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Ballmer Baller achievement, step by step

By rarestMeow

no-nonsense guide detailing the installation of VirtualBox and Zorin OS for that wonderful achievement.

screenshot-heavy

Award

Created by

rarestMeow
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Category: Achievements, Characters, Classes, Co-op, Crafting, Game Modes, Gameplay Basics, Loot, Maps or Levels, Modding or Configuration, Multiplayer, Secrets, Story or Lore, Trading, Walkthroughs, Weapons, Workshop

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Posted

Updated

1 Jan, 2023 @ 4:12am

1 Jan, 2023 @ 5:47am

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Guide Index

Overview

foreword

VirtualBox

⠀⤷ download

⠀⤷ unpack

⠀⤷ launch

Zorin OS

⠀⤷ download ISO

⠀⤷ set ISO to VirtualBox

⠀⤷ start

installation

⠀⤷ launch

⠀⤷ language and updates

⠀⤷ partition

⠀⤷ timezone and account

⠀⤷ installation

repository

⠀⤷ remove ISO

⠀⤷ authentication

⠀⤷ launch repo

⠀⤷ sync repo

Steam

⠀⤷ search for

⠀⤷ install

⠀⤷ launch

⠀⤷ update and account

⠀⤷ ...and finally Postal

troubleshooting

Comments

foreword

Originally posted by Third Autist:
Originally posted by Another Autist:
Originally posted by Some Autist:
that achievement sucks
no u
u both gay

it is a straightforward guide on how to install VirtualBox + Zorin OS (Linux distro) in order to get that splendid achievement

just follow every step closely and pay attention to the screenshots. you will get that achievement in ~60min

requirements:

at least 13GB of free space
4GB RAM
256MB VRAM

⚠️ important ⚠️
if you managed to "stuck" inside VirtualBox, then:
...press WINKEY (right of CTRL)
...or RIGHT CTRL
...or RIGHT CTRL + C
...or RIGHT CTRL + H

VirtualBox

⠀⤷ download

download that archive[drive.google.com]

it is a portable VirtualBox. I already configured everything and created a profile for future Linux installment - you don't need to manually edit anything

that variant of VirtualBox doesn't modify your PC's network and leaves no services in startup

⠀⤷ unpack

you need 7-zip[www.7-zip.org] to unpack the archive

any folder will go, but better unpack closer to root folder like so and on SSD:

C:\ Portable \ VirtualBox \

⠀⤷ launch

look inside the archive for Portable-VirtualBox.exe file, double-click
it will launch the program, no need to install anything

Zorin OS

⠀⤷ download ISO

Zorin OS is a slick Linux distro that resembles Windows a lot. you don't need to be a terminal-guru to run that baby effectively

download ISO of Zorin OS Lite from official Zorin OS site. it is of ~2.7GB

⠀⤷ set ISO to VirtualBox

switch back to VirtualBox and look for bold black "Inaccessible" string in the middle

(IDE primary slave: [Optical-Drive] Zorin-OS.iso (Inaccessible)"

click on it ➞ "Choose Disk Image" ➞ select newly downloaded Zorin OS ISO

if you did it right then "Inaccessible" will go away and instead it will tell the size of ISO

⠀⤷ start

now just press the big green "START" button

installation

⠀⤷ launch

you will see black screen with a loading bar. leave it be
after that you will be asked whether you want to try OS or install it. select "Install Zoris OS"

⠀⤷ language and updates

first you will be asked for language. pick whatever you want or stick with English master-lingo
then you will be asked about updates and third-party drivers - deselect everything, you don't need them

⠀⤷ partition

next, the installer will ask the location of files
select "Erase disk and install Zorin OS", and continue further

⠀⤷ timezone and account

next step - pick your time zone
and finally create an account and password. use very simple password, like "1234", don't go fancy

⠀⤷ installation

and finally just wait for the installation to finish
at the end you will be asked to restart. click the only button there is

repository

⠀⤷ remove ISO

Zorin OS will ask you to remove installation medium. select above

"Device" ➞ "Optical Drives" ➞ "Remove disk from virtual drive"

then press ENTER

⠀⤷ authentication

you will be asked to type your password, do it and behold your cutesy-whimsy Linux machine
select "No thanks" to the suggestion to show you off

⠀⤷ launch repo

in the bottom left-corner look for "Software" icon, click it
your will be welcomed with big flashy popup. select "Let's go shopping"

⠀⤷ sync repo

Zorin OS will sync its software database with servers, give a minute

Steam

⠀⤷ search for

wait until sync is done. click on magnifying glass icon in top-left and type "Steam"
click on its entry.

⚠️ you need "Steam" not "Steam Installer"

⠀⤷ install

click on "Install" button and type your password again

⠀⤷ launch

when installation is completed, click on "Launch" button,
or just launch it from "Start" menu, as in Windows

⠀⤷ update and account

as usual let Steam client to update itself
and enter your credentials afterwards

⠀⤷ ...and finally Postal

now the only thing left is to visit your Library, download Postal and launch that game
you will get an achievement as soon as you enter main menu

afterwards, just close VirtualBox:

"File" ➞ "Close" ➞ "Power Off the Machine"

troubleshooting

in case if repository cannot be updated or Steam isn't been downloading...
...check that Network is online ("Device" -> "Network" -> "Connect Network Adapter")
...check that Zorin OS is connected to your Network
...check that your Firewall/Antivirus doesn't block VirtualBox's traffic

35 Comments

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神曲の人生 22 Jul @ 1:27am

So the joke with this achievement is related to the campaign against open-source software that Balmer had when he was the president of Microsoft. He even called linux cancer. You can look up Halloween documents or go to this reddit post .

MESSIRRO 12 Jul @ 4:21am

holy shit

Donowa 28 Jun @ 9:49pm

i used a steam deck to get the achievement, but this is a good guide on how to do it without biting the bullet on linux (which is a very pleasant experience until you get to something linux CAN NOT do)

ttdylanfel 22 Mar @ 5:26am

the devs must hate us bro why give us a achievement like this

BrokenByteOfCode 13 Mar @ 8:44am

Nah, i don't need this. I have linux native.

War crimes Gaming 3 Mar @ 9:41am

or just install achevement unlocker

DownSpade 6 Feb @ 7:02pm

or just install linux lmao

Schizima 22 Nov, 2024 @ 12:37pm

Steve Ballmer was the CEO of Microsoft. I don't even get what the joke is supposed to be.

Cenabet Savaşçı 15 Aug, 2024 @ 11:53am

I think this achievement's main purpose is to get people frustrated and pissed off with the complex setup process and play the game harder and longer with rage.

I used to think this achievement made no sense but i get it now. Nice one RWS

e_masl97 11 Aug, 2024 @ 2:01pm

Long Story short: If you still have problems with creating an VM and you have Win 10 Pro, you can do this easy with Hyper-V. Open Hyper-V click "Action" and then "Quick-Create". There should be Ubuntu. Select it, install it and there should be no problem with installing Steam and the game and getting this achievement.

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