Dear Steam users,

Due to the overwhelming support and love from the "How to Bernie Sanders in Half-Life: Source" community, my guide development team began working on the sequel. We're quite excited to announce the release date, as we've poured our blood, sweat, tears, sputum and watery yellow stool into this project. We actually sent our fluids to Valve headquarters to have them turn it's contents into raw html code. The new guide is still a huge mess right now, it turns out using bodily fluids as web code is completely "irrational." Whatever that means. I think they're giving my team the run-around, if you know what I mean.

My fellow Sanderers, get pumped, get hard, erect a tent, as the next installment of the "How to Bernie Sanders in Half-Life: Source 2: Extreme Distress" will be released and bundled with Half-Life 3. Aren't you stoked?

Expected Release: Novembuary 34th, 2027.
Estimated Price: -3.4 zł

Keep in mind, the guide requires 4 expansion DLC to allow the guide to open.

The required DLC are listed below:

• Sanders: Marx's Bloody Hammer and the Golden Sickle
  
• Sanders: Soviet Alcoholism Remastered
  
• Sanders: Emaciated Communist Children
  
• Sanders: Socialists Starve Together, a Homoerotic Tale of Heartbreak and Love

The DLC will not be reasonably priced, I'm trying to buy a lime green Huracan.

"Thank you all for the love and support, we cannot wait to process your credit cards!" -OP

Bernie Sanders is a life style that can be incorporated into playing any kind of video game but it seems to work best on the Half-Life series. If you can't Bernie Sanders in-game you may have difficulty defeating bosses like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Bernie Sanders is also a religion. One must pray to Bernie every night about what they had done that day. If Bernie Sanders is pleased with your actions he will break into your home and leave fish on the dining table.

There is no exact time to Bernie Sanders but it can happen at any time, both in real life and virtual reality. Some times you may not realize you're doing the Bernie Sanders. If you need any kind of support you can always call upon the great Bernie Sanders to help you. Maybe I can also hold your hand and give you a kiss on the cheek, haha just kidding. Unless?

I.E This thing below was in my way so I called upon Bernie and he fixed it.

To Bernie Sanders you must believe that you can Bernie the Sanders. You must not Bernie only one Sander, you must Bernie many Sanders.

STEPS
-Back hop through a certain door on a certain map.
-idk what to put in this one tbh
-cobsghsocnbalbo

Someone pretending not to be Jeb Bush in the comments of the guide asked if there will ever be a "How to Jeb Bush in Half-Life: Source" guide. As innocent as that question that may seem, do not be fooled. This guy is a complete troll.

There will never be a "How to Jeb Bush in Half-Life: Source" guide. Let's be serious, pull the mask off and be honest with our selves. You can't "Jeb Bush" in any video game, it's not a technique or a skill you can acquire like the "Bernie Sanders" method we all know and love. It's a joke, he's messing around. The only "Bush" I'm personally aware of is your mother's hedge. So keep that stuff to yourself.

We all know famous gamers who have "Bernie Sandered."

Let's make a bullet point list to make it official:

• John Sander (Inventor of the Bernie Sanders method)
  
  
• Peter Stormare
  
  
• Quantavius McNeilson-Johnson (R.I.P 1983-2007 - Died in a gang related shooting in Chicago, Illinois in front of a Family Dollar.)
  
  
• Tyler Connors (R.I.P 1992-2015 - Died from alcohol poisoning while attending a "Bar Folk Night" during a Mumford and Sons cover band's set in Omaha, Nebraska. He had 3 craft beers.)
  
  
• Uncle Jeremiah
  
  
• Jagen Off-Discauk
  
  
• n3zQw!kkG@M3Rz02496
  
  
• Frank

I apologize to the "How to Jeb Bush in Half-Life: Source" community, we aim for a safe, misinformation free guide. Stay safe, stay Sandered, feel the bern.

Until next time, I... am... out...

מיכאל גייט צו דער זיצונג פּלאַץ, עפֿנט די טיר

MICHAEL: היי, אַה, קען איך העלפֿן איר דאָ?

הער. ברוין: אָה, איך בין אַלע באַשטימט, דאַנקען.

MICHAEL: Gotcha. גוט. איך'ד גיין מיט די ראָוז. דאס איז א גוטע געדאנק.

