Hello and welcome to our guide.

We're here to pop da pu$$y and fak betches teach you about what NOT to do in MvM.

We're all very different persons but we share one thing in common:

WE'RE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TIRED OF NOOBS WHO DON'T KNOW THEIR LIMITS

That's why we're here to write this guide, to teach people and hopefully entertain them. Become a better player now.

PS. Let's get this straight - if you have any good "what not to do" tip (especially related to maps section), post it in comment please. One of us can check it out, and add it. Thanks. Now enjoy the guide.

Don't go into a mvm game without these roles

Simply, if you want to beat mvm missions with ease, you need those 5 roles:

• Medic Picker - Medic picker's main role is (i bet you didnt knew it) killing medics. The best classes for this role are Demo, Sniper, Spy and sometimes Soldier and Pyro.
  
  
• Crowd Controller - In other words, robot killer. The best classes for this role are Soldier, Pyro, Demo, Heavy, Sniper and sometimes Spy.
  
  
• Money Collector - The best money collector is the Scout, but Spy is also good at it.
  
  
• Tank Buster - Soldier, Pyro and demo are the best destroyers.
  
  
• Engineer - Because a Scout can't build sentry guns and teleporters.
  
  
• Medic - While before the 2 cities update he was near useless, he is now almost essential to mvm. He can bring teammates back to life for free with his revive abilty, and can defend his team againist hordes of rockets and robots with his shield.

Don't go a class which is taken

Take classes that are not taken. If you already have a scout, heavy and engineer but none of the other classes, the wisest thing to do is to go soldier/demoman/sniper/pyro etc. You will be able to cover more jobs/objectives and make things a whole lot easier.

"But I don't wanna go those other classes!"

Ok, lets imagine your body. You have your skeleton (Engineer, medic and scout) and your meat (Demoman, pyro, soldier, sniper, spy etc). If you have no other classes in your team yet you go the meat, you will have no skeleton and become a stucture-less pile of flesh. Garbage. In a more realistic format, you're on a MvM and you have... 1 medic, 2 spies and 3 snipers. Pretty simple. Wave 1 starts and uber medics get popped all over the place. There is no good pocket for the medic and no one to tank some damage for the team. The frontline falls because of a lack of a sentry and dispenser. Tank passes through cause you got no pyro or heavy to take care of it and WHAM! The robots score the bomb.

In fact, watch this video and read its description, because this guy, us and a lot of other people in mann up already know better than you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cm2iFmASBc
Huge credit to anangrysockpuppet, heres his link to his channel if you want to watch more of these:http://www.youtube.com/user/anangrysockpuppet?feature=watch

If you go the same class over and over again in tf2, its going to get really boring for you. Not only that, but doing that in mvm when you go a class there already is (except heavy), you will suck out my fun, everyone in the teams fun and everyone else you play with's fun tf2 and thus ruining my and your tf2 experience.

Please, learn to take responsibillity.

Sometimes 2 of the same classes can work very well (for example Soldier, Demo, Heavy and Sniper), but both of the same class must be an expert and you cant have that noob which will rage about having 2 snipers.

Don't be silent!

There is a very special skill that 75% of tf2 don't have, its called communicating.

Seriously, even if you don't have a mic, never forget that you can use chat by pressing the Y button to communicate with what person is going x class, helping others, alerting others etc. Try not to be brain dead like most gibus+pyrovision people I end up seeing and not listen to your teamates/communicate with them.

Speaking of listening to your teamates, if your team-member is giving you advice, try to give some notice to them trying to help you. Refusing to listen to advice people give you will never make you better at the game and you will remain at a horrible level of inteligence.

It's called Team fortress 2 for a reason, play with a team, not like a lone wolf.

Do not try to kill robots over collecting the cash as a Scout or money Spy

As a Scout (or money Spy), collecting cash is your main job. Trying to shoot over doing so will result in (in the worst case) not getting the bonus 100$ everyone wants!

"But I really want to kill robots!"

I didn't say that you CAN'T kill robots. You can! But you should also collect money while doing so, and this can be very hard, because most Scouts if they miss/didn't one shot the robot, they just follow the robot trying to kill him, leaving the money on the floor. Because of this, if you miss the robot or not one shot him, just leave him alone, and collect the money, shooting more robots in your way.

