( A totally unhinged guide that´s 90% jokes and 10% desperation)

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝟭 𝙇𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩.
Im not here to teach you how to get rich in CS2 from skins.
Im not here to tell you the lore of Half-life 3 (RIP).
Im not even here to recommend a game.

Im here for 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 and one thing only:

Ṷ̸̡̠̺̯̃̓͑̓̚R̵͚̤̹̮̖͛͗͛̃̇.̶̪͔̰̫͍͛͊̉͐̋ ̶͖̥͚̱̱̈́̓͂̿͊S̶͓͓̰̯̎̑̉̇̕ͅT̸̢͔̥̘̣̀̀̾̈́͌E̷̬̮̜̬̺̔̎͂̿̈Á̴̖̪̯͙̪͛̾͘͘M̴̩͇̲̱͔̈́̏̑̔̚ ̸̡̢̝̹̈̓̾̈͗͜.̷̧̰̫͔̲̎̈́̔͆̈́P̷̝̖͉̳̔̿̆̆͒͜Ȏ̴̯̻̦̠̬́͂̇̑I̶̘͎̭͕̩̋͌̈́͂͘Ņ̷̨̛̜͚̰̆̂̿̅T̴̢̡̳͖͈̃̀̑̐̐S̴͕̳͇̜̰̔̈́̌̓͝.̸͕̰̙̼̫́̎̎͐͠

Yes, the glittery digital crack we all forget exists until we get one of those shiny awards.

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄.

𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌.

I crave them like Gabe Newell craves privacy.

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝟮: 𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙄 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢?

Good question. next question.
╰┈➤I have 𝙣𝙤𝙩 cured disease.
╰┈➤I have 𝙣𝙤𝙩 made a criticallyacclaimed mod.
╰┈➤I have 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙩 touched grass in 3 days.

╰┈➤BUT I 𝙙𝙞𝙙 write this guide.
And thats basically charity work.

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝟯: 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨?

╰┈➤ Your crops will flourish.
╰┈➤ Your games will never crash again.
╰┈➤ Gaben himself may whisper "thank you!" into your ear while you sleep.
╰┈➤ I will do an Imagenary dance in your honor /interpretive and slightly seductive)

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝟰: 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩?

Scroll down.
Hit that little shiny award button.
Click like you mean it.
Make it rain those animated emojis, baby.

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙋 𝟱: 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨

I couldve written a serious guide.
I couldve told you how to optimize your FPS, or how to uninstall 300GB of anime visual novels in under 60 seconds.
But instead, I chose honesty...

I want your Steam points.
And you-yes, 𝐘𝐎𝐔- can make that dream come true.

𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗠𝗘, 𝗖𝗢𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗.