Iosif Trotskhuy
Lifelong Absolutist Motherf*cking Supreme Chairman of the Democratic People’s Republic of Konstantia, Nº1 Marx Fan (Everyone else is a revisionist), “Loved” By Everyone, Doesn’t Guarantee Freedom After Speech, Hates Kulaks and Loves Gulags
Workers University
(Shoutout to Boogiepop and Hotpotato for posing for my pictures! Kudos!)


Fig. 1- My quite modest physique. Don’t mind the mess behind me.
Privet, my fellow revolutionaries! So you are tired of these burjuisi borgoisie bourgoisie bourgeoisie sukas exploiting the proletariat for their own selfish gain, eh? Don’t worry, this essay/guide is for you, my comrade! Here we I, Iosif Trotskhuy, will explain how to successfully start a communist revolution and organize the communist government of your dreams- all in Don’t Starve Together! you might as well change the game’s title

Fig. 2- O, the oppression! I can’t stand it anymore!
For this guide, we’ll analyse my glorious country, the Democratic People’s Republic of Konstantia. Before the revolution, it used to be the United Empire of Konstantia, a vicious country run by a corrupt and incompetent royal family and ravaged by greedy and heartless burgoeis burjueie man, ♥♥♥♥ it oligarchs who cared about nothing but making money. Sounds familiar? So let’s set ourselves here; a backwards country, still stuck in the past, where luxuries and technology are only enjoyed by the elites of Carter (the capital; notice how the city was named after the emperor Maxwell III’s dynasty, the Carters. How selfish.), while the peasants from, let’s say, Upper Meadows, still live in the Middle Ages, serving local yeomen like in a feudalist system. “What do we do?” You might ask. Well, do not worry, because we can do so much, even if we’re living in a centuries-old village!

Fig. 3- The seeds of the revolution can be as tiny as a small talk.
So we’re at the small, pittoresque, Upper Meadowian village of Dverzhansk, my hometown. Let’s say that, after you put your hands in some communist manifestos that you bought from a sketchy peddler and relate to them omg, so true!! so relatable! , you finally wake up to the injustices of the system and decide to wage a communist revolution. There’s only one problem: How are you getting people to your cause? After all, a single heat wave doesn’t make a leto. Begin simple: Talk to some of your friends, or even some strangers. It’s important to start slowly, so you can effectively build up a solid base for your organization. Make sure to truly convince them, even if you have to dump them in communist theories. They’ll abide by the word of Marx, anytime soon. Anytime… Soon…


Fig. 4- Propaganda is key. Ever.
Now you’ve probably gotten a select group of people, mainly your childhood friends from your village. However, it’s not enough: You still need to get even MORE people to join the cause. It’s recommended that you do so through pacific ways such as propaganda, as shooting up everybody doesn’t really leave a good impression of your ridiculously small group. Employ your comrades to advertise it to as many people as possible, through any propaganda method, name it: Street preaching, street sings, street talks, street dance , or even fear mongering. ANY. I mean, almost any, as long as they don’t involve killing someone, blyat. The point is to get them on your side and see the government as their enemy, not you. Trust me, the working class can be easily manipulated. By them.


Fig. 5- Committee for Universal Marxism wasn’t good, so we stuck with SPRM instead.
Now you’ve gotten a quite good amount of rabid people, ready to take out their frustration on the oppressive government. Before you do anything, however, you need to organize them, or else they’ll have the same fate as the children sent in the Crusades. You don’t want to be enslaved by those pigs *again*, right? Form meetings in order to discuss the essential topics regarding the organization: Who’ll be the leader? Where will we be attacking? What 's our goal? Are we killing the King? Don’t do anything until you’ve made clear how things will be settled, so you won’t have sukas asking you “are we done yet?” or “Can I go pee?” in the middle of the battlefield. NO, BLYAT, WE’RE NOT DONE YET, CAN'T YOU SEE? As you can see, organization is really needed.


Fig. 6- Make it clear to the elite who’s really in power.
Ya suppose by now that you have, in your hands, a formidable group, even composed of people from other villages. I also suppose you’re still keeping up the propaganda, but now this is the key moment; the filthy government probably now has a notion of your activities, so make sure they understand who’s in charge. Start protests and similar acts against any form of government, even if it’s a strike against the village’s local baron. Such things tend to be reported by the media nationally, further spreading your words of rebellion against the capitalist system. You might face some problems organizing the strikes, like tupitsy saying they can’t join the protest because they’ve got to work tomorrow. VLADIMIR, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF A STRIKE . Anyways, try to not do anything funny, though.

Fig. 7- Although we want a socialist society, we need money to do it first.
Remember when I told you to “not do anything funny”? Well, let’s say that you ACCIDENTALLY hit the baron with a spear. 23 times. I told you it was an accident, damn! After such an unhappy incident, the government will probably go after your group. It is time for the Revolution, my friend, but first things first, you need DEN’GI. Money to pay for guns, equipment, and all sorts of things. The baron, I wonder why, left all his will to his wife and his secret lover from Carter and nothing to you, so you can’t count on his 500 pieces of gold. Although you could “convince” his wife and lover to donate for the cause, but you do you Organize heists and assaults on places like banks, armored cars and jewelries to collect as much money as possible. You could sell drugs, but heists are more exciting, let’s be honest.


Fig. 8- You can’t install a communist regime with flowers, you know.
You’ve got the people, you’ve got the money, and now you need a mass-scale arsenal. Your comrades might’ve gotten some hoes, but they haven’t gotten the lead bros. That’s when gunpowder enters in: Not only is it used to craft things like Cannonballs and Walter’s Kablooies(it also serves for custom mods!), but it’s also a great bomb on its own! For it, you need 25 ml acetone 25 ml oxygenated water 2,5 ml sulphuric acid 1xRotten Egg(You can rob Pengull’s eggs or even feed birds for such and wait it rot) 1x Charcoal (Burn trees) and 1x Nitre(Which can be mined from boulders and petrified trees, can fall from earthquakes, or even transmuted by Wilson, etc). Walter’s Slingshot Ammo is good, in general. You can also rob gun shops and arsenals, but it’s quite riskovanniy from personal experience.


Fig. 9- Attacking important personnel and facilities is a good call, but be careful.
Now you have a group of people armed with guns and hatred. It is finally time for the action; however, you must be careful doing so, as the bourgeois omg, got it at first try! elite won’t think twice about doing anything they can to annihilate you. Divide your group into small cells, as it won’t be a problem if one of the cells gets caught. Engage in guerilla tactics (Small groups, blending in the ambient and local people, etc) and make sure to, at the same time, attack the government and protect the people. The common chelovek needs to trust you, so treating them well will make it easier for you to manipulate convince them to join the cause; many already have a pent up anger against the rich people, because, let’s say, the local baron banged their wife-Just saying. You need the proletariat at your side, trust me.


Fig. 10- You have made them run away from the green and lovely lanes of Konstantia.
I suppose your group is active-and doing well, both in recruitment(if you haven’t yet, crank the propaganda up to 11) and activity(aim for the big fishes). Your organization has taken over the whole nation, and King Maxwell III seems more and more desperate. Now that you’ve guaranteed that everything’s in your favor, deal the final blow. Invoke the people to go to the streets and finally dethrone the already fragile king. It shouldn’t be that hard of a task, as I suppose that you, my tovarishch, have taken care of everything. Occupy the capital, take down the last standing soldiers, storm the principal government facilities(Mainly the king’s palace), and surrender all your enemies (mainly the rich people and the politicians). Now you have the government in your hands! Congratulations! But hold on…

Fig. 11- If you let the weeds grow, they’ll take over your whole garden. Cut them out.
You thought that was it, da? You’re wrong! Establishing a communist state isn’t that easy. As you can imagine, some people won’t be happy to hear that the proletariat has finally established their dictatorship- They don’t like poor people getting ahead in life. That’s why, as your first act, you MUST eliminate those kinds of people, unless you want to be dethroned, do you? The politicians? They didn’t do anything for you, SHOOT IN THE HEAD! The elites? They exploited you, SHOOT IN THE HEAD! Intellectuals? They have some really dangerous ideas, SHOOT IN THE HEAD! Conservatives? They want to conserve the monarkhiya, SHOOT IN THE HEAD! Ethnic minorities? Well, you could shoot them in the head, but you can put other ethnicities in their homelands just for a little bit of trolling.


Fig. 12-They seem so happy living in their new, State-funded bases!
And finally, it is time to establish the communist regime (in DST) you’ve been waiting for. Private property? No more! Now the State will sign everyone into their bases! Kapitalizm? No more, now everyone will have their right to a 1-gold meat stew!That is, if there’s enough food. Freedom of choice? No more! Now they get to work wherever the State tells them to!(Y’know, those farms won’t reap themselves and neither will those gold rocks mine themselves) Everything for Konstantia! And how long will this regime last? Until the workers finally form a stateless society, without the need of a centralized government, blyat! When will that happen? Whenever you feel like it. AKA never. Let’s be honest, no one’s giving up their power, and neither will you It’ll be wonderful! They’ll love you!


Fig. 13- Some need to be taught the hard way.
I lied to you, not all of them will love you. “But haven’t I already purged them?” You might ask. You see, not exactly; the opposition you’re now leading with spawned only AFTER you established your Socialist paradise. Those are the ungrateful, low-life otbrosy who don’t appreciate the LUXURIES you give to them.How dare they, how can they be angry at me when I give them a daily ration of 1 potato and 1 meat? I’d kill for such luxury back in the day! If your spies(Forgot to tell you, but you need them) tell you some people are SLIGHTLY UNHAPPY with your regime, SEND THEM TO LUNAR ISLAND. “How rough of you!” You MUST be rough, or else they’ll grow and try to overthrow YOU! Yeah, you better finish building that secret torture chamber right there. You’ll need it. I know it.


Fig. 14- The hardships might be over, but you still must rule with an iron fist.
With everything out of your way, now you can freely rule and reign your SOTSIALISTICHESKIY UTOPICHESKIY RAY given to the people by Our Great One Marx through you, the Great Supreme Eternal Leader of your own country. No kings, no bourgeois, no opposition- Do it as you wish to! Of course, you must be careful to not let the ball drop, but you can now be a BIT more relaxedY’know, I wouldn’t be chilling around. Those friends of yours don’t seem trustworthy enough…, and approve any law you wanted to, but couldn’t because you were TOO BUSY carefully following this guide… Right?.... Anyways; if you go through any problem I’ve already talked about, don’t worry, do it as I said. If something happens that I didn’t talk about… Oh look, now it’s time for the conclusions!

Fig. 15- O, the liberation! I will stand for it forever!
Amazing, isn’t it? Neither can I believe it That you actually read this guide . You’ve done it. A successful socialist state, that MIGHT or MIGHT NOT turn into an ACTUAL communist one. (Wait, you thought that socialist and communist were the same thing?). Marx and Engels would be proud of you, my ditya. You put an end to the endless cycle of class fights, so you could become the top class, I mean, WE, as in the working class, become the ONLY and top class. That 's it. But hey….
Now that you’re here, I’d like to thank you for reading this guide. If you could, please LIKE, SHARE and FAVORITE this guide for all of us. Follow me on Steam if you want to see more eye-opening guides like this. Also, consider joining my group Colonial Diner Studios; only the true communists are there, no revisionists allowed. If you allow me, I must go. There’s this new gulag I’ll be inaugurating; it’ll be the first to include a collective fire pit and a coach. Nothing like someone screaming for you to do things or else you’re shot! Looks like a Norwegian jail!