By the way you should have a Soldier/Demo/Engie/Sniper/other class which should kill robots.

Don't try to play without a money collector

Do you want to finish a wave with this score?


No?

Then don't even try to play without a money collector (Scout or Spy). Not doing so will result in ending the wave with ~$300 missed, as you seen in this picture, which is NOT GOOD! And you probably dont want to fight 10 Giant Rapid Fire Soldiers with only +25 health on kill, yeah?

Don't hesitate to pick up money when your money collector is dead or money is in a weird spot

Dead Scouts are, badly, very common. Lots of Scouts forget about upgrading resistances (they mostly upgrade their scattergun), which results in fast death when trying to get that $4. So, if you are a different class (and you should), a short walk to the $4 shouldnt hurt (unless a GIANT CRITBOOSTED BOWMAN JUST JUMPED OUT!). Bah, it even should help, because the more people grab the cash, the more chance to get the extra $100.

Sometimes also moneys drop in a weird spot (for example in a walley). If your scout cant find that cash, collect it if you see it.

Money is good guys. Collect it.

Don't think that you can suck

Some people, if they get kicked from a MVM match, they simply dont play mvm anymore because they are, simply, scared. Howewer, not all players are so rude, which means next time you can play with these players.

Thinking that you can suck will, obviously, make you suck. Just stop thinking about it and you will do fine.

Don't play on a higher difficulty than you should be on

Read this, new players: Just because you played 3 games doesn't mean you are ready for expert. Its not like expert bots on training. It is something waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more tougher.

Slowly make your way through missions. It's recommended to go on normal to practice. It's easy for unskilled, new players who feel an uncontrollable urge to beat some metallic ass. Intermediate is recommended for players who've played a good, fair amount of normal missions and feel like stepping up their robot-ass-kicking career. Playing on advanced requires playing many normal and intermediate missions, knowing your loadouts and which classes to play. Expert is only recommended for players who know almost everything about MvM and are prepared to lose A LOT, not mentioning Wave 666, which is more tough than a diamond.

Don't kick the money collector just because he missed 3-10 credits

Doing so is probably the most nooby move in the whole MVM universe. Most idiot noobs, if the money collector misses $3, they kick him, which mostly results ending the next wave with missing $200, or not ending the wave at all.

Before you kick, please think what would this do to your team. Maybe your scout would get an A+ next wave? But nooo, you had to kick that scout!

Don't be rude/horrible to other players

Many noobs want to be "3p1( 4w5umm" and swear at everyone like a gangsta for no reason. The best way to fix it is simply kicking him.

If a player is doing badly, don't be rude at him, just simply teach him shortly what he is doing bad.

Just because something is viable doesn't mean it's worth doing or choosing over the optimal

We don't care if you completed wave 666 as a rocket jumper+gunboats+equalizer soldier, because you obviously got carried. No one cares about that one time you sandman+flying guillotine combo'd an uber medic. Just because you won with 6 demoknights doesn't mean you should go demoknight instead of actual demoman.

Don't overdo support classes

Nobody likes having a team with 2 snipers or 1 spy and a medic. So please, have only one support class in your team.

Imagine your team as a skeleton (Engie, Scout and Heavy), meat (Soldier, Demo, Pyro) and liver (Medic, Sniper, Spy). You can survive without a liver, but they can make digestion easier(they aid the rest of the team in their job). A recommended team composition would be this: 3 DIFFERENT skeletons (heavy, engineer, scout), 2 DIFFERENT 'meats' (soldier, demoman, pyro) and 1 'liver' (Medic, Sniper, Spy). If you do this in ingame... You'll have the basic team structure. You'll have 2 of the 'meat' classes, which allows you to provide more damage and some support in some cases, and you'll have one liver, which is almost completely important for supporting the team. This goes hand in hand with the human body itself, aswell.

Don't hate on support classes

Medics, snipers and spies are NOT useless/horrible classes. People just say that because they can't play these classes/most of people playing them are noobs or have wrong loadout.

If someone picks one of the support classes, GIVE HIM A CHANCE. Maybe he is a good player. If you win the wave with the support player's contributions, let him continue gameplay. Howewer, if he plays horribly, feel free to warn him/kick him/make him change his class.

Don't ready immediately after joining, or buying something from Upgrade Station

Self explainatory. Most noobs, if they finally find out the f4 button, they simply press it right after they joined, or after upgrading...

Don't forget about pressing F4

...while most other noobs don't press f4 at all, even if everyone else readied. I don't know why noobs don't do that, even though it is written "F4 - ready" in big bold white letters, right below the wave information.

They probably don't want robots to attack Mann Co.

Do not demand everyone else to press f4

People saying "f4" or "all f4" are very common, and they are doing very bad. Demanding everyone to press f4 is not good!

Imagine that you are an Engineer, you just left the Upgrade Station, and you didn't even reach the point you want to place your sentry at but 5 other players in the server press f4 and spam the chat with "engie f4", "f4 or kick" etc. Do you think that is good?

Nope.avi?

Then don't do that.

Howewer, you can demand someone to press f4, but only if the person which didnt press f4 is a noob and doesnt know about the mystic ready button. Only.

Don't ready up before the engineer does so

I have, for some reason, explained that before. If your Engie didn't even pootispenser here, and you pressed f4, there is a chance that you will start the mission weakened, without a sentry.

Do you want that?

Nope.wmv?

Then don't do that.

PUSH IT ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Don't upgrade things that you know you won't need

This is pretty much self explainatory. Upgrading stuff like jump height on heavy, health regen on medic or health on kill on fan o war is in most cases a waste of cash you could spend to buy a new canteen, or a more useful upgrade.

If you have, for example 200$ left and the thing you want to upgrade costs for example 400$, you can either buy something which is cheaper (and not useless), or wait til you get the 400$ and then buy the upgrade you want the most.

Don't hog canteens

I...have no idea how to explain this.

The canteens might help you deal some more damage in bursts but will lower the DPS you could get with upgrades over time. It costs 400.000$ 400 to upgrade most weapon's damage by 20%, the same cost of 4 crit canteens. Do you prefer 20% extra damage for the whole game or triple damage for 20 seconds?

Note: This is not a rethoric question, triple damage for 20 seconds is not bad but it could cripple you later in the game.

Don't use the canteens...

• ...when you don't need it
  
  This applies to both accidental, and on-purpose canteens.
  
  Some noobs use those canteens because they think they might do something, while they are basically useless (ex. ammo before starting the wave, uber on a tank, etc)
  
  
• ...on weapons not compatible with them
  
  Yes, there are weapons not compatible with some canteens. These are, for example, Cow Mangler 5000 (crit), Sentry Gun (ammo) and almost all Dr. Grodbort's weapons excluding Phlogistinator (ammo)
  
  Howewer, you can use those canteens if you have those weapons, but only on weapons compatible with them (if you have any equipped)
  
  
• ...if you will get an effect of it later/already under effect on it
  
  Activating a, for example, ammo canteen when an ammo pack is like 5 feet away is simply waste of canteen, isn't it?

Don't have an action item other than the canteen in mvm

Tell me, how can High-Five help your team? And, do you get uber when you have Schadenfreunde equipped?

There are a lot of noobs which think something like "♥♥♥♥ canteens, i want to wear a shred alert", and doing so is like declining to have a minigun because you want to kill zombies with fists.

Don't do that. Unless you are an expert mvm player and know what are you doing, then feel free to spam noise makers all around the map

Power-Up Canteen, helping MVM teams since 2012!

So you're thinking of delving into the robot horde. You're thinking of dealing damage, then all of a sudden, KA-BOOM. You're dead. Think of it like this: You just jumped into a pit of giant soldiers and demomen. Look before you leap:-

Firstly...

Don't jump into battle with low health. You'll get killed easily from any robot. Make sure you have enough health, preferably above 2/3 of your max health. If not look for any medics, dispensers or health packs nearby.

Don't jump into battle with low ammo. You wont be able to deal damage with no ammo. And no damage means more robots. And more robots means more bomb progress. And more bomb progress means an explosion in one of mann co's bombholes. Make sure you have sufficient ammo. Ammo can be collected from fallen weapons, ammo boxes and dispensers. Choose these wisely, dispenser can give to all but soldiers using the beggar's bazooka. Give any ammo packs to beggar's bazooka soldiers, snipers and engineers IF they need it.

Don't jump into battle without backup. This is often performed by cocky players who think they're 2pr0 to be killed. KNOW YOUR LIMITS - There's only so much one class can do themselves. Make sure you're near where your team is and call for help if you get in trouble. Jumping into a battle with many robots alone is like facing 15 heavies whilst you're playing as medic. It's just not possible.

Don't ignore the robot indicator on your HUD. Knowing which robots are coming is crucial. It tells you whether 3 scouts are coming or 50 giant heavies are coming. Setup accordingly and buy upgrades accordingly. Be ready for explosives or bullets, buy resistances when you need them. If there's some giant soldiers, buy blast resistance. The level of which you should upgrade varies from class to class. With power classes needing less and more frail classes needing more. Devise a plan for your team if you have to!

Don't go head to head with a giant robot. Doing this is a surefire way to get killed. Giants have large power, enough to take down you, unless you're prepared. Before doing this you should check what giant robot you're up against. If it's a giant scout variant, you'll need 2 or 3 players to handle it. It's speed can get past your defenses in seconds. If it's a giant soldier, charged soldier or rapid-fire soldier, you'll need 2-3 players to take it down. If it's a giant burst-fire, which only appears on bone shaker and broken parts, you'll need your entire team's cooperation to take it down. If it's a giant pyro variant, you'll need around 2 players. A giant demoknight and giant rapid-fire one can be taken down by 3 players. A giant heavy can be taken down by around 4 players and a giant medic and it's pocket requires the full team's cooperation to take down.

Don't use melee. There are a few exceptions to this, you can go all out with fan-o-war, sandman with mark for death, upgraded demo's weapons if you need a short crit boost from killing a lone spy/sniper, engineer's wrench, third degree+crit or uber canteen to pop octoheavies, medic's ubersaw and spy's knives. Now that's out of the way, using melee on a powerful robot such as a giant is a one way ticket to pain. Because all other weapons out-DPS melee, melee is impractical and inaffective against robots. Think of it like this, you could do 65 damage to 5 enemies at once, or you could do 65 damage to 1 enemy at once.

Don't attack the god-forsaken uber medics! Actually, do attack them. And only attack them if you've got something that can instantly kill them! Uber medics tend to be really annoying and can mess up near perfect games. The things that can instantly kill an uber medic are:
Crockets (Crit-boosted rockets)
Demo's sticky traps
Sniper's headshots
Spy's backstabs
If any of these aren't performed on an uber medic, it's most likely he will activate his uber. If he does activate his uber, a pyro with airblast or a heavy with knockback rage can hinder the uber medic's progress. Be wary, once their uber's worn off, they can still gain uber from healing their pockets. Another type of uber medic regenerates their uber 4 times as fast. But they have -3s uber duration, which is 3 seconds less waiting time to beat the living crap out of them.

DON'T attack Sentry Busters. Doing so only wastes ammo, and they can be easily avoided by not staying near them. The only exceptions is if you want to use them for utility, like getting uber with the ubersaw or getting a banner up as Soldier.

DON'T underestimate a Giant Medic. Giant Medics are clinically proven to be harmful to bomb hatches. Here's the following things you should know about them. They have 4,500 health. They will activate their uber only when they get below 43 health. Uber medics will do the same trick when below 43 health. Their uber can be avoided by them being finished off by a backstab, a headshot, a crit rocket or a sticky trap. DON'T attack a Giant Medic's heal target! It only makes their uber build faster, which means bad news for you.

DON'T ignore anything that would seem like a threat to you and your team. Now this doesn't apply to scouts. If you see something like a giant heading towards you and your teammates, everyone's gotta do their part. This means you too, so if you see something suspicious like this, don't hesitate to attack it. The only exception to this would be if your team is struggling near the hatch to defend of incoming robots.

