Click on English-Female button to get:

Discount
Did you say for Free?


Then on the English-Male to get:

Full-price
I don't need no Steam sales!


Keep clicking on both until an error window will be prompted, click on "xd".

Lenny
You've been tricked


As soon as you get to main menu, a voice will greet you, quickly click on "PLAY" to get.

Interrupting
Trying to get through the game faster?


Now click on PLAY once again whenever the narrator is done.
Here you have to input your name, it doesn't matter whatever you type, you'll always end being "Mike"
A new window will show up, click on "It isn't", then on "It's still not too late for you to let me input my actual name"

Nice joke.
Mission failed. We'll get 'em next time.


On the login screen, click with the correct cursor on Mike's avatar and press enter.

Rebellion
Tryna destroy the game


Click on any "Cubecraft"

Cubecraft
I bet it's an asset flip


Then "Run Away" to exit

Back at the desktop, wait for the scene until you have to "click on the script" (New Document) and close it after a few seconds, a BSDO will happen, unlocking:
Note: Always wait until the narrator stops talking, or it can glitch out.

BSOD
Boo! It's not hand drawn!


You'll be at a new scene with a laptop and a pendrive, open Steam overlay

Rude.
Why would you Overlay me?!?


Also wait for 22 seconds to get:

A slower one
It took me over 22 seconds to connect an USB drive.


Now move the pendrive to any of the usb ports to progress.
Note: Pendrive is controlled with WASD keys, controls are inverted.

Wrong hole!
I swear I'm straight


Then click on the laptop's power button


Tails?
Damn furries


Once the laptop is powered on, you'll be able to control a "snake" with arrow keys.
Go over the browser icon and press enter.
Then "Search"
And "Legit site..."
A new icon (with a dolphin) will show up in desktop, go over it and press enter.

Wasted
Steven killed a CEO Mike


At the new window, press enter over "I accept my fate...", don't do it on the other one or it will increase the left counter.

Once done, you'll be playing another "game"
Click on Play and move the head all the way to the right (with D key)
Click on any "yes" button a few times...

Here, there are two achievements that can unlock, which are random, depending on what you get you'll have to replay the game to get the other.

Woohoo!
What knife is it gonna be? OH GOD NO PLEASE


OR

Seriously?
I made $0.01


These unlock as soon as you finish the game:

Forbidden Button
Surprisingly, someone clicked this.


★ You Tried ★
Hey! That's not what I typed!

Start a new playthough now, get to the point where you have to input your name again, but this time choose "Pretty sure"

My Name
I guess I'm Mike now...