Note: this guide is partly satirical. Take it seriously, just not too much.

Too often do I see medics and heavies working together in pubs, but I can't blame them. Russians and germans have already proven in 1939 how well they can work together, especially if it involves invading Poland. In the case of heavy-medic pairs, we all become Poland. Their enemies can count on getting steamrolled, and their allies can count on not getting any heals. The symbiosis between heavy and medic benefits the heavy and medic alone.

Have we ever wondered if there's an alternative?

Are you that one medic that latches on to a heavy and never lets go? Most likely you know eachother already and you've done this countless of times. Maybe you've changed your usernames (with some kinda tag at the start) and wear the same all-class cosmetics to reflect your special relationship. You've stomped countless of pubs, and you don't heal anyone but your heavy. If he dies you don't stay on the frontline to aid your team, you turn around and beeline to spawn, ignoring both teammates and enemies.

On your way to spawn to pick up your heavy, you come across a bunch of lowly plebes dressed in the same colors as you. You've never really thought about them as people, they're cannon fodder and an obstacle to you and your heavy's top score. You disregard the 15 health soldier, you disregard the scout on fire, you disregard the demoman covered in jarate. As you try your best not to look at them, they're already circling you. They're yelling at you.

You ignore them and move on.



You didn't heal them cause you never considered doing so. All other medics you've ever seen do the same as you do, they heal heavies and heavies only. How are you supposed to come up with something you've never seen anyone do?

I'm here to help though, and answer a few important questions.


This is the first thing we have to ask ourselves. Yes, they do! You get in range, aim in the general direction, and hold (or press, depending on your settings) M1 like you would do on heavies. Lo and behold, a medigun beam connects you with your new patient.


Yes to the first question, no to the second. You can actually heal other classes without any odd side effects.


Proof for the skeptics.

Now that we've discovered this new function of the medigun, you are suddenly able to heal 9x as many classes as before. Should you use your new-found powers though? Can they be used for good?


Maybe, just maybe. It's not very likely he would've survived a huge damage burst if he had 450 overheal instead of 'only' 400 overheal just because you spent a second healing a scout. Fully charged sniper headshots, backstabs and big sticky traps come to mind. The chance of your heavy dying are just slightly increased.

Yes. By healing everyone you can, you will build more uber instead of only healing heavies, who won't always be around. Even your pubstomper buddy might die every now and then. Even the bottom-scoring 4th sniper on your team could be healed if there's no one around. You can use your teammates to build more uber, which you can then use on your heavy buttbuddy.

Also, your teammates might like you more for healing them, and will be less likely to kick you for being an asshat and more likely to defend you from enemies trying to kill you.

Yes. Healing your other teammates makes them more effective cannon fodder, indirectly increasing your heavy's survivability.

• Heavy-medic pairs are often a-holes.
  
• You CAN heal non-heavy classes.
  
• You SHOULD heal non-heavy classes.
  
• It's OK to pocket someone, it's OK to pocket a heavy. Realize that pocketing doesn't mean a monopoly on healing.
  
• There is no need to pocket outside of combat, you should spread (over)heals to everyone.

If you've actually read your way through the full guide and haven't offed yourself yet because it was so painful, congrats. Share this with your friends, share this with any medic you see in pubs, and share this with your parents, unless you're batman.

Check out my semi-serious guides if you feel like doing so: https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/id/stoutshakofor2ref/myworkshopfiles/?section=guides&appid=440