DON'T ignore gatebots!
This is unique to Mannhattan. This rule can be ignored on any other map. Gatebots will rush over to the gates on mannhattan and capture them, completely ignoring the bomb. Unless the bomb is past the gate itself, it's best to try and kill these if you can. Make sure you have at least one power class (i.e soldier) monitoring the above corridoor to stop gatebots getting through.

And finally...

Don't ignore anything the announcer says!. Just like PvP. The announcer KNOWS what's going on, whether you're on BLU or RED. On MvM she'll only mention things to red. Which is the team you're on. Here's some things players tend to ignore... "Alert! There are spies coming!", "An engineer bot has entered the area!", "Engineer bot destroyed, now, take down it's teleporter!", "Now, get to an upgrade station before they return!", I find these are most commonly ignored. Engineers MUST be killed. They have a large health pool (125-500) and build a sentry that almost instantly goes to level 3, and build a teleporter that teleports robots in, on top of this, robots gain a 5 seconds uber from being teleported in! Spies are annoying and can wipe out your entire team if they appear in numbers. If you're a pyro or spy yourself, do us a favour and kill them. Finally, some players have a tendency to kill engineers then completely ignore their teleporters, allowing for robots to push behind the player's defences. Finally, many players don't go to an upgrade station. Why?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t348e24vDyA
Whenever a wave ends, go to an upgrade station and spend any money, but use it wisely, you never know what you're gonna face next...

Scout:
• Don't avoid collecting cash. You get health by getting money.
  
• Espicially on Decoy and Coaltown, don't snipe with your scattergun/pistol/bat. Doing so deals little damage and griefs the team.
  
• Don't chase a single robot. Doing so may result in losing money.
  
• Avoid upgrading your scattergun and bat (except the mark for death and ammo for Sandman)
  
• Don't force other classes to collect money, unless you are dead.
  
• Avoid buying buyback, because in most cases it is a waste of $10, which may be spent on resistances.
  
  Soldier:
  
• DON'T USE THE ROCKET JUMPER!!!!unless you go Bison soldier but do it only if you are an expert and not playing Mann Up
  
• Don't activate the buff when you are far away from teammates, and when you have already activated buff, don't run away.
  
• If there is a giant in the map, don't ignore the giant by killing smaller robots.
  
• Did I mention that you can't use the rocket jumper?Look at the spoiler above
  
  Pyro:
  
• Don't W+M1! It's in most cases ineffective and will mostly result in you being dead.
  
• Don't ignore the spy-bots! If spies spawn, start spy checking.
  
• Don't avoid projectiles coming in your direction! This may result in doing damage to your teammate, or destroying a sentry nest. If a projectile comes in your direction, AIRBLAST IT.
  
• Don't airblast the bomb carrier into a pit (Decoy, Mannworks and Bigrock) if the bomb carrier is at level 2/3! This will make it harder for teammates to destroy the robot. If the bomb carrier is at level 2/3, kill it, let another robot pick up the bomb, then push it into the pit. This doesn't apply to Coaltown pits.
  
• Don't ignore burning teamates. Remember to check for teamates that are on fire.
  
  Demoman:
  
• DON'T USE THE STICKY JUMPER!!!!
  
• If you are on Advanced or Expert (expecially Mann Up), avoid demoknighting. Demoknighting makes you less useful for the team.
  
• Don't use crit canteens to lay stickybombs if there is a Kritz Medic in your team! This will result in wasting money.
  
• Don't forget that you have a Grenade Launcher!
  
• Did I mention that you can't use the sticky jumper?
  
  Heavy:
  
• Don't waste the rage on a tank, since it does NOTHING, and only makes you deal less damage.
  
• Don't run away from a dispenser! It's one of the most important things for you.
  
• Use the rage ONLY when the enemy stands near a pit, or you will lose valuable damage.
  
• Don't forget that you can throw your Sandvich to teammates!
  
• Don't rage on a Giant Medic if it has low health! It can throw off your medic picker and make the medic pop his uber most of the time.
  
  Engineer:
  
• Don't upgrade your shotgun/pistol! Doing so only wastes money.
  
