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Not enough ratings
How to create a Battlerite steam review.
By TIMBS and 1 collaborators
How to get upvotes and ♥♥♥♥...
   
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Created by
spinach
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ARK: Survival Ascended
TIMBS
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Category: Achievements, Characters, Classes, Co-op, Crafting, Game Modes, Gameplay Basics, Loot, Maps or Levels, Modding or Configuration, Multiplayer, Secrets, Story or Lore, Trading, Walkthroughs, Weapons, Workshop
Languages: English
Posted
2 Oct, 2018 @ 3:19am
583 Unique Visitors
2 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
HOW TO REVIEW : 
Step 1. The negative review. 
Step 2. Bash the developers. 
Step 3. Bash the "new" game. 
Step 4. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE GAMEPLAY!!! 
Step 5. Congratulations. 
Examples of "good" reviews. 
Comments
HOW TO REVIEW :
Go to steam library.

Right click Battlerite.

Click uninstall.

Left click the uninstalled Battlerite.

Navigate to the right.

Click the review tab.

GG.
Step 1. The negative review.
The golden rule to a Battlerite review currently is by giving the game a negative review, The negative review tells audiences your stance on the game quickly and clearly.

It is also a fact that audiences much rather read through negative review's because people rather see 'bashing' and 'critisism', than praise.
Step 2. Bash the developers.
Straight off the bat, you will want to bash the developers for creating a new game which is a supposed "cash grab", and not a passion project.

Forget the fact that Stunlock Studios are still making regular bug fixes and updates to the game; If Battlerite Arena is not the main priority, then they are "♥♥♥♥♥♥ developers".


Step 3. Bash the "new" game.
If you havent played Battlerite Royale you may have said the line "I don't want to pay for Battlerite AGAIN" - (followed by screeching).

You can also use this line even if you did get Battlerite for free, since no one can be bothered to check when you purchased the game.

Forget the fact that Battlerite Royale is a completely different game, requiring separate developing and attention.

This line is perfect for getting the population of angry children on board with your opinion.


ALSO, bash the idea of the Battle Royale genre entirely, and call it a "passing fad", this will be sure to get upvotes.
Step 4. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE GAMEPLAY!!!
Since Battlerite has legitamate good gameplay for players to dive into, bringing up this point could make your review sound positive which will make the review downvoted by readers.

By the way, the only ones reading through Battlerite reviews are people who have played the game for around 40 hours + , so the review is supposed to pander to these mongoloids rather than new players looking for a fun 'free' game.
Step 5. Congratulations.
You officially have aids.
4 Comments
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TIMBS  [author] 13 Oct, 2018 @ 7:39pm 
Nah, i think your refering to Dead by Daylight reviews.
"Come to the Chopper" 13 Oct, 2018 @ 3:50am 
1. Be bad at video games
2. whine about yourself being bad
3.???
4. Profil
TIMBS  [author] 4 Oct, 2018 @ 10:07pm 
Rough draft always helps, re-read to find mistakes and possible things to add.
Show your parents and have them read over it, then you should be good to go.
You can re edit the review in the future if you believe there is more to add.
THE SOS RESPONDER 4 Oct, 2018 @ 8:19am 
How can I master this ???