Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

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The Revised Encyclopedia of TF2 Animals
By Illithid and 1 collaborators
Greetings!
After being up for nearly 9 years, I've decided to give this guide a revision to better reflect my writing. I wrote this originally when I was 10, and it was rife with spelling errors and strange sentences, so hopefully you'll enjoy the Revised Encyclopedia of TF2 Animals.

As quoted from myself, 10 years ago:

"This guide will inform players from noob to veteran about the TF2 animals that roam the badlands. We'd gladly appreciate it if you rate us high, but feel free to rate us low if you feel the guide didn't help. We hope you enjoy our logs. :D"

Originally posted by Lord Huntsman:
Any man can shoot a bow, but it takes a wise man to know to use arrows.
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Introduction
Welcome to the Guide.

The revised edition of the encyclopedia offers a modern approach to many of the 'animals' found in the game and across maps & servers. To those who happened to read the very first guide, written back around 2014, then I salute you for your dedication.

For new readers, you can expect to find within:

  • Detailed, standardised entries on TF2's 'animals'
  • Attempts at humour (cannot guarantee they will be successful)
  • Partial nostalgia for those who miss the pootisbird
  • And more!

Hopefully you enjoy the guide!

Spycrab
Spycrab
Dissimulo aleator

Conservation Status:
Conservation-dependent (CD)





Distribution:
Trade servers (common), Custom gamemodes (uncommon), Casual (rare)

Description:
The Spycrab used to be a common site across all maps, however since the Crate Depression of 2019 their numbers have since declined. A species attracted predominantly to high value possessions, the Spycrab is most commonly found in trade servers and other locations of wealth in-game. Being an indicator species, dense populations of Spycrabs also show clear signs of gambling in the environment. Although they are infamous for their association with financial losses, in practice the Spycrab is harmless and will not engage in hostilities (provided you don't gamble with them, and not pay up).

A subspecies of lesser Spycrab (D. aleator minor) was discovered in August 2014 when they began to perch themselves on the shoulders of mercenaries everywhere. Unlike their bigger cousins, the lesser Spycrab does not engage in any kind of gambling and are truly harmless. This has unfortunately led to them becoming extinct in the wild (EW), being kept exclusively as pets.

Democrab
Democrab
Crepitus cancer

Conservation Status:
Extinct (EX)





Distribution:
None

Description:
The Democrab was an endangered creature known for its generally negative disposition towards anything around it. Little else was known about the creature before it went extinct, other than some believing it to be associated with the stars.

Pyro Shark
Pyro Shark
Glyphis pyros

Conservation Status:
Conservation-dependent (CD)





Distribution:
Maps with water (uncommon)

Description:
The Pyro Shark used to see particularly high migration numbers throughout the year, however with the current state of the Badlands their presence is limited. Being one of the most effective predators found in the waters of the Badlands, the Pyro Shark is known to lurk and stalk through both flowing and still water in search of prey. However, they are impaired by the fact that their range options are limited and they aren't particularly fast, meaning they are dependant on prey with poor awareness and/or speed as their primary source of food. They are also prone to poaching by Bots, as their lack of ranged defence makes them easy targets.

Friendly (formerly, Hoovy)
Friendly
Australopithecus amicus

Conservation Status:
Least Concern (LC)





Distribution:
Casual, Trade servers, Custom gamemodes (common), Competitive (rare; at risk)

Description:
The Friendly (formerly, Hoovy) is a common sight across the Badlands, with dense populations found near the city of Teufort. A docile creature, the Friendly does not pose a threat and acts peacefully towards those within its surroundings. The Friendly is considered a prey animal due to this, and is often hunted for sport. Friendlies are known to defend themselves when provoked, and may be persistent in their efforts if goaded enough, however these attacks are often targeted towards the instigators and do not pose a threat (beyond collateral damage). They are frequently overhunted by Bots, and avoid their presence greatly.


Try-Hard
Tryhard
Pugnator dedicavit

Conservation Status:
Least Concern (LC)





Distribution:
Casual, Trade servers (common), Competitive (very common), Community servers (common)

Description:
The Tryhard has had to migrate significantly over the past few years, as the infestation of Bots in the Badlands has managed to out-compete them for many resources and prey. They still possess high populations in Competitive areas, with ritualistic battles between them broadcast across the world. They have been known to parrot phrases, with one such example being "random critz are fair and balanced", suggesting possible ties to the Avian species, however further research is required for anything solid.

Snoiper
Snoiper
Sagittarius malus

Conservation Status:
Least Concern (LC)





Distribution:
Everywhere (common)

Description:
The Snoiper is a member of the Free to Play kingdom, that historically immigrated from Call of Duty and Counterstrike. Their contemporary appearance is found from prospecting, with many Snoipers being people investigating the Badlands. Formerly their appearances were considered insulting and were hunted for sport, however their naive natures have led to a revival in conservation efforts.

The linked video was recorded on January 8th, 2015, and offers a decent insight to the behaviours of the species' past.