• Always place a teleporter! Not doing so only weakens your team.
  
• If placing a sentry, NEVER place a dispenser nearby. If there is a heavy, place a dispenser near him.
  
• Don't place a sentry right near the robot or sniper spawn. It will result in losing your sentry very quickly, or making your sentry useless.
  
• If a tank spawns, DON'T shoot it with your shotgun/pistol/wrench! Focus on the robots instead, or if there is no robot in map, move the sentry along the tank.
  
• If a Sentry Buster spawns, DON'T leave the sentry alone! If the buster is about to explode, move it away, then place it back in the place it was before.
  
• Don't place a teleporter exit near spawn and teleporter entrance near your sentry nest (unless you have 2 way teleporters). This will make you useless to the team.
  
• DON'T PLACE A SENTRY NEAR THE BOMB HATCH!!! Always try to keep your sentry near the bomb spawn.
  
• Don't detonate sentry busters near teamates! It will kill them instantly.
  
  Medic:
  
• Don't play medic! He sucks in MVM.
  
• Avoid shooting or sawwing the enemies unless you have Ubersaw! The team needs you to HEAL, not to KILL Again, unless you have Ubersaw, as it can give you valuable uber (obviously).
  
• If there is a Sticky Demo in your team, always uber him to make him pop crit bombs in setup. Don't uber anyone else during the setup.
  
• Don't upgrade your syringe gun (unless mad milk syringes) and saw! This will result in losing money.
  
• Avoid ubering classes which don't focus on dealing damage (Scouts, Medics) or are useless during uber (Engineer, Sniper, Spy)
  
• Don't syringe or saw the tank!
  
• Don't waste your uber pr0 shield on weak robots like scouts or spies! Even though it recharges rather fast, it is strongly advised to keep it for the soldier hordes or giants.
  
• Don't abuse reviving! While its rather good to revive players, it's still strongly advised to stay with the power class and revive only then that class doesn't need healing, and you don't have death risk.
  
  Sniper:
  
• Use your Jarate! Not using it may result in a giant killing everyone and making the bomb explode.
  
• It is good to play some training on PVP and improve your aim as a Sniper by banging as much headshots as you can.
  
• Don't throw Jarate at small robots! Doing so is only a waste of Jarate.
  
• Don't rush the robots with your melee! Doing so results in you being dead.
  
  Spy:
  
• DON'T USE THE YOUR ETERNAL REWARD!!!! The disguise on backstab only works on human targets!
  
• Dead Ringer should be the only watch you should be using. Do not use any other watches, as they are useless.
  
• Do not sap small groups of robots (2-3)! Doing so results in wasting a sapper.
  
• Remember that robots will always be fooled of your disguise, no matter if you are disguised as a Heavy, Pyro or Scout. Just don't disguise as a teammate.
  
• Don't attack the tank unless it's the last robot in a wave, or there is no robot nearby.
  
• Don't forget that you have a gun! It may save your ass some times!
  
• Don't disguise as a heavy, soldier or demoman cause it will slow you down.

Decoy:
• I don't know why, but this map and Bigrock are the most common maps where engies decide
  to hang back and place a sentry near the hatch. DON'T DO THAT.
  
  Coaltown:
  
• The most hated trail robots take when carrying the bomb is the one on the right, upstairs. People hate this trail because there are no pits. Trying to push the bomb carrier off the trail and trying to move him into the pit will mostly end up shortening his way to the bomb hole.
  
• If a pyro is trying to push the bomb carrier to the pit, do not kill the carrier! This would end up not having the bomb resetted, thus having more chance to lose.
  
  Mannworks:
  
• There are no good sniper locations. It is very good to not play sniper, unless you know where to snipe.
  
  Bigrock:
  
• Do not rush into engiebot's sentry nest! Doing so will result in you being dead by either sentry or robots coming out from the teleporter.
  
• If a robot is coming out from the spawn, do not push him back in, or this will result in longer killing the robot (especially if the robot is a boss)
  
• Teleporter is IMPORTANT on this map. Not having it will result in walking long time to defend the bomb, or in worse case it will result in failure.
  
  Mannhattan:
  
• Don't hang back, that is don't defend point B if robots spawn from main spawn, or don't defend main spawn if robots spawn from point A.
  
• Tank buster is not needed for this map, because there are no tanks in any mission on this map (due to lack of spawn, citation needed)
  
  Rottenburg:
  
• Keep in mind that near the robot spawn, there is an another Upgrade Station. Use it!
  
• Dont play this mission without a tank buster! This mission is infamous for having a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of tanks, and the last wave of intermediate and one of advanced missions has 4 and 3 tanks respectively, along with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of robots.

This is a very cool list listing the weapons you should NOT be using in TF2:

Scout:
• Shortstop. Even with this equipped, for some reason, it doesn't give you extra health from money. And money is technically counted as a healthpack. So you're using something that is more effective at long range than it is at short range that gives you an 40% vulnerability to knockback. And you shouldn't be at long range. But you will be at long range. Because you'll get knocked back so much.
  
• Scout pistols. They are basically useless because you already have the Scatter, Winger gives you more jump height that you will not even need because of jump height upgrade, and Pretty Boy gives you more vulnerabilty to fire. The ONLY SINGLE EXCEPTION TO THIS is when you do not have mad milk or bonk on you. And if you don't have bonk/mad milk, it's recommended you don't play scout at all.
  
• Guillotine. It has bleed, but IT APPLIES TO ONLY ONE ROBOT. Also you are not a damage class.
  
• Crit a Cola. Scout is not a damage class, and your team is way better off with 60% of damage is returned as health than just a 35% damage boost for you and no one else.
  
• Every bat except sandman and fan o war. Bat has no advantages, candy cane gives you more explosive vulnerabilty and drops useless medkits which you will not need because of money giving health, boston gives you useless bleed and hurts you when miss, sun on a stick is not needed because all robots on fire will die sooner or later, atomizer is useless because you can always have more jump height and wrap assasin doesn't have the mark for death unlike sandman.
  
  Soldier:
  
• Direct Hit. As a soldier, splash damage is important, and this launcher has none. Got buffed with the new rocket specialist upgrade and its +15% blast radius per point, but it's still outshined by launchers like black box, stock or bazooka.
  
• Rocket Jumper. Nuff said.
  
• Every secondary except buff banner and bison. Shotgun doesnt help the team, you will never need to rocket jump (thats why you dont need gunboats and mantreads), defensive buff from battalion is useless because you can buy resistances and you already have milk, so you will not need concheror.
  
• Pain Train. There is nothing to cap in MVM, so dont use it.
  
• Half Zatoichi. You will most likely die before getting the 100% health. And you cant switch back before killing.
  
• Market Gardener. You will never need to rocket jump in MVM, so the crits are useless.
  
  Pyro:
  
• Degreaser. The most infamous flamethrower in PVP is useless in MVM. Why? Because it deals less damage, and you will rarely use the secondary and melee. And thrust me, degrextinguisher sucks for mvm.
  
• Sharpened Volcano Fragment. You already have flamethrower and flare gun, so you dont need a melee which ignites players.
  
  Demoman:
  
• Sticky Jumper. Nuff said.
  
• Splendid Screen. The resistances are weaker than in targe, and dat bump thing will not make much of a use. Dont use it, even if you go Pure Demoknight.
  
• Pain Train. There is nothing to cap in MVM, so don't use it.
  
• Claidheamh Mor. The +0,5 sec charge is barely visible, and its plain useless without targe.
  
  Heavy:
  
• Natasha. The enemy slowdown is barely visible, and it deals less damage!
  
• Tomislav. Faster spin up is barely visible, and you should actually always stay spinned up near a dispenser. Also less firing speed? Ded.
  
• Huo Long Heater. I guess you don't want to run for ammo more commonly than with a default minigun, do ya?
  
• Any secondary except Sandvich. You will barely need the Shotgun, Chocolate doesn't give much health and you can't drop it to players, and steak doesn't allow you to use the thrusty Minigun.
  
• Eviction Notice. Dat faster firing rate (which can be upgraded!) is nothing compared to lower damage it has, so dont use it.
  
