The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

108 ratings
Roggvirism
By the real john mccrea and 1 collaborators
with the power of daedric worshippers, Roggvir is back from the dead to give you advice on how to survive his second coming

" FOLLOW THIS GUIDE, MY FRIENDS, AND YOU MIGHT JUST SURVIVE TO SEE MY THIRD COMING" - Roggie
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
History of Roggvir
4E 201: Roggvir survives an execution on 18th, Suns Dawn. Millions dead.
2E 401: Roggvir travels back in time to the second era to kill the Emperor, Failure X, he is then executed
2E 443: After escaping from Solitude, he travels forward into time, arriving on 17th Suns Dawn, 4E 201.
18th Suns Dawn, 4E 201: Roggvir lets Donald J. Stormcloak, the rebellion General, escape from Solitude by opening the front gates. Roggvir is executed for his crimes.
20th First Seed, 4E 326: Roggvir's Second Coming occurs.
4E 326: Roggvir opens the gates to Oblivion.
22nd First Seed, 4E 326: The Emperor declares the Second Oblivion Crisis.
4E 327: Roggvir lets out billions and billions of Dremora Lords from Oblivion. He then heads to Sovngarde; Destroys Sovngarde, after destroying the Hall of Valor.
5E 0: Roggvir becomes Emperor, and declares a new era. Later leads an attack on Kim Jong Summerset, leader of Summerset Isles; Then declares being a High Korean illegal, and executes Kim Jong Summerset.
5E 3: Declares war on the Dark Elf Jews, and begins building The Great Wall.
5E 41: The Great Wall is done
5E 42: Dark Elves refuse to pay for the final costs of The Great Wall. Roggvir pledges to send the Dark Elves to Oblivion.
5E 43: Dark Elves go extinct from Tamriel.
5E 44: Roggvir is assassinated by Ysgramor's beard's ghost.
Introduction to the Roggvirism
Roggvirism, as described at dictionary.com, is the act of worshipping holy celestial unrelenting bloody cruel carcinogenic destructive immortal malignant wise savage leathal righteous charismatic violent toxic harmful dangerous ROGGVIR
Summoning Roggvir
To speak to Him, Lord Roggvir, recite this prayer: DEAR ROGGVIR THY SHALT HAVE BAPTISED THY ENEMIES IN BLOOD IN TEARS AND SUFFERING FOR YOUR OWN SUFFERING SHALL BRING THE BLOOD YOU SHED ON THAT DAY ON 18TH SUNS DAWN 4E 201; DEAR ROGGVIR HEAR MY PLEE APPEAR UNTO ME
When worshipping Roggvir, always remember to sacrifice your loved ones first. Then, in a fashion similar to the Dark Brotherhood, you simply put the bodies on the floor, surrounded in candles, with a knife in the heart and their heads chopped off similiar to how Lord Mighty Righteous Roggvir was decapitated
Once this is completed, if done correctly, Roggvir shall appear in the form of his former self. His former self being the time when he fought in the great war; alongside Donald J. Stormcloak.


The Initiation Process
Step 1: Place Initiatee on Altar (Initiatee must be asleep or paralyzed during this step)
Step 2: Call upon Roggvir to bless the Initiatee with his blood
Step 3: Cut a small incision in the corner of the Initiatee's mouth
Step 4: Add drop of Holy Blood to Cut
Step 5: Repeat this phrase: Dear Roggvir, Do bring upon this new-blood your suffering and pain; Make him/her born again, for thou shalt be blessed.
Step 6: Awaken the initiatee, after bandaging the wound which thy cut.
Step 7: Bless the now Roggviree with the tears of Roggvir
Step 8: Now allow them to don their new Roggvir Armor; They are now Roggvir Praisers.
Step 9: Shout out these words: PRAISE BE ROGGVIR, FOR THIS PUPIL SHALL CRY UNTO THEE A BLESSING NOT SEEN BEFORE; ALLOW THEM INTO OUR NEWFOUND RIGHTEOUS GOD: ROGGVIR BE PRAISED!
You are now an official trusted partner of Roggvir's cult and thou shalt praise Roggvir day unto night.
Acts of Roggvirism
The acts of Roggivrism, increase your rank and are:


Assault

Assassination

Arson

Battery

Blasphemy

Bribery

Burgarly

Child Abuse

Conspiracy

Disorderly Conduct

Disturbing the Peace

Domestic Violence

Skooma Cultivation or Manufacturing

Skooma Possesion

Skooma Trafficking or Distribution

Skooma Driving

Embezzlement

Extortion

Forgery

Fraud

Manslaughter

Gambling

Genocide

Harassment

Hate Crime

Identity Theft

Isurance Fraud

Kidnapping

Lollygaggin'

Septim Laundering

Smuggling
Ranks in Roggvirism
The ranks are as follows. These are earned by trust, holy praise to Roggvir, and acts of Roggvirism

Rank 0: Disappointment: Not even an initiate, and will most likely be killed during the second coming.
Rank 1: New-Blood
At this rank, you have just completed your initiation. You are not known, but you are truly a member of this accult following. Your blood only slightly tastes of Roggvir's suffering.
Rank 2: Blood-Ready
At this rank, you are a step above your initiative state. Your blood begins to taste the essence of Roggvir's Blessing. You must be known to atleast 5 other followers to achieve this rank.
Rank 3: Tri-Blooded
At this new rank, you are two steps above your former Un-bloodiedness. You are trusted by higher members, and your abilities to summon Roggvir's true holiness have increased.
Rank 4: Lieutentant Roggvirist
At this rank, you unlock special abilites not available throught rank 1 throught 3. You unlock the following incantations:
  • The power to wield The Mace of Roggvir, otherwise known as the Rocille in the Land of Skyrim, a genocide-splattering, barbed wire-covered daedric mace tainted with the blood of our holy leader Roggvir. Does triple damage to anyone who isnt a Nord. Does quadruple damage to Dark Elf Jews.
  • The Voice of Roggvir, Summoning millions of Dremora Lords to come into battle and commit genocide to your enemies, Donald J. Stormcloak, and even Roggvir himself to come down and beat your enemies into a pulp.
Rank 5: General Roggvirist: You are 1 rank away from becoming the highest ranked follower of Roggvirism. Only the most distinguished Lieutenants can reach this rank. You unlock 3 new powers:
  • Roggvir Phase: The essence of Roggvir surrounds you, as you morph into Roggvir for 60 seconds
  • Roggvirist's Greatsword: Conjure a 10 foot greatsword dipped in the blood of Roggvir to chop apart your enemies.
  • Roggvir Essence: The essence of Roggvir surrounds you, this time becoming a toxic gas that anyone who isnt a Nord suffers from instant death.
Rank 666 (otherwise known as Rank Roggvir or Roggvir-Blooded): There are only 2 possible members of the Followers of Roggvirism who can withstand this rank at a time. At the final rank, the blood in your veins spits out the essence of Roggvir himself, as if he is constantly within you.
You unlock 2 more weapons of mass destruction at this rank:
Roggvir's Headtaker Battleaxe: A deadly version of the Headsman's Axe that is made out of the very bones of Roggvir himself. Coated with burning spikes at the end. This Headtaker decapitates anyone from Solitude with 666x damage. Does 6900000000000x damage to Imperials, and 690000000000000000000000000000000000000x Damage to Imperials from Solitude. Added 69000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000x bonus if it is General Tullius.
Roggvir's Bow: A deadly solid-gold bow tainted with the blood of Roggvir. Shoots mini Adolf Balgruuf arrows to Jew Elves (the Dark Elves is what they call themselves)
Roggvir's Intentions
WHEN ROGGVIR IS ELECTED AS SKYRIM'S NEWEST DIVINE, WE WILL BUILD A HUUUUUUUUGE WALL, BETWEEN US, AND HAMMERFELL, CYRODIIL, AND MORROWIND, AND MAKE THE BRETONS, REDGUARDS AND ELVES PAY FOR IT. OUR COUNTRY IS IN DEBT BECAUSE OF BARACK O' TALOS, AND WE OWE BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO HAMMERFELL, BUT THAT ENDS TODAY, OUR STORMCLOAKS ARE GONNA TEAR DOWN THEIR WALLS AND AND MAKE SURE THEY KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE, NEXT, WE HEAD TO THE ISLAND OF SUMMMERSET ISLES, WHERE THE CRAZED KOREAN ELF LEADER, EMPEROR KIM JONG SUMMERSET LEADS, AND ASSASSINATE HIM WHERE HE STANDS, ONCE WE TAKE ALL THEIR MATERIALS AND POSSESSIONS, WE CAN START OUR HUUUGE GREAT WALL, AND YOU KNOW WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR IT? THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ELVES, THE TERRORIST LAND OF MORROWIND, THESE SO CALLED DUNMER THAT CALL THEMSELVES D.I.S.I.S WILL ALL BE NUKED
Surviving Roggvir's Second Coming
You don't.

Unless you're a Roggvirist
Link to Official Roggvirists Steam Group & Credits
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/groups/TheRoggvirists

credits: Father Xerpiderp and Father Jimbo (did a talos ton of work)

Aye. - Holy Roggvir, 4E 201
70 Comments
Nilop 21 Apr, 2017 @ 3:54pm 
DEAR ROGGVIR THY SHALT HAVE BAPTISED THY ENEMIES IN BLOOD IN TEARS AND SUFFERING FOR YOUR OWN SUFFERING SHALL BRING THE BLOOD YOU SHED ON THAT DAY ON 18TH SUNS DAWN 4E 201; DEAR ROGGVIR HEAR MY PLEE APPEAR UNTO ME
Wu-Tang Dan 9 Jan, 2017 @ 10:19am 
To My true father, HEIL ROGGVIR!!!!!!!

HE IS THE ONE THAT SHALT SEND US TO THY HOLY LAND!!!!!
Spine_Guy 3 Aug, 2016 @ 8:49pm 
"Aye"

So much beauty in so little words
an actual dog 19 Jun, 2016 @ 5:36am 
"AYE"
Triple-Horn 25 May, 2016 @ 3:19pm 
After defeating Alduin in the name of Roggvir, I slew Tsun, Shield Thane of Shor.Then went on to slay all the heroes of Sovngarde. All in the name of Roggvir. I hope Roggvir accepts my gifts of offering.
Smiley 4 May, 2016 @ 12:15pm 
I sacrificed everyone in whiterun, the streets run red with blood for our lord Roggvir.
I better get a good rank, I killed my wife for this.
Guardsman Fallout 1 May, 2016 @ 3:59pm 
This one had too much moon sugar... *Starts walking away*
A homicidal Rat 26 Apr, 2016 @ 9:15pm 
PRAISE ROGGVIR!
Elllll 25 Apr, 2016 @ 8:44am 
So hes Donald Trump and Hitler?
Righttttt......
Oily 24 Apr, 2016 @ 5:09pm 
someone needs to make a new dlc and call it Rogvir and its based on this shit