Hello! This guide is designed for new players struggling to survive in the monstrous bookworlds proudly displayed here in Eldritch, as well as old players who may be too senile or atrophied to properly slay anything anymore. Please refer to the Table of Contents if you are looking for a specific monster that needs slaying, or just start scrolling until your bloodlust consumes what is left of your vision and you go on a homicidal rampage!

The greatest weapons are best kept secret. I'm not good at keeping secrets!

When you spawn in the library, head out toward the books and take a left. You'll find the most powerful weapons just sitting there, waiting for you to grip them in your tiny murderous hands.

They look like bottles!

They are bottles.



Take the bottles.

Let's begin.

Below, you'll find a near-comprehensive list of every monster in the game and how to slay them!

This crafty warlock wields nothing but magic and snarky wit.

Throw a bottle at him.

Somehow the eyeball thing that shows up during the nighttime on Terraria found its way into Eldritch! Fascinating.

Throw a bottle at it.

Honestly, who can remember which is which? There's no surefire way to be like "Ah, yes. 'Tites' means ceiling in Latin" or, like, "I have several mnemonic quotes and sayings to help me differentiate between stalactites and stalagmites."

Throw a bottle at them. You don't need to figure out if they're stalagmites or stalactites if they're dead.

I actually get a lot of messages about this guy. He never seems to be in the same room as you, but he's always running somewhere, and he's green, which is usually a threatening color (especially in reference to Cthulhu and the like). Very intimidating, the Green Runner.

Throw a bottle at him.

Like most Lovecraftian mythos would lead you to believe, the Voracious Dung Beetle is a force to be reckoned with. It is rumored that the abominable insect can strip a cow of its flesh in three to five business days.

Throw a bottle at it.

Hey, it's Carl! You remember Carl, right? From the party? He had that one joke that we swore we had heard before, but Carl put this hilarious twist on it. I can't exactly remember what the joke was.

Throw a bottle at him.

This lizardman is always very tired and won't actually attack you because he's asleep all the time.

Throw a bottle at him anyway.

My friend Mark promised me that this game didn't have Slender Man in it but he's a disgusting liar and horrible person and Mark if you read this I want you to know that your cooking is actually terrible, much like your ability to tell the truth to your friends.

Throw a bottle at him. Throw your spare at his corpse. Don't ever befriend Mark.

One of the most unnecessarily difficult monsters in the game, ORB CRAB bears nothing but ill will toward all of mankind and will express this sentiment in the most violent way imaginable as soon as it catches sight of you.

Throw a bottle at it.

A once-lovable children's mascot, Gastrosity now floats around aimlessly, lamenting his inability to collect royalties from his old kids' show "Gut Fartly's Buttventures".

Throw a bottle at him.

Much like anything spawned from a brain filled with nothing but thoughts of apocalyptic chaos-death, The Eternal Cube makes no sense and hates humankind as a whole. On some rare occasions, you can hear him rant for at least 45 minutes about how the very concept of humanity is a stain upon his mind.

Throw a bottle at him.

It's those two guys.

Throw a bottle at them.

Despite his name, Squid Friend is not your friend. His face spews green lightning erratically, obscuring your screen and making your life miserable. Sometimes you will find him sleeping on the ground, but it's actually a ruse because Squid Friend never sleeps. He just lies on the ground and seethes with unbridled fury.

Throw a bottle at him.

Are you kidding me right now? Are you serious? Is this real? Why is he here?

Mark keeps messaging me on Steam. He keeps using the YOLO emoticon you can get from Call of Duty or something. I called him a stupid liar and he just keeps spamming the YOLO thing. Mark is the reason I have trouble sleeping at night.

Throw a bottle at him. Super Slender Man, I mean. You can throw a bottle at Mark too, if you know where he lives or something. I'd appreciate it.

Crango used to work at a convenience store in upstate New York until he accidentally tripped and fell into a storm drain while he was walking home. He found a blood amulet belonging to the grandmaster of the Red Order and learned some blood magic stuff, I don't know. All I know is that he's an insufferable jerk and he needs to die.

Throw a bottle at him.

...Is that a penguin? What the hell? Run! RUN! CHRIST IN A HANDBASKET, GET OUT OF THERE! There is no stopping it! This is not a fight you can win! Flee! Retreat! SAVE YOURSELF!

Congratulations! You've now learned the skills necessary to deal with more than three quarters of the general "Lovecraftian Book Monster" repertoire. I hope that this guide propels you to victory in whatever.

Good luck!