Left 4 Dead 2

Left 4 Dead 2

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Top 50 reasons why Zoey is the worst survivor
By Geebanger0 and 1 collaborators
Hard, concrete, irrefutable, indisputable, objective, fact based evidence that Zoey is the worst survivor.
   
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Introduction
You know full well you're going to get mad. Stop reading. Get some help.

The List
1) Lack of physical fitness. Despite being in her physical prime, Zoey is unable to run faster than a crippled senior citizen, a middle aged biker, and an office worker who spends all day at a desk. She really is just incredibly lazy.

2) Loud and obnoxious death screams. A favourite of vocaliser spammers for a reason, Zoeys death screams are grating to listen to.

3) Poor sense of humour. The majority of Zoeys jokes are movie references, which are among the most boring and uninspired forms of humour. Every other survivor has some sort of joke or shtick that is far more creative and interesting.

4) General Naivety. She almost gets herself and Bill killed in the L4D1 intro because she assumes that the Witch is a survivor who needs help.

5) Emotional instability. Both Louis and Francis recover from Bills death relatively quickly; they're still naturally upset, but they manage to keep it together. Zoey on the other hand remains reserved and sometimes hostile when talking to the L4D2 survivors after his death.

6) Lack of motivation and commitment. Zoey fails her film studies course at college, and never attends her classes despite it being one of her supposed main interests.

7) Bland and shallow personality. She likes movies, and that's really all there is to her.

8) Poor decision making skills. Zoey kills her father on the basis that he will likely turn into a zombie, just like in the movies. But she doesn't even consider the fact that he could be immune. It would make much more sense to lock him in a room somewhere and wait a day or two to see what happens.

9) Lack of resemblance to face model. Every other survivor looks almost identical to their face model, but the only similarity between Zoey and her model is their hair colour.

10) Lack of short term planning. She almost gets everybody killed by wanting to stop the train to save the doctor at the military compound.

11) Lack of long term planning. Upon arriving at the port, she gets mad at Bill, refusing to have faith in his island plan.

12) Unrealistic physical strength. There is no way she would be able to swing melee weapons and shove zombies with the same force as Francis.

13) Uncooperative. In The Sacrifice comic, Zoey refuses to provide a saliva sample for the doctor, even though this would take a few seconds at most.

14) Obscure backstory. Based solely on in game voicelines, you'd have very little idea as to Zoeys backstory outside of "she seems to like movies".

15) Obsessive fan base. Many people whose favourite survivor is Zoey will defend her violently and reject any valid criticisms of her character.

16) NSFW fan art. There exists plenty of cool, funny and impressive art for all the other survivors. In the case of Zoey, most of her fan artwork is just porn. She is the only survivor whose name causes Google to enable safe search by default.

17) Uninspired fashion sense. Most of the other survivors dress in clothes that immediately clue you in to their backstory or personality; you can tell what sort of character they likely are without knowing anything about them. Bill has his military fatigues, Francis has his biker vest and tattoos, and Louis has his formal shirt, tie and wristwatch. Zoey is dressed in casual clothing, which provides almost no clues as to her character or backstory.

18) Worse survivor AI weapon preferences. Zoeys AI defaults to using Sniper type weapons, which reduces her effectiveness in combat.

19) Inconsistent voice acting. Zoey has voicelines from multiple voice actresses, which can be jarring when heard in game.

20) Generic visual design. All things considered, Zoeys appearance is not that unique. She bears a strong resemblance to other characters such as Claire Redfield, whereas the other survivors are more distinct.

21) Horny fan base. No other survivor can even compete. The closest would be the Coach fan base, though they are very clearly joking when they claim to be "Coachsexual". Zoey fans will frequently make various suggestive or even outright sexual remarks about her on the forums, and will do so without even the slightest hint of irony.

22) Negative in game stigma. If you see someone with a Zoey profile picture in game, there is a very high likelihood that they are a rusher, team killer, toxic, or a tryhard. NSFW Zoey sprays are also popular among these players.

23) Workshop presence. The most famous (or rather, infamous) Zoey mods on the workshop are the NSFW ones which, again, are made without so much as a suggestion of irony. Zoey also frequently features in clickbait workshop thumbnails.

