You load up Hoi4 for the first time. You select new game, choose the 1936 start date, and immediately select Germany and hit the start button. By this point you've already made a few mistakes. But don't worry, I'm here to help!

Now, by that point you've made 3 mistakes.
1. You never wanna use the 1936 start date, real chads use the 1939 start.
2. Playing as Germany on your first game? No, that's an awful decision. What you wanna be playing, is the amazing nation... of Afghanistan.
3. Starting your game without even taking a peek at the custom game rules? Really? You might as well just leave right now. I genuinely think you're beyond helping.

Now that you have been educated on the best way to start the game, you'll be in the pilot's seat of the glorious nation of Afghanistan. At this point you might be asking, "JSF, Why Afghanistan? What could be so amazing about that country?" And to this I respond, everything. As Afghanistan you start in an isolated position, safe from colonisers which allow you to build up worry free, and right next to your first target; the puny nation of Iran.

Even though Iran might look much bigger than you, it means very little. You have many, many advantages against them! For example, you have better tech, more soldiers, and a slightly larger industry. The best move is to justify against Iran ASAP. They'll never knew what hit 'em.

Glory to Afghanistan, and you! Nice job at getting rid of those inferior Iranians. You have proved yourself to be an esteemed leader. But now you must deal with the rebellious citizens of what used to be Iran! Do not worry though, as you have also started with one of the most powerful tools at your disposal: A Calvary template! This will crush the rebels and you will soon rule Iran with an iron fist.
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You have disgraced Afghanistan, and you have doomed her people. You let the Iranians overrun you and have lost it all. I can't help you escape this, maybe submit it to Alex the Rambler as one of those disaster saves, but i don't think even he can help you. I'm surprised you haven't been overthrown yet- Oh! Do you hear that? I think it's the Iranian army, who've most likely come to execute you! Welp, gotta go!

Thank you dear viewer, and hopefully you succeeded. This is my first guide, so I offer my condolences to your now dead brain cells.