These are just a few pieces of poetry, created for a bit of amusement after playing PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds (PUBG).




(If you liked some of these writings, then please rate this guide upwards.)

Literary disclaimer: The screenshots included in some sections may not quite match the associated story - I'll have to get some better ones to more closely match the text.

I dropped in very quickly
To an island quite remote;
I looted all the buildings,
Then left in a speedy boat

I travelled up the coastline,
To a quiet little town;
I was hoping for good loot,
But the RNG God let me down

I dashed over to a hot spot,
Which all deserted seemed to be;
I found some brilliant weapons
And some stuff at Level Three

I went on a massive rampage
(With my gear, I was a winner);
I wrecked all the other players
And then I had a chicken dinner

Creeping through a forest cold,
The discomfort’s but a trifle,
For other matters are on my mind,
As I carry a sniper rifle

My nerves are at their highest edge,
Enemies are in the valley below,
So I’m looking for a vantage point
Amongst the hilltop’s snow

I see movement in a building,
Someone’s hunting for some loot,
Not knowing that they’re the hunted,
As I’m getting ready to shoot

Through an open window I spy him,
As, left to right, I see him pass;
He’s lined up perfectly in my scope
Whilst I watch him through the glass

So I give the trigger a gentle squeeze,
As I’m holding in my breath,
My bullet flies, straight and true —
And one more enemy meets his death.

There’s only a few players left,
And, at the moment, I am hiding;
Should I sneak, or be a Rambo?
I think I’ll stay here while deciding

Being very stealthy is a tactic
Which might cop a bit of flak,
Though it works to stalk an enemy
And then shoot him in the back

You can charge around the map,
Being noisy and acting hyper —
But I think I’ll choose to be
A surreptitious sneaky sniper.

Into the field of battle
I parachute on down —
Determined to be the winner,
To wear the PUBG crown

Inside the farms and shacks
Hide my deadly foes —
I shoot them in the head,
And up my XP goes

My enemies fall before me,
I am almost in the lead;
Just one more fool to kill —
I’ll make the bastard bleed

I’m looking for the last one,
But he gets the final shot;
I’m shattered and I’m crying —
’Cos I think he was a bot!

I like the PUBG game,
Though the players are quite intense —
They’ll shoot me without mercy,
And then laugh at my expense

When I get into a firefight,
And don’t react quite fast enough,
Hotshot players cut me down
(Upon us noobs it’s rather rough)

But now they’ve included bots,
Which keeps the queues fast-moving,
And it gives some easier kills,
Of which I’m quite approving

When I consider my awful stats,
These bots now make amends;
For lesser players, like myself,
These bots are now our friends

For middling players in a game
It can be quite hard to advance;
But since we’ve got the bots,
At least now we’ve got a chance!

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