24) Art forum presence. Zoey art is among the most reposted content on the art forum. Despite people having seen it dozens of times before, they continue to like and award it. There are several accounts dedicated to reposting Zoey art on the forums in an effort to farm awards. It's also very lazily titled, often simply being called "L4D" or "Zoey".

25) Forced popularity. Valve seemingly knew of Zoeys popularity within the community, and this influenced their writing. For instance, she was made the leader of the L4D1 survivors after Bills death despite being the least qualified and experienced. Ellis also instantly develops a crush on her and calls her beautiful despite only having looked at her from 30 yards away, at night, during a storm, while she's on a bridge.

26) Unrealistic reactions. Zoeys reaction to events such as the death or a survivor or being incapped can feel fake or forced at times.

27) No noteworthy memes. Louis has his pills, Francis has his hatred of everything, Ellis has his stories but Zoey has nothing.

28) Lack of iconic voicelines. Similarly to having no memes, Zoey also lacks the memorable voicelines that the other survivors have (and her most quoted ones are usually references, so it's not even really a quote from her).

29) Very forgettable. A combination of all the points so far, her personality, appearance, voicelines and interactions with other survivors are subpar and forgettable, especially when compared to the other survivors.
More of the list
30) Nondescript. IGNs 2008 review of L4D describes Zoeys character as "a young woman", which is really all there is to her.

31) Low cosplay potential. Due to her indistinct appearance, Zoey makes for a very simple but unrecognisable cosplay. Oftentimes the only distinguishing feature will be a medkit worn on the back: otherwise it can be impossible to tell who the costume is based on.

32) Unhealthy relationship with her parents. It's probably her fault they got divorced, since they constantly fight in front of her and talk about her as if she's not there.

33) Lack of personal history. For the other survivors, there's parts of their lives you naturally want to learn more about, such as Nicks past as a conman, or Rochelles ties to the man named Jacob she refers to when injured. There's no desire to learn more about Zoeys history, not because it wouldn't be interesting to learn more about her, but because there's nothing more to learn.

34) Inconsiderate. Zoey chooses not to tell the L4D2 survivors about them being carriers, a decision that causes the death of at least one innocent person (Dark Carnival helicopter pilot), and almost gets the L4D2 crew killed in a swamp.

35) Unattractive. Many Zoey fans consider her to be the most beautiful woman to ever exist. Many other people would instead argue that she's rather average, or even not attractive.

36) Ironic name. "Zoey" comes from the Greek word meaning "Life", which is ironic since she doesn't have one.

37) Inconsistent outlook. All the other survivors have a very consistent view of the apocalypse. Ellis is there to have a good time shooting zombies, Louis is always looking to the future, Bill is serious and focused on survival, etc. Zoeys outlook is not consistent however. At time she seems to be enjoying herself and acting like she's in a movie. At other times, she becomes quite grim and concerned about the state of the world. A good example of this is after she kills the chopper pilot in Crash Course. One moment, she's attempting to justify her actions and explain that she killed him for the sake of the group, the next she's joking about his death by spouting a one liner.

38) Biased popularity. Zoey is largely popular due to her appealing to L4Ds core demographic, rather than being a decent character in her own right. Asking someone who doesn't play the game to rate the characters would likely result in Zoey not being rated highly.

39) Humour relies on others. Her few jokes that aren't popculture references large rely on another survivor for the basis of the humour, such as when she mimics Ellis's stories.

40) Unconvincing pain sound effects. Whilst the other survivors have very convincing screams when they get hurt, most of Zoeys are either distractingly unrealistic, or just straight up moans (which is another reason why vocaliser spammers like her).

41) Sexist voicelines. Several of Zoeys voicelines use the fact that she's female as an excuse to belittle the other survivors.

42) Forced explanation of talents. The canon explanation for Zoeys shooting ability is that her Dad took her to a firing range and she just happened to be a natural shot. This feels considerably more forced than the explanations for the other survivors (with the possible exception of Louis, who has a similar reason, and Rochelle who has almost no experience with firearms but is statistically identical to the other survivors for gameplay reasons).

