Endoparasitic

Endoparasitic

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How to kill a monkey
By WingedPug
Do you want to be able to use more than 25% of your weapons without a steriod-addled chimp charging you at mach 2? Do you crave its blood on your hands? Follow my guide and that ape will be a crumpled heap on the floor faster than you can say "Chunky Kong"!
   
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What you need:
  • A loaded flare gun.
  • A shotgun loaded with at least one shell (But preferably two).
  • A large room.
How to do it:
So you have the stuff, next you need the monkey. Crawl slowly in the direction of the snoring until you see it at the edge of your screen. Position yourself so the monkey is in an intercardinal[en.wiktionary.org] direction from you and there is a large space behind it. Unholster your flare gun, make sure you're more than an arm-length away and shoot it.

The monkey should run towards you for a moment, then run towards the flare that just shot through it. Take this moment while it's chasing the flare to holster your flare gun and pull out your shotgun. The monkey will start to roar and run in circles. If your flare did not travel far enough it may find you. If this happens, shoot it with the shotgun. If it survives it will rip you limb from limb, so you may need to try a few times. Remember to shoot the flare from an intercardinal[en.wiktionary.org] direction.

Once it stops howling, wait ten seconds or so for it to go back to idling. Holster your shotgun, crawl in the direction of your flare's movement and follow the snoring. Take out your shotgun and put a shell in it, it should die in one hit. If you don't want to go looking for it, wait for it to stop roaring and fire a shell in its general direction. It'll come find you.
Conclusion:
Hooray! You have killed a monkey! Celebrate by using your many loud guns with impunity.
7 Comments
el magito explosivo 26 Mar, 2024 @ 1:27pm 
oh and also i killed that one that is in the volts room,i did it with only a shotgun and no flares.
el magito explosivo 26 Mar, 2024 @ 1:06pm 
i destroyed monkay,ty i killed the first one u meet on the large corridor,u gotta be good at no failing with recoil
xburstangelx 18 Nov, 2022 @ 5:21am 
I always end up with having no ammo :/ really dunno how to proceed..any suggestions ? Got the feeling i`m doin`something wrong
superman.ning64 30 Oct, 2022 @ 12:52pm 
Thank you for making an achievement that isn't one
2ndRSam 29 Oct, 2022 @ 5:10am 
"limb from limb"
leftover limb from torso*
Riciboy21 28 Oct, 2022 @ 7:05am 
then monkey go boom
Riciboy21 28 Oct, 2022 @ 7:05am 
imagine this game has a rocket launcher