Video Courtesy of PolkabudTV

Gibus
Gibus ("Free to Play")
Novitius pauperis

Conservation Status:
Least Concern (LC)






Distribution:
Everywhere (common)

Description:
The Gibus, colloquially and commonly referred to as the Free to Play, makes up the majority of the population in the Badlands. They are frequent in appearance, often posing little threat to those around (excluding recklessness). The Gibus does not seem to possess many behavioural-cognisant capabilities, and will often attack without much thought or contextual awareness (whether intentionally or through ignorance). Their appearance is also distinct, often portrayed through the following:

  • Ghostly Gibus
  • Pyrovision Goggles
  • Stock Weaponry

Some have taken to disguising themselves as members of the Gibus species in order to deceive predators. This strategy is both reinforced by the generally low skill of Gibus species and the arrogance of most Gibus predators.

Birds of the Badlands
Birds of the Badlands
Avian [...]

Conservation Status:
Conservation Dependent (CD)





Distribution:
Halloween servers (common), Trade servers (common), Custom gamemodes (uncommon)

Description:
The Birds of the Badlands is a family consisting of:
  • Kiev Chicken (A. kiev)
  • Archimedes Dove (A. archimedes)
  • Aberdeen Parrot (A. aberdeen)
  • Screaming Eagle (A. columbus)
  • Australian Owl (A. australis)
  • French Raven (A. amante)
  • Texan Canary (A. engineer)
  • Boston Cardinal (A. celer)

Whilst visually appearing starkly different, functionally all members of the Avian family are the same. They are presumably nocturnal as their appearances are most common under a full moon. Each member of the family (excluding A. australis) is also capable of some form of unique travel, such as explosive flight, teleportation, and multipropulsioned jumping.



Turtle Engineer
Turtle Engineer
Testudines mechanicus

Conservation Status:
Least Concern (LC)






Distribution:
Payload, CTF, and CP maps (common)

Description:
The Turtle Engineer is commonly found everywhere with an objective, be it a chokepoint for a payload cart, a capture point (with high population densities found at the respective final points), or the intelligence room. They are known to build their nests densely, reducing the need for the Turtle Engineer to move. This has led to impaired mobility in later life, with their coordination and capacity to distinguish friend from foe being reduced.

Box Spy
Box Spy
Testudines celare

Conservation Status:
Conservation-dependent (CD)





Distribution:
Trade servers, Custom gamemodes (common), Casual (rare)

Description:
The Box Spy is a close relative to both the Turtle Engineer and the Spycrab, being considered a interspecies link between the two. Combining attributes of both, the Box Spy lives a sedentary life positioned in obscuring locations such as piles of boxes, in warehouses, and so on. They have suffered greatly in the same way Spycrab has, being heavily poached by Bots and forcing them to relocate. Their numbers, whilst smaller than their respective Spycrab and Turtle Engineer populations, are still plentiful and with proper conservation they are at no risk of extinction any time soon.

Updates
Updates!

Update 1

I will now be adding Community Suggestions to the guide! I hope to jumpstart this guide, as it is a crowning achivement in my time on steam and TF2!

You can give me your discoveries via the guide, or by adding me!

The Group for This Guide

Update 2 (9 years in the making)

After 9 years, I've gone ahead and rewritten the guide to offer a more consistent, more entertaining, and more encyclopedic approach to the TF2 Animals. A few animals have been removed (notably, the Pyro, Pootis-Bird, and Battleneer) as their entries either didn't fit with the new style or were too similar to other species to require them being made distinct, but other than them the rest of the guide has been kept about the same.

I know most people aren't going to see this. It's a near-decade old guide for a game that's got dwindling numbers and a horrible bot infestation; if you're reading this then my hats' off to you, and I hope you've enjoyed.



Sponsors
These are our wonderful sponsors!

Following the Endangered Species of TF2

Buttstabber

Landeyx[http//steamchttp]

NEW! The allmighty TF2 species archive!
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=587194535
747 Comments
The Vietnam Warlax 11 Dec, 2024 @ 12:07am 
Well from one curious mind who’s been playing TF2 since 10 to another, I give my highest compliments to you! This is incredibly well done. :GDNormal::gearthumbsup:
Illithid  [author] 10 Dec, 2024 @ 11:38am 
Nope! I'm just someone who's thorough and curious
The Vietnam Warlax 8 Dec, 2024 @ 2:51pm 
As a student of zoology + gamer, I must say I am deeply impressed with your knack for writing this in such a scientifically accurate manner. Incredible work

If I may ask, do you also have some background in zoological sciences?
CrazyBird199 15 Jun, 2024 @ 7:21am 
Lovely
Illithid  [author] 15 Jun, 2024 @ 12:28am 
And it's finished! The guide has been fully updated and rewritten, to a good modern standard.

Enjoy!
Illithid  [author] 25 May, 2024 @ 9:39am 
Well, it's about time I do some revisions to this.

I doubt it gains much traction anymore, however after 9 years in development I hope it will be worth the wait. I'm going to be updating elements of the guide to a more modern, more appropriate standard that better reflects who I am and the TF2 world at large.

So, stay tuned!
Illithid  [author] 3 Aug, 2023 @ 6:56pm 
goddamn right
CrazyBird199 3 Aug, 2023 @ 4:18pm 
poot
plussyplatinum 9 Sep, 2022 @ 3:20pm 
poot
Illithid  [author] 24 Jan, 2022 @ 9:23am 
Maybe.