43) Shallow and possibly desperate. By the end of The Passing, Zoey regrets not travelling with Ellis, despite them having barely interacted with one another. It's possible she's desperate for his attention, or only likes him because he's in possession of the Stock Car.

44) Overshadows Rochelle. Rochelle herself is an ok character, but in terms of popularity she is vastly overshadowed by Zoey due to peoples obsession with her.

45) Inconsistent movie knowledge. In one of the elevator conversations, Zoey expresses her dislike of the fast moving zombies, saying that zombies are supposed to be slow. However, this is not true. In most forms of zombie media, there are 2 main types of zombies: undead, and infected. The undead zombies are the slow ones, essentially being reanimated corpses with poor motor function. The infected zombies are the fast ones, possessing enhanced human capabilities as a result of whatever they're afflicted with. Zoey is aware that the L4D zombies are the infected type; as such, she shouldn't be surprised that they're fast.

46) Mood swings. Zoey goes from treating Bill like a father figure, to hating him, and then back to liking him very quickly, even though the proof of his decision making was present right in front of her.

47) Illogical perseverance. Zoey is reasonably committed to following Bills guidance throughout all of L4D1s story. After meeting the L4D2 survivors for a few minutes however, she starts wondering if she should join their group. This change in goals makes no sense. For one, she'd already dealt with the military and they tried to kill her. Also, she just spent a considerable amount of time and effort working towards Bills plan (which even got Bill killed), yet she was willing to throw it all away.

48) Sexual harassment of Louis. Zoey tells Louis that he would look good in a hospital gown. Considering he is likely quite a few years older than her, this is a bit of a weird thing to say.

49) Unemployed. Not only is Zoey failing college, she also apparently doesn't have any line of work, which reinforces the other points about how hopelessly noncommittal and lazy she is.

50) Generally not very good. This last point might seem a bit vague, but the truth is you very rarely hear a legitimate reason for people obsessing over Zoey. If she really was as good of a character as so many people seem to think, then surely there'd be no shortage of reasons to like her.
Conclusion
7 Comments
DarkCrystalMethod 22 Mar @ 5:10pm 
Google is perhaps protecting people from the "other" Zoey. The one from Palworld.
Undefined 22 Mar @ 2:04pm 
No lies detected
Samuels' Chili Shop 23 Dec, 2024 @ 11:35pm 
What if the concept of her being a medical professional wasn't thrown out? Medical work desensitizes her to gore, and she isn't an outsider of society due to her position as a doctor. Perhaps for her, the toll of the apocalypse comes more from how human the infected seem or only being able to give a dying teammate painkillers. 

As such, she chooses to stay detached from everything, which would explain her making a one-liner on the pilot's death or mocking the "God is Dead" graffiti. Then once a teammate or her is seriously hurt or killed, all the pain boils and overflows in an instant. 


Or she could be taller. I'm willing to take either.
Samuels' Chili Shop 23 Dec, 2024 @ 11:34pm 
This guide (excluding the irony) is basically how I feel about Zoey as a character. Out of all eight survivors, she has the least going on—let alone anything interesting. 

Even just focusing on the cast of L4D1, Zoey is just the girl of the group. Zombie-movie girl, if you insist. Most of what we know about her comes from the Sacrifice comic; even then, it's lackluster. 

What if Zoey was the Middle Ground? Louis is the everyday man, whereas Francis and Bill exist on the outskirts of society; Zoey is the bridge between those worlds.
multoghost 28 Sep, 2024 @ 12:26am 
conclusion - boomer
Zadkiel 11 Jun, 2024 @ 7:58am 
Rochelle is the most inconsistent character, with her Pre-TLS lines and her cut lines now mushed together, she acts like two different people now on par with Zoey having two different voices, it didn't stop her from being the most annoying survivor. Also all humor is subjective, fans might get a kick out of the movies Zoey references if they have watched them. Can't forget that Rochelle makes a joke about Coach's name when he dies, like seriously? Way to mourn one of your only friends left.
ShadowFlame 10 Jun, 2024 @ 7:00pm 
zamn