0114

Steve Hessel

Thank you for calling Freeport City Bank. Are you looking to buy a new car? We can help! Take advantage of our special rates for action heroes!

0119

Bobby Hutson

Gotta big haul? Well, if you got the money, we got the trucks.

0126

Reid Kimball

If you are hearing this message… it’s already too late. I cannot be saved. I knew trying to uncover the largest conspiracy ever within the pharmaceutical industry would put my life in danger. I accepted the risks involved and those risks have caught up with me. My knowledge hasn’t been revealed to the public yet, I haven’t had time to give it to that sassy channel 13 reporter yet. But all the info is located… *CRASH* Oh god no, they can’t be! (frantic) Elaine St. and Hass Ave! (much further from the phone now, voice faint) *BANG* *BEEEEEEEP* (phone shot and disconnected)

0212

Gary Buchanan

You have reached Flamingo, I am currently involved in revolution 9.0 so please leave me a fantastic message and I will get back to you. If you are an El Presidente or distinguished dignitary in need of a Coup please hold the line and you will be redirected to my Cell. Viva la Revolution! *beep*

0228

Richard Lyle

Bobs Okra farm, Bob speaking... Please leave a message!

0413

Roma Jeanne

Who put bacon in the soap? I made it MAAAAAself!!!

0503

Eric Fowler

What's up. The AFDs will be ready at 1200 hours. If you bring the CAs, we will surely succeed.

0518

Joel Martin

Zombies infesting your home, town, or country? You need Zombaway, Dawn, Night, Day in any Land...you can always bet Zombaway will be there.... for those tender Brrrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnsssss

0521

Chris Stark

Dude, if you mess with my LPs one more time, I'll drop the whole world on your head!

0630

Scott Maclean

You've reached Deathstalker radio - all Deathstalker, all day

0809

Lisa Loewecke

*Dinner monkey sound*

0816

Michael Russell

*music* Viruses, bugs, trojans and worms! What is a person to do? PURGE IT! with computer purge!

0828

Rich Fleider

Hello and welcome to Barrel and Crate, Incorporated! Where do YOU need a crate today? For a company directory, press 1. For a list of crate models press 2. For a list of barrel models, press 3. For store hours and directions, press 4. For delivery options, press 5. If you are currently in a firefight and need our express delivery service, please hold for the next available customer representative.

0901

Ken Harward

Want to learn a foreign language? But every time you've tried you give up, right? Verbs, nouns, it is all too much. Slow Thinkers Incorporated is designed especially for you. We specialize in teaching foreign languages to particularly dumb people.

0906

Richard Heath

Do you like tails? Then Club iSuP is purrfect for you. The milk starts flowing at 9pm. 18 and up welcome. Music provided by 5quid with guest AshRi.

0907

Scott Inglis

Hey, thanks for calling. Roger's mom can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message.

1106

Richard Heath

Thank you for dialing Freeport Underground News. Stay on the line to hear the latest headlines. ...Today, the sprinkler system at the William Chapeau All Catgirls School in upper Thornhill was hacked, drenching most of the students. Someone at the scene reported that they had never seen so many wet *beep* Your free trial period of The Freeport Underground News has run out.

1017

Roger Kort

Sorry I missed your call, but I’m in the lab right now working on another project. I’ll be in the lab for the next year or so working on that new youth drug ’25 more Life’ Don’t expect me to return your call. . . ever

1119

Mark Morgan

Hey! Thanks for calling TightFX! If your graphics are loose and need a little wrenching down, you've called the right place. We specialize in the tightening graphics in all of your interactive needs. Please hold for further assistance or dial the extension of your personal Graphics tension expert now!

1026

John Schuch

Ed’s Gun Emporium, hello. … Hello? … Helllloooo? Darn kids.

2296

Rungy Singhal

Hello...Hello ? I can see you but I can't hear you...aw hell, leave a message.

2372

Mike G's Temp Service

Mike G's Temp Service -- Who didn't see that one coming?

2986

Snootikins Snacks

Snootikins snacks... Damn, thems some good eats!

3333

La Muchachas

La Muchachas! Need stress relief? Every day we have a free lunch buffet, all you can eat, at La Muchachas. Enjoy the best food, the best drinks, and the best latinas in Freeport, all ready for you. (Alcoholic drinks not included, seven drink minimum, all girls claim to be 18 or have a permission slip from their guardian.)

3535

Fun Phone Line

Hi, this is Fun E. Bone. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only 95 credits per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone...

4215

Old Cars

Welcome to Old Cars! Drop your car off and receive cash today........we do not accept cars with the following problems: - Cannot turn left from a standing stop - Window turns on the radio - Dashboard turns on the windshield wipers - Digital dash goes out regularly - Driver's side door doesn't unlock - Passenger door automatic unlock doesn't work.

4240

Richard Heath

Hi Norm, you there? Anyway, thanks for calling. This is Eddie V from accounting. I noticed someone left a new BTL drive on my desk this morning. It had a note attached saying that you told the IT guys that I needed a new one. I’m a little confused on this, as my current one seems to be working fine. Norm?

0209

Nick Pappas

0218

Josh Martel

0311

Doug Service

0313

Mason Lucas

0328

Vitaliy Maymushin

0401

Chris Curra

0422

Tom Mustaine

0505

Shawn Ketcherside

0525

Robert Gonzalez

0605

Zak

0615

Ethan McCaughey

0616

Aaron Cole

0625

Jesse Flanagan

0712

Wyeth Johnson

0716

Hector Marquez

0724

Kristian Kane

0802

Squirrel

0818

Steve Nix

1008

Todd Rose

1009

John Boyd

1115

Richard Gray

1123

Dave Bonora

1124

Russell Meakim

1128

Steve Hornback

9999

Robert Atkins