  Engineer:
  
• Gunslinger. Please, MINI SENTRY? It will die before you will even build it! Also can't you waste 500$ to buy a Mini Sentry to companion your Level 3?
  
• Eureka Effect. Tell me, how can you move the thrusty Sentry if a Sentry Buster just spawned?
  
  Medic:
  
• Blutsauger. Smaller regeneration? Ouch! Health on hit? You shouldnt even hit!
  
• Any secondary except Kritzkrieg (probably with the expection of the Quick Fix after update). The team needs DAMAGE, not ubercharge/smaller ubercharge/resistances. And you can already give ubercharge through share canteens upgrade, for cheaper price than giving crits when holding stock medigun.
  
• Vita Saw. If you are not a lazy medic, you will never need the ubercharge on death.
  
• Amputator. Can't you just heal your teammates to max their health faster, and get uber btw?
  
• Solemn Vow. You shouldn't even CARE about the robots health, so why have it?
  
  Sniper:
  
• Huntsman. Most people think that this bow is pretty good for mvm (worse, someone even reccomended it for me), but actually it SUCKS. No explosive headshots? You kidding me?
  
• Any secondary except Jarate. SMG? You already have a Melee. Razorback? Heck no. Darwin? Upgrade store. Cozy Camper? The low sway is useless because you will rarely get hit.
  
• Shahanshah. If you are low on health, you should run for a medkit, not cut robots to death.
  
• Tribalman's Shiv. Another weapon with useless bleed.
  
  Spy:
  
• Your Eternal Reward. If you stab a robot, you WILL NOT get his disguise. This makes the knife as useless as hats noobs.
  
• Kunai. 60 HP? OUCH! ONE ROCKET IN FACE AND YOU ARE DEAD!
  
• Any watch except Dead Ringer. The Invis and C&D just doesn't work on robots, and you will get killed before you dare to escape. And your disguise is already your "invisibilty", since robots will NEVER spy check unless you get into enemy fire, or the robot sees you stabbing his mate.

Don't trade/craft/chat with someone/eat food/AFK in the middle of the wave

Nobody likes seeing a player which just stands in spawn, not doing anything. So:

* If someone sends you a trade request, accept it if you want to, but crtl+tab away, wait ~30 secs, then crtl+tab in to see what the guy you trade with has added/said in trade chat. If he didnt say anything, crtl+tab out, fight for ~30 secs and repeat.
* If you want to trade with someone, wait til the wave ends or leave the mission.
* If you want to craft something, wait til wave ends or leave the mission.
* If you want to chat with someone, do what you would do if someone sent you a trade request.
* If you want to AFK, warn your team about doing so before afking. This may prevent you from being kicked. Howewer it is better to wait til wave ends or leave the mission.

Don't ragequit after failure

Most people, if they fail a mission ONCE, they simply leave the game. Doing so ruins the fun for everybody, especially if the ragequitting person is a good player.

Remember that human body schematic we mentioned in previous sections (Scout, Heavy and Engie as skeleton, Soldier, Pyro and Demo as meat and Medic, Sniper and Spy as organ)? Now imagine that you are, for example, an Engineer, and your team loses the wave. So you ragequit, and the part of skeleton you were doesn't exist now, leaving the rest of the body weak.

Don't rage that the mission you are playing on is too hard

MVM is not training. Its serious business now. Especially if playing on Expert, dont rage in chat/voice chat that mission is too hard. It may result in being kicked/muted.

Even worse, don't blame it to Valve on Steam Discussions/Steam Community. It may result in the thread getting removed, blocked by a mod, or in worse cases you may get banned from the discussions and nobody would like you, which may prevent from having fun in MVM...

Yup, this is the end of the guide. You have (probably) learned about stuff you shouldn't do in MVM, tactics and stuff to help you get better. Now go play some MVM and show the world that you can play!

Also check out our other guides:
http://www.steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=192611006#207612
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=180669515

And check out our group:

http://www.steamcommunity.com/groups/teamfortress2guides

The pictures were randomly found in Google/TF2 wiki. The f4 and mentality graphics were made by The Killer Duck in Paint, while the screenshot in cash section was taken by Interruptor.
/guide