Phasmophobia

Phasmophobia

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How this game is meant to be played
By Nimbusᴼᴸᴳᴵ
If you cannot relate, then you have been playing this game very wrong for a long time, watch this:
   
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1. Checklist to set up your team
⌦ You

⌦ One of your friends who just got the game and doesn't know much yet

⌦ One super meta pro friend, who can tell you at which rate the different characters loose their nose hairs

⌦ One dude with a soundboard, who you just invited, because you don't know anyone else to be your fourth player

2. Checklist to set up your first mission
⌦ Your new friend can't add items, because he is (obviously) new and doesn't have the level and money

⌦ Your super meta pro friend doesn't want to add anything, because he has so much confidence in his skills

⌦ The soundboard dude just plays weird sounds and everyone urges him to ready up already

⌦ Basically you need to buy and provide all relevant items

⌦ You are a democratical leader and give your friends the chance to vote for any map they'd like, so everybody votes something else

⌦ The pro player urges you to set the difficulty to professional, because everything else is too easy and exploitable

3. Starting the first mission
⌦ You just noticed in the loading screen that someone (probably the soundboard guy) voted for random map and now you are on Sunny Meadows

⌦ Your new friend plays this game on his toaster, now you need to wait 2 minutes while the soundboard guy plays loud rap music

⌦ Your pro friend already has the wiki page for all special item spots in Sunny Meadows on his second monitor

⌦ You already start to regret your past 10 minutes

➩ The new friend finally arrives, everybody is annoyed and just starts to move in an utter chaos of random instructions by the pro player through the radio while meme sounds are being played by your soundboard guy right next to you

4. The search after your "frontline"
➩ Sunny Meadows is a hellhole of a map, so you just try to look for ghost signs room by room

➩ The pro guy is not with you anymore, you don't even know where he went

➩ The soundboard guy suddenly went weirdly quiet and is walking behind you like a wimpy dog

➩ Your new friend is still in the van, because he has some technical issues he tries to fix - or he is just AFK

➩ You finally find the ghost room after about 10-15 minutes on the other side of the map, due to
some lucky ghost interactions, while the pro guy starts shouting through the radio that he just found an Ouija board, that he will find the ghost room and win the round in no time

➩ You walk back to the van to get other items for the ghost room, at the entrance of the sanatorium you can see a body: It's your fellow pro player, who lies next to pieces of the ouija board

5. Desperate and keen survival
➩ You possibly got grandchildren by now

➩ You and your new friend are getting the needed equipment to the ghost room, finding your first lucky evidence

➩ A hunt starts the remaining three of you hide in the same room, your escape almost failed, because the soundboard guy closed the door right in front of your face

➩ The soundboard guy has a bad hissing mic and so leads the ghost to your hiding place, but killing your new friend instead, for no relatable reason

➩ You just want to end the round but remember all the equipment and money you poored into this round, so you decide to go back to the ghost room, in hope that the temperature changed or the ghost finally wrote into the ghost book

➩ You finally get another evidence and decide to go back to the van for safety and to recollect your thoughts

6. The typical ending
➩ After another 10-15 minutes you can't find any more evidence, nothing seems to make sense anymore

➩ Soundboard guy and you agree on just rationally guessing the ghost based on its behavior, also because both of your friends are already dead for a long time and are bored af, creating a pile made of dishware and trash in front of the entrance

➩ After excluding the most reasonable evidence based on your experience in this mission and the behavior of the ghost, you both agree on one of the remaining ghosts, letting the dead know your decision via radio and finally leaving the mission with your van

7. Conclusion
➩ You arrive in the lobby and see the ghost type: You guessed wrong, it's some ghost with evidence signs that never appeared and made absoutely no sense, while that ghost also didn't behave like described in the journal at all

➩ Soundboard guy starts cheering up because he chose the right one, basically telling you without telling you that he did not choose the same ghost as you, even though you both agreed on that one

➩ You will continue to suffer through this game because you just want to unlock new stuff and become better

If you need any tips or advice on how to handle any of those situations above, as horrible as possible, feel free to leave your comment down below.


3 Comments
falingo 15 Sep, 2023 @ 11:40pm 
accurate lol
Nimbusᴼᴸᴳᴵ  [author] 15 Sep, 2023 @ 2:34pm 
@Angeldlc
Thank you for your question! You don't, because then there isn't any soundboard to give you away during a hunt, which would make it too easy
Retarf 15 Sep, 2023 @ 12:26pm 
how do i destroy the soudnboard :winter2019angrysnowman: