You know you're good. In fact, you know that you're awesome. Not to brag, but you're quite possibly one of the top players in the game. I mean, come on... it's YOU we're talking about. How can you possibly not be amazing, right...?

Right?

Unfortunately, not everyone can recognize greatness when they see it. You may be asking yourself right now, why would I want to prove anything to complete strangers over the internet? Because you're flippin' awesome, that's why!

So, to help you help others see you for the incredible player that you are, here is a list of things that you need to be aware of when dealing with the lesser masses. Let's get started!



Your K/D is the only thing that matters!

Your kill counter is the absolute representation of you and your skills. The more kills you have, the more amazing you appear to be, and no one can refute that. It clearly shows that you are a top caliber player, a connoisseur of the craft, a god of death! No matter what, aim for the highest number of kills.
Wait for your team to weaken the enemy, the swoop in like a falcon and get that kill! It doesn't matter if an ally is asking for help or if your turrets are being destroyed, because those petty concerns are for your silly team mates to handle anyway, and you should not concern yourself with such nonsense.

Your death counter, on the other hand, is the most accurate representation of how much better than the enemy team you are, especially if your team mates have more deaths than you do. Obviously, you are much better than everyone if they can't even touch you, right? Be slippery like an eel an avoid dangerous situations as much as possible.
If you think you're in trouble, ask for help, but when your team arrives, just retreat and let them handle the situation for you. If they end up dying, surely it's because they were inferior players. After all, you are still alive and they're dead, so what more proof do they need to see your ruperiority?

Talk smack to the enemy team at every opportunity

This is a game that's played on two fronts: the technical (which you absolutely excel in) and the mental. Play mind games with the enemy team. Make them question their skills and upgrade selection. Better yet, praise one person from the enemy team and compare them with the rest of his/her team. Make the enemy doubt each other and fight among themselves for your invaluable praise!

Talk smack to your own team too!

Your smack talking mind games shouldn't be limited to the enemy team, naturally. Your true goal is to make everyone in the game see how truly awesome you are, so don't hesitate to point out how much better you are from your team mates, how many more kills you have and how many deaths they have, even though many of those deaths were caused because of your lack of coordination with them in the first place. Only a salty fool could possibly argue with numbers, after all!

Brag about your league. It matters.

Make sure that you let everyone know that you are in league 1 or 2, that you have played with the best of the best, that you are willing to carry your team's sorry butts if they can at least stop dying so much already. Who are they anyway? Just some league 3 or 4 noobs, right? Obviously lesser players compared to your majesty.

When you're about to lose, be generous.

It's not that the enemy team is better than yours and have claimed their victory fair and square. No no no no no... You are letting them win. It doesn't matter that all of yours turrets are blown up and that all of the enemy turrets are still in place. It doesn't matter that the enemy is in your base, destroying it. No, of course not. You are you after all, so how can that even occur to you?
They are winning simply because you are so fed up with how bad your team is, that you have better things to do and you are letting them take a pity win. You are quite generous, after all.

When your team talks back, shut them up.

When someone from your team dares criticize your skills, they're obviously out of line and don't know what they're talking about. Tell them to "just play" or to "stfu and play". If they continue talking even after your warning, let the enemy team know that this person is afk, talking all the time, not playing the game and costing you your victory, even if they only typed one or two lines total.

Don't try to improve your skills, because you're already perfect.

You have definitely reached the highest skill ceiling in the game. In fact, you have even created your own amazing tactics that nobody else knows about! Why would you ever[\i] even consider improving? That's literally impossible! If there's anything wrong, it's your team or the balance, and losing has nothing to do with you as a player, right?

Only care about youself.

All that matters is you and your self-image. It's not like yours as well as your team's performance is dependant on each other. Nonsense! If you're a good player, you're just good. If you're a bad player, you're just bad. Your team has nothing to do with it. You exist in a vacuum, a seperate bubble, a different cloth, above the law. Your actions have no bearing on your team.
This is a team-based game you say? It's a game with synergies and teamwork? Pfffft... yeah right, so salty! Look at those losers blaming you for their deaths. If they were as good as you, they wouldn't have that many deaths! It's not like you are obliged to help them every time they "mess up". I mean, what do you call it other than a "mess-up" when it ends in their deaths, right? Surely, you know best.



And there you have it! Follow this advice, and you can fool people into thinking that you're actually a good player, even if you're actually awful. You may even manage to fool yourself! :3