Dead by Daylight

Dead by Daylight

184 ratings
How to take a shower (From a Legion Main FOR Legion Mains)
By Legion's Kisser
◤ - ✽ So, you’ve spent the last six hours tunneling Survivors, chaining Frenzy hits like a caffeine-fueled gremlin, and getting flamed in post-game chat. Now, there’s a faint, yet undeniable, aura of… stench… surrounding you. Could it be the sweat of an intense gaming session? The unholy fusion of energy drink fumes and despair? No, my friend—it’s time for a shower. But don’t worry! As a stinky Legion main myself, I’ll guide you through this step-by-step. ✽ - ◢
14
5
12
2
2
5
2
2
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
✽ Step 1: Locating the Shower
Much like Survivors trying to find the last totem when you’ve got NOED, you may struggle to locate this mystical cleansing chamber. Here’s a hint: it’s not in the basement. It’s usually found in a room called a “bathroom,” often near where your parents yell at you to “go outside.”
✽ Step 2: Preparing Yourself
Before entering, take a deep breath. It’s okay—your Frenzy meter won’t deplete. Now, remove the sacred garments that have been absorbing your dedication to The Entity. Yes, that means the same hoodie you’ve worn for a week straight. And no, spraying Axe body spray doesn’t count as cleansing.
✽ Step 3: Turning on the Water
This part is crucial. Unlike DBD servers, showers have consistent running water. Twist the knob. If it’s too cold, don’t panic like a Survivor spotting a Nurse. Adjust accordingly. If it’s too hot, you are not a Blight main—calm down.
✽ Step 4: Getting Wet (No, Not Like That, You Gremlin)
Step under the stream. Yes, all of you. This is not a Legion Frenzy hit—you don’t just brush past the water and move on. Commit. Soak. Let the sins of slugging at five gens be washed away.
✽ Step 5: Soap – Your Version of Sloppy Butcher
You know how you apply Mangle and Deep Wound to Survivors? Do the same to yourself, but with soap. Lather up. You should see bubbles. That’s a good thing. If you haven’t used actual soap in over a week, prepare for it to hiss upon contact like a Vampire touching sunlight. That’s normal. ♡
✽ Step 6: Shampoo – Because Your Hair Deserves More Than Just Gamer Grease
Pour some in your hand (not half the bottle, you maniac). Work it into your hair. Scrub, much like you scrub your reputation after a particularly scummy match. Rinse out completely, unless you enjoy the crispy texture of forgotten product buildup.
✽ Step 7: Rinsing – The Final Phase (No, You Can’t Stay Forever)
Now that you’re properly soaped and scrubbed, it’s time to rinse everything off. Think of it like resetting your power after a Frenzy run—necessary to start fresh. Stand under the water until all the soap is gone. No half measures.
✽ Step 8: Drying Off – Post-Shower Endgame Collapse
Grab a towel. (No, your shirt is not a towel, degenerate.) Dry yourself like you just finished a sweaty five-gen chase. DO NOT put on the same clothes you were wearing before the shower—this isn’t a speedrun.
✽ Step 9: Deodorant – Your New Best Friend
Survivors cleanse totems. You cleanse your pits. Simple as that. Use deodorant. This will ensure that next time you queue up, you’re not hitting people with Feral Funk instead of Feral Frenzy.
◞♡ Conclusion
Congratulations, you have successfully taken a shower! Much like vaulting a pallet in Frenzy, it wasn’t that hard, was it? Now you can queue up again, knowing that you’re no longer a real-life Hex: Stench of Death. Go forth, my Legion main—clean, refreshed, and slightly less terrifying to those around you. ᯓ★

(…At least until you queue up and tunnel someone off hook again. But hey, one step at a time.)





35 Comments
LowTierGuggaTTV 24 Feb @ 1:35am 
my smell so bad it's created a shield the water can't penetrate
InvaderLava 20 Feb @ 5:39pm 
Im so stenchy that the water evaporated in my own version of the ozone layer. I had to equip a shower add-on just for it work. Loofah
knowstheirvalues 18 Feb @ 4:34pm 
god, i've been playing legion for 2v8 and had started to forget my shower routine! thank you so much!
VonceLeft Sebast1an 18 Feb @ 3:37pm 
Thank god. I Reached P100 Legion a week ago, and had forget on how to shower, Thank you!
Vee!!! 16 Feb @ 12:47pm 
now all we got to do is learn how to shower irl lol
FISHERBEG 16 Feb @ 1:56am 
Nice!:thehook:
EvanWasHere_ 15 Feb @ 2:29pm 
instructions unclear: i flooded my house:steamsad:
Hexulous 15 Feb @ 12:57pm 
This guy needs a raise
Kafka 15 Feb @ 11:11am 
should be an instruction manual sent straight to the mail box of all legion mains lmao
laika 14 Feb @ 10:51pm 
lol somebody got diffed by a legion