically be found near the last capture point or the intelligence room, or a braver Engiturtle can be spotted in the backlines. The important thing to remember is this: the Engiturtle will never, ever, leave their home, for they can be killed or worse have their entire nest decimated by the wilderness of the badlands.

This image was taken 2 years ago. It clearly demonstrates the wild Engiturtle defending his nest.
Behaviour:
On the Volvo scale, from Friendly to Hostile, the Engiturtle is ranked passive-aggressive. They stick right next to their dispenser. They eat there. They poop there. They lay their eggs there. They mate there. Disturbing a wild Engiturtle may result in the Engiturtle incorrectly thinking they are under attack, and will force them to go into wild mode.

In wild mode, they are ranked Hostile on the Volvo scale, and will defend their nest and their young to death. But do not fret, because if you happen to stumble across one in the badlands, just run away; the Engiturtle is too slow of a creature to reach you and they will not dare leave their nest unprotected.
Diet:
The Engiturtles do not have a huge variety on their food, however, they mostly eat metal. They digest their food so quickly, that they must constantly be next to their source of food to survive; the almighty dispenser. The dispenser can provide enough food for an entire family.

Without the dispenser, the Engiturtle would go hungry, and would eventually die due to malnutrition.

Reproduction:
When the Engiturtle is old enough, they may venture to the very depths of their spawn room to find a mate. When a female finds a male Engiturtle, they merge their nests together; this is a strong sign of bondage between the couple. During mating season (from January 1st - December 31st), the Engiturtle's are particularly more... defensive of their nests. Anyway, the female lays the 27,268 eggs all at once. Unfortunately, 27,001 of those newborns, will die...

Protection:
Under Animal Crimes Acts Section 13, line 28, it states that Engiturtles are protected by the EPA. Killing or harming an Engiturtle is a criminal offence and the offenders will be punished by state law. Fines range from 5 to 80 keys. One may only kill an Engiturtle if their life is in danger.
Final Notes
No Engiturtles were harmed in the making of this guide.
19 Comments
Skooks 19 Jan, 2020 @ 4:35pm 
What sexual dimorphism can we see between the male and female Engiturtle?
UltimateGameAssassin 16 Jan, 2020 @ 8:37pm 
Fascinating, I wonder if Engiturtles and Pybros once shared a common ancestor...
BBQ Mountaineer 16 Jan, 2020 @ 7:05pm 
this is hilarious as someone who plays engineer a lot
foxy48514 16 Jan, 2020 @ 11:30am 
The f#ck is that xD
Buck608 15 Jan, 2020 @ 7:10pm 
this is me
FlashOfAsh 14 Jan, 2020 @ 3:36pm 
well hey atleast they still exist today,but we need more water and air wolves tbh,oh wait,no we need more water and air eagles to handle the population of engi turtles
too many and they'd kill out the spy crab population,or maybe even the fat scout population
choke 13 Jan, 2020 @ 12:30am 
recommended over 2 years ago wow....
Vin 12 Jan, 2020 @ 2:26pm 
and i though SpyCrabs are endangered
The Impractical Engineer  [author] 12 Jan, 2020 @ 2:09am 
Why do my guides get recommend after two years lol
Sundance967 12 Jan, 2020 @ 12:41am 
we need M O R E .

please