Store Page
Secret of the Magic Crystal
All Discussions Screenshots Artwork Broadcasts Videos News Guides Reviews

Secret of the Magic Crystal

Store Page
Secret of the Magic Crystal > Guides > The Omega's Guides
131 ratings
How to Horse Correctly to Recieve Moneys
By The Omega
This will teach you how to horse to recieve moneys in the GOTY-Secret of the Magic Crystal.
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
Created by
The Omega
Offline
Category: Gameplay Basics
Languages: English
Posted
Updated
28 Nov, 2013 @ 6:42am
25 Dec, 2013 @ 3:59pm
1,881 Unique Visitors
49 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
Step 1 
Step 2 
Step 3 
FAQ 
Step 4 
 
Comments
Step 1
To correctly horse, you must become one with the horse. You may practice this by simply sitting on your living room floor and quietly whimpering "Horse. Horse. Horse." For no more than 10 hours. Now you are one.
Step 2
Now that you have achieved maximum fusion with the horse overlords, make sure to turn off any lights in the room. Lock your doors, and tell your neighbors you are going on vacation. Stock up on canned goods, and prepare a waste bucket for excrement. You will have to play the game for long periods on end in order to correctly recieve moneys. Now, block everyone on your steam friends list. NO DISTRACTIONS, THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL. You are now ready to boot up the Secret of the Magic Crysyal.
Step 3
Now steam should let you know that the game is preparing to launch. This is good. Buckle up, cause your in for an amazin experience. The game should send you to the main menu, which has many overwhelming options. Select new game, and choose the correct gender. PICKING THE WRONG GENDER MAY RESULT IN IMMEDIATE DEATH
FAQ
Bananas can be very hard to deal with. Make sure to bring an iron cross and a M9 Beretta into your abode with you. It will be needed to protect yourself.

Obamacare can be a very big problem. Watch out for the liberals.

Step 4 coming soon!
Step 4
Now for this next time, you should be hearing the voices. Let them speak. They are good. The black lining around your eyes should be pulsing. You are horsing correctly. Now for the next step, you need a copy of Pokemon Gold. Once you acquire the copy of this classic Gameboy Color Title, you need to get a red chord-phone. Like the phone the president of the United States uses. Once you have done this, begin to repeadtly slam the copy of Pokemon Gold into the phone, creating loud noises.

And Merry Christmas.
34 Comments
< >
Unicornzilla 22 Dec, 2024 @ 3:23pm 
This is one of the funniest guides i've read on steam :slimehappy:
Archibald Pusterwitz 3 Jul, 2018 @ 11:42am 
It's the slow descend into madness - but with unicorns, so it's all good :steamhappy:
Jacobella 28 Jun, 2018 @ 11:12am 
Best guide
spacejumper 9 Mar, 2018 @ 8:16am 
Is slamming the GBC cart into the phone making loud noises or are we supposed to be making loud noises while doing it?
Elliot Loves Critters 8 Jul, 2016 @ 10:42am 
LOL "Obamacare can be a very big problem. Watch out for the Liberals." Made my day.
The Omega  [author] 8 Jan, 2016 @ 12:36pm 
Look For the Lower Case 'L' And You
Will Be Kissed Tomorrow:
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLlLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLL
*Now Look For The Q And Your Wish
Will Come True:
... ... ... ... ... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O.. .OOOOOOOO
*This Is Really Hard, Now Find The 'N':
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
*Now Find The Mistake:
ABCDEFGHIJKLNMOPQRSTUVWQYZ
*Something You Really Want, After the
countdown!!!!!
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Now Close Your
Eyes And Make A Wish! ;*;*;*;*;*;* Now
Paste This On 9 pages And Your Wish
Will Come True! Hurry, You Have 20
minutes! Or What You Wished For Will
Be The Opposit
The Omega  [author] 29 Mar, 2015 @ 4:42pm 
I'm glad this guide helped so many people!!!
✧･ﾟ Aka ✧･ﾟ 1 Jan, 2015 @ 1:28pm 
Five minutes before, I discovered that game. Now, I'm reading that guide. Best New Year Ever! Best guide! 11/10
毕贤胜[Linux] 30 Nov, 2014 @ 8:19am 
best. guide. evar. !

十马/十虎。 would 马 around again.
Lovenought 21 Sep, 2014 @ 4:55am 
#Horsenirvana