שנייַדן צו מיכאל, גערעדט צו דער אַפּאַראַט

MICHAEL: הייַנט איז דייווערסיטי טאָג און עמעצער וועט קומען אין און רעדן צו אונדז וועגן דייווערסיטי. עס איז עפּעס וואָס איך האָבן פּושט, און איך וואָלט וועלן צו שטופּן פֿאַר אַ לאַנג צייַט און פֿירמע מאַנדייטיד עס. און איך קיינמאָל אַקשלי גערעדט צו פֿירמע וועגן אים. זיי שלאָגן מיר צו די זעץ, די באַסטאַרדס. אָבער איך איז געגאנגען צו. און איך טראַכטן עס איז זייער וויכטיק אַז מיר האָבן דאָס. איך בין זייער, זייער יקסייטאַד.

שנייַדן צו Jim and Dwight

דזשים: (אויף די טעלעפאָן) דאָס איז די זאַך. עס איז זייער קרעפטיק פּאַפּיר און אויף די צוריק, עס זאגט, "100% פּאָסטן-קאַנסומער אינהאַלט." וואס? העלא? U-huh. וואַרטן. וואס? אנטשולדיגט, הער דעקער. איך טראַכטן איך בין לוזינג איר. [שעדער ווייל, ווייַל פון דווייט] העלא? העלא? יאָ. האַלטן אויף איין סעקונדע. איך וויס נישט. האַלטן אויף איין סעקונדע.

JIM: צי איר טאַקע האָבן צו טאָן דאָס רעכט איצט?

DIGHT: יא איך טאָן. איך זאָל האָבן געטאן עס וואָכן צוריק אַקשלי.

JIM: הער דעקער, איך בין נעבעכדיק וועגן דעם. וואָס געווען איר ... קענען איר האַלטן איין סעקונדע? יאָ, נאָר איין סעקונדע. דאַנקען. [פּאָווערס אַוועק שעדער, שטילקייַט] העלא? דאס איז עס. שליימעסדיק. אַזוי וואָס איך האט געזאגט ... [דווייט טורנס אַוועק די טעלעפאָן, דיילינג טאָן] העלא? דאַנקען, דווייט.

DIGHT: ריטאַלייישאַן. טיט פֿאַר טיט.

JIM: דאָס איז נישט דער אויסדרוק.

DIGHT: נו, עס זאָל זיין. (האלט אָפּדאַך)

שנייַדן צו דזשים, גערעדט צו דער אַפּאַראַט

JIM: דאָס איז מיין ביגאַסט פאַרקויף פון די יאָר. זיי ליבע מיר דאָרט פֿאַר עטלעכע סיבה. איך בין נישט טאַקע זיכער וואָס, אָבער איך רופן איין יאָר יעדער יאָר, נאָר צו באַנייַען זייער חשבון, און אַז איין רוף ענדס צו זיין 25% פון מיין קאָמיסיע פֿאַר די גאנצע יאָר, אַזוי איך קויפן אַ מיני פלאַש שאַמפּאַניער, פייַערן אביסל. און דאָס יאָר איך שטופּן ריסייקאַלד פּאַפּיר אויף זיי פֿאַר איין פּראָצענט מער. איך ווייס. איך בין געטינג קאַקי. רעכט?

שנייַדן צו Pam ס שרייַבטיש, זי פּלייינג אַ קאָמפּיוטער שפּיל

JIM: סאָליטאַירע?

PAM: יאָ, פרעעסעלל.

דזשים: זעקס אויף זיבן.

PAM: איך וויסן. איך האָב דאָס געזען.

JIM: אויב אזוי, פארוואס האסטו עס נישט געטאן?

PAM: איך שפּאָרן פֿאַר דעם ווייַל איך ווי עס ווען די קאַרדס זענען T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch.

JIM: וואָס טוט ניט ליבע

wonder bread
kraft singles (chedduh)
butter
broccoli
salmon
whole milk
butter
rice (1)
iceburg lettuce
DO NOT FORGET BUTTER.
frozen fries
nature valley granola bars EXTRA MESSY
napkins (for the butter)
butter
frozen fires
The Chronic by Dr. Dre (on vinyl)
green beans
butter
butter
general beans
flickin beans
rocky road for the b!tch

he look really SWAG right herre ngl

everybody else just skip this part

this is a message to a friend THAT SHOULD BE VERY ASHAMED

you know who you are, you remember the good times we had on darkrp
and you know what you did was wrong
i invited you over and PAID FOR HALF OF YOUR AIR FARE
and I INVITEDF YOU INTO MY HOME
and you go ahead and spend a week wWITH MY FAMILY
all just to leave a massive diahhreea INSIDE the top SECTION in BOTH OF MY

AMERICAN

STANDARD

TOILETs

the SMELL we were subjected too for months on end WERE NOT the form of suffering
you inflicted major financial damage upon my family and i will be seeking avenues for
reparations for your HORRORS

