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but it seems that you forgot to wire the two ATM in front of the bank with a trap wire->alarm. (or is it intentional ?)
About the look of the preview picture - I suggest you always "window-dress" your map by adding extra floors or decorations in places where players can't go simply because that way the map looks more like a genuine building (it also attracts people to try it more).
The floors haven't been named, also a good thing to remember.
Here's a guide I read the first time I made a map for Monaco and it has been helping me immensely: https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=153597531
I honestly think your aesthetic sense in this level was very nice and I am sure you are going to make some very cool maps if you keep this up! Take this trophy and go forth!
Definitely a good first map, I have to admit. The preview picture is not very charming, but it's not the worst since it actually uses an environment. The approach is obviously very limited to just one route, but I absolutely loved some aesthetics you had, and I actually was motivated to use one (you used actual curtain-doors in front of a window, I loved that, and I will definitely try that myself sometimes).
There was way too much loot on the map - at the end I could kill everyone with the wrench and still have enough to even wrench into bushes. You should always try balancing the loot so that players can't abuse weapons too much. The level is extremely easy at this point, but the design definitely at least doesn't leave the player stuck.