Due to popular demand (1 request), the least beloved series of guides on Steam is back. This time, we're making fun of people who play as the infected in versus mode, by covering the many stereotypes they exhibit and some common signs you can use to identify them.

For the purpose of keeping things simple, when I refer to someone as an "X main", it just means they like playing as that infected the most.

I also couldn't find any decent pictures, because surprisingly there's almost as much special infected porn on the internet as there is Zoey porn, and I don't want to have to look at either of those things. So instead, I just used random, vaguely relevant pictures.

Hunter mains are by far the most likely to overestimate their own skills. You'll commonly see them spawn in way too early so they can practice their wall jumps, and occasionally fly around the skybox. When it comes to actually attacking the survivor though, they're more likely to miss the 25 damage pounce, panic and jump on whoever's nearest, and deal 5 damage before being shoved to death. It's probably something to do with the whole 'black hoodie' thing, since Hunter mains also tend to be edgelords irl.

Spotting an Overconfident Hunter is easy. If they're ignoring the rest of their team, showing off their 'skills', and generally trying to come across as if they aren't bothered by anything that's happening, they're probably overconfident.

Smoker mains love one-ways. They love them because that's the only thing they're good for. I've genuinely never seen a Smoker main make a single decent play that didn't involve a one-way or pulling someone off a ledge. If they're not doing that, then they're standing idle as they wait for the survivors to go near the one-way. Overall, they're pretty boring to play with and against.

A One-Way Smoker can be identified by them only attacking the survivors near one-ways. What did you expect, something insightful?

Boomer mains will fall into one of 2 categories, depending on their skill level.

First is the Ego Boomer. Ego Boomers believe that the Boomer is one of the most important specials when it comes to winning the game, since they can summon hordes and blind survivors to open up opportunities for the other infected. Whilst there's a good bit of merit to this belief, they tend to extend it to themselves as well. Ego Boomers think that since the Boomer is important, they are too, and it's all thanks to them that you won the round.

The other category is the Noob Boomer. These guys are new to versus mode and usually L4D2 as a whole, and don't always realise that the Boomer is pretty easy to deal with. As such, they'll usually spawn in way too early and just rush the survivors head on, only to get shot once and die.

To tell whether a Boomer main is an Ego Boomer or a Noob Boomer, simply look at their damage score. If it's close to 0, they're a Noob Boomer, otherwise they're an Ego Boomer. That's how this works, there's no in between and there's no other stereotypes.

Nobody loves to complain more than Jockey mains. They'll complain about how the Jockey is criminally underrated, and would actually be one of the best special infected if it weren't for the netcode issues. They'll also defend any criticisms relating to the Jockey, because criticism means that someone else has a different opinion to you and that's not ok.

Then the teams get switched, and the Jockey main has to play as a survivor. That's when they start complaining about how unbalanced and annoying the Jockey is, how he's the worst infected by far, and how the game would be better if he's removed.

If there's a Complainer Jockey on both teams, they will continue to argue with one another indefinitely, with neither willing to concede and admit that they're wrong.

A Complainer Jockey will be obvious, since they won't actually be playing the game; they'll be typing an essay in text chat the entire game, thinking people actually care about their opinion.

Like Boomer mains, Charger mains can also be split into 2 categories. Rather than the difference being skill related, it comes down to whether they prefer to spam M1 or M2.

Brawler Chargers only use their default melee attack, and never use the charge ability. They realise that the Charger has a decent enough health pool to hold his own in melee combat, and they'll usually end up dealing quite a bit of damage to the survivors with just the regular melee attack. If this stereotype seemed strangely positive, don't get your hopes up, there aren't any more like that.

Death Chargers are the opposite. They probably don't even realise that the Charger has a melee attack, because they only ever go for death charges. Over and over and over again. Eventually they'll get one, and will likely brag about it in chat. It doesn't matter, because their team's down 1200 points, but they don't care. Much like One-Way Smokers, Death Chargers are entirely useless in any situation where there isn't a tall ledge.

Whether someone is a Brawler Charger or Death Charger will be evident within a second of them spawning in, based solely on whether they press M1 or M2.

The Spitter is one of the easiest infected to get damage with, thanks to her acid covering a large area and her being able to attack from range. Because of this, the Hog Spitter stereotype was born.

Hog Spitters will spawn way behind the survivors, and try their absolute hardest to never die. They'll spit at the survivors from halfway across the map, deal 2 points of damage, then retreat until their spit recharges. Since they don't die, it means nobody else in the server gets to play as the Spitter, and since they're being entirely useless and dealing no damage, it mean's you've already lost. This is one of the few circumstances in which vote kicking someone is not only acceptable, but also deserved.

Hog Spitters are obvious due to how far away from the rest of the team they spawn. Their low damage numbers are also a good indicator, as is their refusal to sync up for attacks.

Every single Tank main embodies the same stereotype: the Coward Tank.

Coward Tanks are among the worst people to ever curse L4D2 with their presence. They take what should be a high stakes, intense, and fast paced boss battle, and turn it into a mind numbing, chip damage slog.

The Coward Tank mindset is simple. First, if you don't get chosen to play Tank, you tell your teammate to give you Tank. If they don't, you vote kick them. If they do, or if you were chosen as Tank originally, then you spawn in and hide as far away from the survivors as you can. From there, you spam M2 for the next 10-15 minutes. It sounds simple. That's because it is. It's also unbelievably boring to play against, and genuinely ruins the game most of the time.

A Coward Tanks only goal is to draw the fight out for as long as possible, so that their teammates can get in some extra damage. This strategy usually works. Unfortunately, because it works, everyone does it, because winning the video game is the most important thing, regardless of whether anyone has fun.

You don't need to try and identify a Coward Tank. There is nothing to identify. Every Tank main is like this. The battle was over before it began.

I'll be honest with you...

You can't play as the Witch, so really there shouldn't be any stereotypes for her, but I didn't think about that when I was adding the chapters for the guide. Deleting the chapter would be too much effort, so instead I needed to find something to write down.

What is that something you might ask? Well, I happen to know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a girl who claims to be a real Witch. Since she's saying it on the internet, we know she's not lying, so I asked her for some Witch stereotypes and this is what she said:

1) The Zoey Hater (apparently all Witches hate Zoey. Don't shoot the messenger, please).

2) The Camper: sits in a doorway directly on the main path, and complains when she inevitably gets crowned by the survivors.

3) The Walker: wanders around the map in an attempt to be stealthy, only to end up failing and accomplishing nothing.