I don't like watching videos! ;_______;

Well, alright.

• Load up your game and select Gravity Drive or Zero-G Therapy
  
• Keep the gravity off, that's kind of the point here
  
• Get your mop all bloody
  
• Find a wall that looks nice
  
• Mop in front of that wall so the floor gets bloody
  
• Cram your face, and more importantly your feet, into that wall
  
• Rip off your headphones because wow that's loud
  
• Either hold down forward with one hand while you do something else with the other (no, I don't want to know), or get something to hold down your forward key and go do something else for a few minutes

Great! You're probably done now. Or your game crashed! But whatever, cheevo progress tracks immediately so just restart the game and do it again. The game will definitely crash if you try to clean up the footprints you're making but it might not if you just let it be. I dunno.

That's it! Thanks, bye!