Life is too sad and boring? Feeling lonely? Want to make some fame and preferably, money?
Congrats, this guide is for you!

After reading this ultimate guide not only you will accomplish everything you ever wanted but finally will be able to compensate for something you always felt bad, that everyone had bigger except you. Even your ex girlfriend, most probably.

What is cockroach mode?

Well, first we have to find out what cockroach is!

Cockroaches (or roaches) are a paraphyletic group of insects belonging to Blattodea, containing all members of the group except termites. About 30 cockroach species out of 4,600 are associated with human habitats. Some species are well-known as pests.

Cockroaches occupy a wide range of habitats. Many live in leaf litter, among the stems of matted vegetation, in rotting wood, in holes in stumps, in cavities under bark, under log piles and among debris. Some live in arid regions and have developed mechanisms to survive without access to water sources. Others are aquatic, living near the surface of water bodies, including bromeliad phytotelmata, and diving to forage for food. Most of these respire by piercing the water surface with the tip of the abdomen which acts as a snorkel, but some carry a bubble of air under their thoracic shield when they submerge. Others live in the forest canopy where they may be one of the main types of invertebrate present. Here they may hide during the day in crevices, among dead leaves, in bird and insect nests or among epiphytes, emerging at night to feed.


Source - Wikipedia[en.m.wikipedia.org]

As you can see, cockroach can be easily described in a single word: annoying. And this is exactly what we’re going to do! After following this guide you will master this skill.

Yes yes good question!

In fact cockroach mode is very simple, it only requires from you to have an actual iq of cockroach!

Steps are pretty simple and straightforward, no preparations needed, everyone can play this mode.

Step 1: find a niche game with nice and friendly developers, accepting community. If game is still in active development then you’ve got a jackpot.

Step 2: (you have to buy game for this, yikes, most expensive part of guide) introduce yourself to community, play along for some time, might take up to two years to fully blind everyone so they won’t notice your suspicious actions

Step 2.5: (actually hardest one!) meanwhile read game forums, discord channels if they have one, watch other people’s video. Collect as much information as possible. What you’re looking for is a random people ideas on how to play this game.

Step 3: after successfully integrating yourself into community and gathering enough information, it’s time to write your own first guide on how to play this game! You might want to ask me: “but why should I make a guide on something, that everyone already knows?” Shhh, that’s a small secret trick that will help us in a future! In fact, you don’t even have to come up with anything original, don’t waste your mental resources. Just make a compilation of everything you know, you can also use some copyrighted work from news sites for references , who cares about it.

Step 4: If you waited long enough, and your guide actually liked by community for whatever reason and seems like devs wants to include your guide name to base game as a sign of respect, you’ve just got another jackpot! Seems like you’re very lucky, huh? (If it didn’t happened then you have to admit that you failed cockroach mode and move on to next game.) What you have to do next is wait until next step. Real cockroach can wait for years! And so must you to win!

Step 5: if developer’s actually introduced feature you had in your guide to base game, it’s time for active phase. It doesn’t matter if devs did it in different way, have different approach or the fact that you did a compilation of other players ideas at the first place and provided zero useful content. If all you did was giving a name that somehow managed to stick to whole idea your winner already. But you still have to do some actions.

Step 5.1: you have to copyright strike all and every YouTube video that even mention your idea’a name. Even if they don’t but they do something you briefly described on your guide, strike them. How dare they’re making money from game you love?!

Step 5.1: at this point devs, like any other sane persons, most probably refused to thank you for “your idea”. Exactly what we wanted, they just played with cards we needed! It’s time to copyright strike their website for plagiarism! It’s surprisingly easy to do, especially if you have bot army.

Step 5.2: take down official game YouTube channel. You already know what to do, boot your botnet and copyright strike every video you can.

Step 5.3 fill a DMCA claim. You have to take down game from store, no one have rights to enjoy it, and how dare new players find about this game and try to enjoy it. They don’t deserve it.

If you made it this far you actually beated the cockroach mode challenge. Next steps are fully optional, but they will add to your score!

Step 6: after basically everyone started to hate you like a pest, start barking back under each and every post you see in social media’s

Step 6.1 claim that you have an unbeatable profs that you and developers had an agreement. If you don’t, no worries, you don’t need any proofs, no one is a smart as you and will not ask for them anyway.

Step 6.2 cope.

Congratulations, you’ve got all bonus points if you managed to follow these additional steps.

You’re now the ultimate cockroach!

After you beated this cockroach mode challenge you might face with consequences of your actions. But worry not, it’s completely fine! Everyone who played this mode before had to face the same things you’re about to face by yourself!

Since these are not really steps and can be done in any order, I will just make a fancy list.

• Make a public announcement where you’re apologizing for your behaviour to devs and community (very important!);
  
• Agree to pay compensation for financial losses to developers and store;
  
• Be ready to become a public person and lost your job since at this point news sites already writing about you and this whole situation;
  
• If someone somehow managed to doxx you (I really hope you’ve had enough brain cells to not doxx yourself, lol, but it’s so obvious I’m not going to worry about it) while you’ve been playing cockroach mode get ready to receive letters from angry fans or even threats, oof.
  
• Good option is to change your address, as life there might become very rough.
  
• High chances that you will be instantly banned from every other game community as soon as you join them.

I want to say thank you to every member of community, and especially to those, who helped me to write this guide, I will of course not mention you because it’s my original idea, everyone knows it.

And speaking of what your ex probably had bigger, I’ve meant dignity.

Also this guide is of course trademarked. I will put a DMCA claim on you if you use it without my specific permission and commission.