Is Mordhau feeling a bit bland already?

After surveying the new Memescape of the small map pool, current inhabitants and the brain damage whining all over the forums are things feeling a bit disenchanted?

Have you gotten all the achievements?

Has your Frontline team come back from a losing position to win a match with just 1 extra life left, 1-0 victory?

Have you gotten 100 kills in a match and now wander aimlessly?











Well there may be a solution, Aikido Shafting. MordhAikido.


























Is it not a greater display of Power to refrain from executing 100 foes a match, even though it is EZkid420 within your ability, and instead give 100 assists of Divine Love to the weak Beta/Chads around you?

Those, AlphOmega Philosopher Kings, who are possessed by nothing possess everything. It is to these Members of One Family, I encourage to go for the 0-0-100 Aikido Shafting Achievement, for they alone can do so.

Zero kills: Blend the breath of Heaven and the breath of Earth with that of your own, becoming the breath of life itself.






















Zero deaths: A wise Philosopher, around 1350, said “Can’t touch this.” Even as an old man of Rank 80, you can disarm any foe, down any number of attackers, and pin an opponent with a single finger. After defeating a high-ranking swordsman by avoiding all his cuts and thrusts, return to your garden where Golden Vapor (a TK firepot meme from a Bard) wells up from the ground and engulfs you and transforms you into a Golden Image. Your body will become as light as a feather and all at once the Nature of Creation will become clear. The Way of the Warrior is to manifest Divine Love, a spirit that embraces and nurtures all things. Revelation, the entire Earth your home, the Sun, Moon, Stars and Saturn your intimate friends.












100 Assists: Reconciliation, Harmony, Cooperation, and Empathy can be applied bravely to all challenges. You know you are untouchable but at first a lesser will not and the only way to teach the stupid is through pain. Give them the Shaft, but only a few times. Remember, zero kills. Then allow a less enlightened, more ravenous (TK happy-Brain Damaged) brother to smash, injure, destroy and Sin. Then hope he too can one day awake and free himself of Sin and ascend to Aikido Shafting.















Just head for the light and heat, learn from the gods, and through the virtue of devoted Aikido Shafting, become one with the Divine.

Fireproof: Extra Protection from Trogdor the Bardinators.












Friendly: Extra Protection from “allies” of the sloppy job kind.
















Dodge: Satiate the in and out urge with skill and confidence

3-3-3 Armor: Never Die Easy, Illuminoobie Full half stop redaction numerology?





















Quarterstaff: Stick of Truth…. couldn’t afford the Full version after taxation and inflation.












Sun and Moon: Saturn ascends choose 1 or 10.










Make sure to always grab any ownerless lutes laying around. LOOT TEH LUTE. Maidens love it, nubs hate it, if that isn't Yin Yang Bang I don't know what is.


























ALTERNATION MODIFICATION CONSIDERATIONS

Second Wind: To some, all night long isn’t a meme.













Tenacious: Porphyria? Buy blood for $8000 a liter.















Brawler: Kung Pow Enter The Fist. Chosen One! I’m Coming!












Some quality wololo in the comments suggested healing ability too.










Bandage: Last resort after all the Jet and Stims are gone.













Medic Bag: I knew a space medic once...














No Space Medic Grill Model? Ded Gaem !!!

Give 'em The Stick Don't Give 'em The Stick.
(Video form for the illiterate and Diverse among us)

Relax, Femanons, you know I <7 you. Here is a temporary solution using some imagination. Like that one girl in that movie about hobbits and ring orcs or something.











A lot of people seem to be after realism. So, here is for trying to please everyone.

Some people seem to enjoy reading forums and getting upset more than actually playing the game…
Well, try reading a book instead of forum brain damage. Look inward and chill out.

Dev bros have it under control. Many people with thousands of Chiv hours are Thought Hammering.

As always, feel free to add me on steam. As you can clearly see, I take everything way to seriously and can't laugh at myself or anyone else. Mordhau is great for large groups of friends and, like Chiv, the more you have the more fun the game is. My region is US WEST but I like meeting people from all over the world. I have plenty more book recommendations too.

Enjoy your games!