WE TORER ALL THE WALLS OUT
WE THOUGHT A MOUSE DIED OR SOEMTHING
16K (american U.S dollars) IN DAMAGESSS

you will be hearing from my mom, and i know youre afraid of her
CAUSE YOU THINK SHES HOT
now she will never like you now

THIS IS NOT OVER. BLOCKING ME ISNT ENOUGH

in these times ive experienced great loss
a face i once knew withered away
what happened was truly no ones fault
those i held dear never to be seen again

butter is cheap, i search for it in town
i make the family recipes, in nostalgia
the grease, the yellow grease, it holds me close
yet feeling of loss surrounds me , drowns me
but still, my fridge holds my antidote

ive aged, much like the dairy
but i've savored my youth like a fine cream
i have little now, a skim of what was
when God? when will I be whole again

my hands tremble as i fill the tub
let me bask, as i try to remember
the laughs of my sweet family
i feel it, the growth of my nub

cherish those around you,
enjoy them full,
because if the butter truck doesn't stop,
you'll truly be out of luck

I really appreciate everyone's interest in this guide, I put a work into it. It took moments to express such brilliance in steam-guide form.

But I'll be completely honest... the allegations are true. My wife is pomergrande. Yes! After a two year long trip to Ashgabat, my wife is growing a baby inside of her body. Totally crazy.

I'll be totally real, keeping up with this page will get in the way of me raising my child. I'm taking some time off after the birth, me and my uncle will return to Ashgabat, and hopefully he'll do that thing where he hooks his finger again. That ♥♥♥♥ was crazy.

I don't know if I'll be able to release the sequel to this guide in 2027, the BSnHLS company shut down after some allegations were made against me. I had nothing to do with my interns internal bleeding, I've never owned a.. long tube like the one described in the police report. Get real. My lawyer is on that ♥♥♥♥, fr fr.

Anyways, when my kid hits his 5th birthday, he should be out of the house. I'm a Chinese citizen, so y'know damn well that little ♥♥♥♥ is gonna be able to get a sweet gig at the Nike factory. Heard they have been improving the quality of nets they put under the window. Idk though. But no worries, I'll let ya'll fellers know when the new guide is coming out, that thing is gonna be hot.

For now, updates to this guide are going to slow down. Don't worry baby girl, it's not over. The Bernie Sanders in Half-Life: Source community will be taken care of. Tahe story will go on. I started a spicy page, and right now my only subscribers are close family members. Very supportive family. I love what's left of them ever since the incident. Oh, to all the peeps that keep trying to assign meaning to the codes and nonsense and ♥♥♥♥, stop. Waste of time. That ♥♥♥♥ wasn't put there by me. You did that. You made those things. So chill out. This is your fault. That's what my dad always said after the divorce. "This is your fault." Nah dad, your continued alcohol abuse was always your fault. You always hit me, I never did anything. I was a good boy, a good little dude. I wore my spiderman PJs and wanted to be Peeper Pardner and the spider guy, and you took your anger out on me. I can still smell the whiskey on your breath. I puke + cry every time I smell whiskey. The things I'd like to show you, but you don't even know you. Real ♥♥♥♥ though that Ukraine stuff is getting really bad ngl like cmon dude stop haha. Cmom breathe guys haha. Oh did you all see rachel maddow. she's still got that short ass hair cut but i dig it. she grows on me every time, and when i see her i grow every time hey hey hey. hey hey trump won btw did you see that. peep that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that ♥♥♥♥ wass crazzyy. it smells like rust in here. anyways i love you guys. its rough right now i know, i;ll protect you. why does it smell like rust all the time is that just me? like tons of rust. like iron or something. especially when i sneeze. haha check this out .............. ...... .. . ... .. ... . little dots and ♥♥♥♥ ...... haha .... . . . . ..... ... ... wait check this out . . .. . guess what song this is but like not the notes imma do the rytym hm . . . .. .. . . . ... / . . . .. .. ... ... haha ok thats like smoke on the water but like just the ryhtm rhytmy? ryhrthmer ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idk how to spell rhytm rithum. strait gold right now ngl check this one out ... ... ...... - - - ... ... ...... - - YOU TRY TO take his balls ... ... ..... thats like megadeth which is like really cool i heard that album in highschool. check this one out. ..... ..... ..... ....... enter sandmann anyone? haha metallica. so cool. did you all ever see that beavis and butthead show where they were really dumb and stuff and would do things. that ♥♥♥♥ was TIGHT like the space race. who was the first nation the get past the karman line? take a guess.